Three days ago I called it quits with my partner after 9 mths of true love. We are very close, but I feel that our core values will doom us.
One of us is a passionate conservative, the other a radical liberal. One feels strongly about the 2nd Amendment (guns), the other won't allow guns in the house. One is a pro-war hawk, the other a pacifist. One feels young children shouldn't be exposed to horror movies or violent sports such as hockey, the other was raised on these themselves. One is a vegetarian environmentalist, other is carnivore hunter. One loves our president, other can't stand him. One wants Bin Laden dead, other wants to forget and move on, etc., etc., etc...
I feel that it would be very difficult to compromise on everything and raise a family together. We're both just too passionate and stubborn about our politics. So I terminated it.
Partner's been calling/writing since, begging me to come back. I want to, but wonder if I should let this go any further???
2006-09-17 00:29:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You weren't wrong. The sad truth is that sometimes love just isn't enough to make everything work. If your values are completely opposite, you won't be able to agree on things between the two of you; it will get 100 times worse if and when you tried to raise kids together. Then you will *really* end up fighting all the time, and probably end up in a bitter divorce with the childern suffering the worst of it.
And remember this too: this isn't merely political differences, this comes down to personal values. If it were only about politics, I could possibly see a relationship being salvagable, but when it comes to a huge difference in values.... no. I hope the two of you can still be friends, but life partners need to be able to agree on family values.
2006-09-17 00:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's bound to be differences between two people, no matter how much they love each other or not. What matters most is if these differences are enough to make you hesitate to continue the relationship.
Going by what you wrote, you really seem disturbed by the differences. If that's the case, I suggest you terminate it. It's just your heart/flesh telling you to get back together but in the long run, this may be a very bad decision. Always look long-term, and not for short-run benefits.
Take care.
2006-09-17 07:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by syrope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant see any possiblity of comprimise. Especially since you brought up children. Could you stand it if your child opposes you on every point you have deep beliefs and heavy stock in.
Our beliefs shape who we are, and guide our actions. Two radically opposing p.o.v can not co-exist in an intimate relationship. It'd be like combining fire and water, if one dosen't overtake the other then all you'll get is steam, which dissapates in the end.
So you can choose to hold on to your identity, let someone completely change it. Or continue on untill your relationship falls apart on a later date.
2006-09-17 07:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Political views are usually a result of deeply rooted values that you're not going to be able to change in your ex.
These differences would have caused very serious problems in the long run, so I, personally, believe that you made the right choice.
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2006-09-17 07:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a relationship to last long, partners must respect and accept each other's views and values, especailly differences.
So looks like you are right if both do not accept the differences.
2006-09-17 08:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of u is an indian, the other is a cowboy. one of u is wilkes -booth, the other is lincoln. the spider & the fly..... it's the old army game from here to eternity. sex is just sex. attraction fades with our looks. bottom line tell partner/stalker firmly, "IT'S OVER"
2006-09-17 07:45:26 · answer #6 · answered by everybody loves 3000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are real issues you need to resolve when you do start a family together.
I think you did the wise thing.
2006-09-17 07:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you was wrong, if you break up of miner, bull s***. then it was not love, you will never find that right person that thinks like you unless it is yourself.
2006-09-17 07:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2006-09-17 07:30:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didnt know this when you got together??
2006-09-17 07:32:05 · answer #10 · answered by funseeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋