This is a question I have often wondered looking back on my childhood because I, being an only child, was both spoiled and sheltered to a ridiculous ammount until my mid to late teens when my parents decided it wasn't working out very well. To that end, I opine that leaning more toward having children learn from their own mistakes is better, but am curious to see what others think on the subject.
2006-09-17 02:01:41 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Young people need to learn from theri own mistakes, all ages make mistakes it never stops it is part of being human.
2006-09-17 02:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there has to be a balance in between the two. That may be hard to do, but I'm sure going to try with my son. I was sheltered and tired of it! All my friends got to do things after school and stuff and I didn't get to do anything...ever! So one day I decided I was going to do what I wanted to! I was a good girl, but they just locked me up too much, so I rebelled! I ran away at 14 lived on the streets for 2 years. Because of being sheltered I had no idea how cruel people could be. How much evil was in the world. So alot of bad things happened because I wasn't watching out for them. Then moved in with my mom and ran away and came home over and over for a year. Then I met a man and settled down for him. So I really don't think it's good to shelter them, but you don't want a disrespectful hoodlum either. I think, let them make their own mistakes as long as it won't hurt them badly.
2006-09-23 00:55:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately they need to learn from their mistakes because that is what the real world will teach them. Now kids need sheltered to a degree because they are kids and we can't expect them to function as adults and understand the world at a young age. I myself wasn't sheltered at all. I was on my own at 16 learning first hand about the world. I had no rules and did as I wished and as a 28 year old I would of loved to had some rules and guidelines as a child.
2006-09-22 09:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by anjelahoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the only child, and I do not resent my parents for sheltering me and sending me to the best private school, I wish they had allowed me more opportunity to be normal. I cannot give to my children what my parents gave to me, and I feel my children appreciate life and what they do have more than i did. I love my parents, but it wasn't until I was 27-28yrs old before I realized what life really was about. I was divorcing my husband and had to learn how to survive on my own. That was 10 yrs ago, and I am stronger emotionally now, and more independant than I ever was. I do not ask my parents for anything, and I know what it is like to live or be on either side of the fence, and I am glad to see both sides.
I have learned now from all my mistakes, and i choose to allow my children the same, they do not need me to totally shelter them from life, how else will they learn?? I do not want them to be like I was, i want them to be like I am now.
2006-09-17 02:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by thedothanbelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each and every child is different. Therefore, must me treated and raised differently. Of course, all children need to learn from thier own mistakes but you muist remember that every mistake they make is a mistake that you allowed them make. I was incredably sheltered my entire life and now I'm in and out of jail and all sorts of things because I didn't learn those very valuble lessons at a young age. It is good to allow your children to see the world for what it is but only with you sitting on thier shoulder. The best thing you can do is to remember to instill good values and morals in your children. Teach them respect and guide them on thier journeys.
2006-09-23 08:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by AmberKortni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually believe that children en should learn from their own mistakes. Its fine to want to be protective because we live in a world of hatred and unfairness,but when we totally shelter our kids, we hinder them from knowing whats really out there.What we should do as parents is warn them and let them see for themselves. For the longest time I didn't' t think that some people had intentions to just use people for their personal gain....and that's only one lesson I had to learn. I just wish my parents would have talked to me more about that,but I did learn on my own.
2006-09-17 02:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rhea M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a combination of both. You should start out sheltering them as infants through early toddler years as they don't understand cause and affect. As they get older and can understand that actions do have consequences then you let them learn from their own mistakes. However, if they are doing something that is harmful or dangerous you should intervene no matter what the age.
2006-09-17 02:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by aliza1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A combination of both should work out well - shelter the child from really harmful mistakes but let the child learn from errors in judgement!@
2006-09-17 02:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by nswblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well making mistakes are a natural part of life. I would sure hate it myself if i was always told what to do and what not to do. Of course you got to say out the OUT OF BOUND mistakes like taking drugs and stuff when they are hitting teens but if it can't harm them any less then a scratch or if they really want to do it and they know the consiquence anyway may as well let them give it a shot and be FREE a little bit more.
2006-09-24 00:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by matt_rocks9459 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am convinced that children need to learn from their own mistakes, but only when the consequences are not too severe. You don't want them to learn the hard way not to run into the street. You have to be prepared to be sympathetic when they screw up, not annoyed or angry. As in, "Gee, that's too bad. What are you going to do?" If they don't know, ask them if they want suggestions, then offer them a variety of possibilities and ask them how they think each one would work out. This teaches them to think about the results of their actions.
2006-09-22 06:41:57 · answer #10 · answered by Teddie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to let children sometimes learn from their own mistakes. Because if you but in and tell them what to do and not to do then they are going to do it or not. But then there is a time when you have no point but to but in because it seems like peer presure starts to get the better of them and they become total idiots. Then at that point you have to step in and decide for them or they will end up blamming you in the future.
2006-09-21 21:38:15 · answer #11 · answered by sweetlee725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋