Why do parents that smack their children?

Question

seem to have the worst behaved children?

Answer 1

The child has never learnt what exactly they have done wrong, or what behaviour is inappropriate. The parent never told them - they just hit them.

So the child is not learning to behave properly because they understand the social / personal implications, they simply learn to fear the parent.

You find a lot, that physically disciplined children will behave very meek and polite and quiet when the parent is nearby; but when alone or at school, with someone who they know won't be smacking them, then they do as they please.

They've learned that the ONLY consequence for bad behaviour is a smack from mom/dad.

They don't understand that the real consequence is trouble in school, lack of friends, being labelled a bully or 'difficult', disdain from adults, imposing on others boundaries, etc etc etc.

It's unfortunate that a lot of parents don't realise that children aren't born understanding good and bad, and what happens in relation to your actions. It's our job to teach them that, but I suppose some just don't have the patience or the interest.

Answer 2

I was of the opinion that smacking children was dead wrong.

Most of my friends that were smacked a lot learned to lie to their parents to avoid the punishment rather than to behave.

I have also noticed that the kids that scream the most in Supermarkets are usually the ones that get threatened with or have just had a smack.

My two year old daughter was mis-behaving in the home, I tried all the nanny 911 and supernanny techniques to no avail, eventually she did something else and I lost my temper slightly and smacked her bottom. Instantly she shut up and I was able to explain to her why she had got smacked and she understood.

Only hit her once never felt I needed to again but it was a bit of an eye opener as I am convinced it was the most effective form of dicipline at the time.

I think smacking should be the last line of defence, as I am sure you can terrify your kids into behaving well, but it is lazy parenting.

Answer 3

Spare the rod spoil the child. When children are very young any parent knows they test their boundaries. Since a child under 2 or 3 cannot be reasoned with what else can you do for the negative re-enforcement. While growing up neither one of my parents hesitated to smack me upside the head when I was out of line. The child needs to know that you as the parent are in charge and that disobeyment has dire consequences. A spanking is an excellent tool for this as long as the child is shown lots of love when they are behaving.

Answer 4

i was well behaved as a child but did have a little mischievous streak. I only ever got smacked when I deserved it. Once I played hide and seek with my mum but forgot to tell her we were playing, half an hour later she found me and through panic went to smack me, but I ducked and she hit the old Lady behind me. I got it ten times as bad when i got home so I never did that again, I learnt to take the punishment the first time.

I don't agree with smacking for no reason, there are other forms of punishment.

Answer 5

Because unfortunately those kids who are smack do not receive love and praise when they do something good or right. The only time they get attention is when they act, a child will accept any kind of attention from a parent even being smacked..
How do I know this I have a brother who when he was small acted out all the time he was baby number 5 for my mom there were 6 of us. So when my mom was busy cooking, cleaning etc and he wanted attention he'd act out, and he got attention,however it was the wrong kind, when my mother finally asked for help with him and saw what was happening she changed things immediately,,no more smacks or whacks for him, she would take a few minutes to see what his needs where to make time just for him and after a day or two he became a changed child himself he no longer acted out to draw the attention he so wanted..
If a child needs discipline you give it but don't forget to give love and attention and support to that same child. We all like to be loved and hate to be corrected,,we all need both

Answer 6

Parents that smack their children are reinforcing a reward for negative attention. I believe that "well behaved children" are given positive reinforcement for good behavior. I also believe that well behaved children have excellent role models from which to learn that behavior. If you think about it, smacking a child certainly is NOT good behavior... (that is assuming that by smack you mean a slap with the hand)

Answer 7

Because smacking is harsh for a moment then the sting goes so nothing has been taken from them IE time, favourite toy. Plus these children think when it's something/someone they don't like just lashout hit it's what mum or dad do when they don't like something I do or want to stop me so it's OK!!!! The way some people hit/smack their children in public places makes me wonder what they do when no-ones watching I often make this comment loudly in their presence.

Answer 8

If ya had my kids, you would lock them in the basement with no food, no lights, and without toys. Yea
Not really. The children's pediatrician and a psychiatrist advised me that my children needed spanking. The shrink also said to put my son in a room and do not let him out until he shut up. My daughter was supposed to let cry in her crib for fifteen min. at least when she was a baby.
Spare the rod? Yes. You do not have to beat them but just give them a spank when there is no other alternative. Today, there are other alternative punishments where children RARELY need a spanking. However, there are just times when you must. My children are grown and great individuals. My son was sent to prison for beating a rat and daughter for raising her fist at her dog. Not really. My grand kids were given a small swat when they were in the terrible twos. There is nothing wrong with a spanking. Remember, spare the rod and spoil the child.

Answer 9

My mum used to smack me on the odd occasion. Usualy if she was angry with something I did, I just used to lie to get out of it or think up a excuse.
I don't smack my child, if I smack him he would think that smacking is ok, if a child Is bad to them in school then they will smack them. Smacking don't teach them anything.
It's lazy patenting, and parents who can't controle their feelings or temper. it's better to take something away that they love for a bit.

Answer 10

My experience is the opposite. Smacking has suddenly gone out of fashion, but children's behaviour has certainly not improved as a result.

For millions of years, physical discipline has been part of parenting. We have now decided that children have a right not to be disciplined. Only history will tell whether this is an enlightened part of human development, or a cruel experiment leading to a wasted generation.