I can't stop texting/calling my ex when the pain of our breakup hits me. I don't have a social life or close friends to give me a hug and I'm going out of my mind. It feels like someone has died, the pain is so overwhelming. I don't know that I can go on. Please help.
2006-09-17 02:35:02 · 17 answers · asked by Karen B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Delete the number off from yoru phone.
2006-09-17 02:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by vosy2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will take care of his number, however that isn't really what you are asking.
If you don't have a support system around you, no friends or family that you can talk to (where are your parents/family?), then you need to seek professional help, even a school counselor or your EAP at work.
If you are thinking that you cannot go on, then you need to tell someone that, again a counselor, teacher, co-worker, family member, or simply call a suicide crisis hot line (google if you don't know one) and talk to someone over the phone. Do that now if you are feeling like you can't go on.
The pain is overwelming and you feel like someone has died because the relationship did, you are grieving and that's normal.
What you have to do is take one moment at a time, one hour, one day and move forward. Every step away from him is a step forward for you.
I went through this several years ago, and I thought I would never make it. I did however because I let others help me, I reached out to take control of my life. Its there, but you have to do the reaching.
You will get past this, time is a wonderful barrier to grief. I am at a point that even though he still contacts me, I don't ever think about him, nor do I respond. I really never thought I could live through a day without him, but I do, and happily. It was the best thing to ever happen to me, he did me a kindness to leave me. He is married now and has never NOT cheated on his wife. I'm thankful that is not me.
2006-09-17 10:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are going thru this. One thing that I believe in is radical acceptance. It means excepting what is. If you are broken up, you may never have the chance of getting back together unless you are both on the same page. If you grieve your relationship, this will help you in accepting that things are not going to go back to the way they were.
You can go on, hon. You can move on. I don't know if you were married or dating, but there are other ones out there for you. You have probably learned a lot about yourself to know what works and what does not work for you in a relationship.
I am married. Some days I wish I wasn't. I long for that peace that comes with being alone. Use this time now to strengthen yourself, work on the things that you want to change and try and rely only on yourself, and hopefully you have God in your life, too. It is not easy getting over a loved one, but time heals.
I am sorry that you don't have anyone around you. You can email me if you like. I will try and help you along as best I can.
Remember---radical acceptance means accepting what is and what has happened. When we long for the way things used to be, it makes our grief worse.
2006-09-17 09:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by rach_cast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard but you must stop all contact. Your feelings of a death are totally normal-it is like a death, a loss. Its like having to say goodbye to your family even though they still walk the earth. Go get the book, "Its called a breakup cause its broken", it helped me deal with a nasty breakup of a 7 year relationship last year.
Get in touch with yourself-take this time to find out who you are, do things you didn't have time to do because you were in a relationship-ie hobbies, interests. I also sought therapy, and I have a degree in psychology. Get a journal and write, write, write.
Friends are also important, but don't constantly overwhelm them with this-just get out and do things-get busy with life-you need to now.
I wish you the best, I know how hard it is, but it does get better, I promise. And you will too...Use this time to develop yourself-I did and I am at my prime. God bless...
2006-09-17 09:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by aquarian77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stop. everytime you feel the urge, consult a good friend or a family member. there is no greater pain than the pain associated with matters of the heart. . .but your ex has made a decision to be without you. it is hard, especially for the one who is left behind. try to learn from this experience and whatever lessons the relationship may have blessed you with. in time, the pain will subside. promise.
2006-09-17 09:39:44 · answer #5 · answered by evonne i 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, stop calling/texting. Get a hobby, a life, a dog... anything that takes your mind off of your ex. Remember that your ex is an ex for a reason. If their number is programmed in your phone, delete it. Throw out anything with their number on it.
2006-09-17 09:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by blessedwife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think positive. You are not the only one. Life is never smooth sailing. Take it as a challenge. Look yourself in the mirror and say he is a fool to have left you.You will forget him and have a new tomorrow.Dress up, have a new hairdo or make-up.You have to gain back your self confidence in order to start making new friends.Life is too short just to cry over this fool.Wipe your tears and stop thinking about it.There will always be someone better than him.Trust me.
2006-09-17 09:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by wan2knowhow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a social life. Before the "pain" hits again, go out and get a hobby. Do something that will get you moving and thinking about something else.
H/She is just a person. There will be others. Move on.
2006-09-17 09:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by troythom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Text Dr Phil
2006-09-17 09:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget your ex boyfriend they are hotter guys than him in the world and just go out and get new numbers. girl you need start making new friends
2006-09-17 09:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋