He found out that ,that I helped my ex.paid a $ 500 bill, I truly care about my ex,but not in a romantic way.I didn't want my boyfriend to found out, but he did.Now, he think i'm cheating or something , i explained to him,that i'm not.Can u help ? My ex. did so much for me economically,that i felt like helping him,with his bill.Now my boyfriend is mad, and asked if my ex,will pay back.I gave it to my ex.,i don't want him to pay back.What do u think ? I need your sincere opinion.
2006-09-17 02:09:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's a trust issue here. You should've been honest with him from the start and not tried to hide the fact that you gave your ex money. Is your BF upset because you gave money to your ex, or because you tried to keep that fact from him? You both need to have an open discussion about this to clear the air. Whether or not your ex returns the money isn't really the issue; it's whether or not you can gain the trust of your BF again.
2006-09-17 02:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly... if I caught my boyfriend paying for an ex girlfriends bill or otherwise I would be fuming too. Your no longer in a relationship with this person and your loyalties appear divided. The best thing to do is let your boyfriend get over this and for you never to do it again if you truly love and want to keep him. If you rather continue helping the ex boyfriend when he gets into a financial snafu then you and your current boyfriend need to break off the relatioship. Relationships are about sacrifice sometimes and it is worth it the sacrifice will mean to give up something like "this"... to make it work. Good luck on what ever you decide.
2006-09-17 09:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by kitkool 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the first place why didn't you tell your boyfriend that you were going to help your ex?? That's probably what annoys your boyfriend more, the fact that you hid it from him.....Before you did that, you had to tell your boyfriend.....He's right to be mad!! I say try talking to him, and if he doesn't forgive you, give him some time, I would think the same thing, that you were cheating, when someone doesn't tell you something, it's because you're hiding something right?? Put yourself in his shoes, how would you be?? Also "trust" is a very important thing in a relationship, if he loves you he has to trust you....."honesty" is also important, and you were not honest with him, since you should of told him the truth since the beginning......"communication" is another important factor in a relationship, try talking to him in a mature way!! Good Luck
2006-09-17 09:56:14 · answer #3 · answered by hey_amt95 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as it was your money to give, then you were paying back a loan, I guess. Only you can answer the rest. How is your boyfriend expressing his anger toward you? The answer to that gives you a clue how it will always be.
Explain in a calm manner why you did it, tell him you're sorry he's hurt, and promise not to be so close to your ex anymore. Say you feel your debt has been paid. (It has...it was guilt motivating you...more than care.) This is if you love your boyfriend. If not, then break up coz he's not going to forget it.
2006-09-17 09:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f is being insecure and immature. However you hid it from him and so I can see where he's coming from.
Bottom line is that your money is your money and its none of his business what you do with it, nor do you owe him an explanation. But people who are in a relationship should expect their partners to be open about stuff like this.
Apologize to your b/f for not being forthcoming. Do not apologize for giving money to your ex under these circumstances, it sounds like you were paying back a "debt". Tell your b/f that you will not hide things in the future, but at this point in your relationship, you will make your own decisions.
Be prepared to lose your b/f. It sounds like he is insecure to begin with, and really do you need that sort of stuff in your life?
2006-09-17 09:15:35 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation myself. If you truly love your boyfriend you should cut all ties with your ex. How would you feel if he was being chummy and giving money to his ex, behind your back. The problem is being SNEAKY! The truth will always set you free, one way or another.
2006-09-17 09:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by STONE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you made a mistake and will never do this again...giving that money probably felt right to you but in his eyes that would never make sense...good rule here....if you find yourself having to hide anything from a significant other...it is the wrong thing to do and you are lying to yourself if you think any other way
2006-09-17 09:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by Holly F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your present boyfriend is suppose to be your number one priority in life not your ex and that would make me made also cause you are not obligated to him your ex anymore.
2006-09-17 09:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you gave money to your ex, it is none of your boyfriend's business.
Tell him that you are not cheating on him but you felt, after all the help your ex gave you, that you owed him to help him out.
It is not your boyfriend's job to tell you what you can and can't do.
2006-09-17 09:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your b/f to butt out, it's your money and you will do whatever you want with it. If he don't like it, then too bad, he can get glad the same way he got mad.
2006-09-17 09:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋