My abortion is ruining my life. Will God forgive me? How can I move on and how can i be saved?

Question

I had an abortion a year and a half ago when i was 21. i loved my boyfriend (the baby's father) very much, but i was young and i barely even had a job. There was no way I could tell my parents I was pregnant either. They hated my bf and they're very religious. I regretted doing it right when I woke up from surgery. I got really angry and depressed and it ruined my relationship w/ my boyfriend. He left me shortly after. He wants nothing to do with me, and I think about him and the baby everyday. I miss them both.

I was forced to suppress my feelings though because he didn't want to talk about it. He just acted like it never happened. And if I ever got sad about seeing a baby or baby clothes etc. he would call me crazy. I wasn't allowed to be sad or cry. To him it was such a normal thing because all the women he knows have had at least 2 abortions and they're totally okay with it. So he figured it was no big deal, and I was weird to be upset.

I wish more than anything that I could go back to that day and change what I did. It's almost too much to bear. I can't stop crying, and I'm so scared. I want God to forgive me. I've prayed for forgiveness everyday since then. I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have any friends and my parents don't know. I just cry and talk to my puppy about it. and Jesus too. I'm so sad.

YES THIS IS A TRUE STORY. HOW CAN YOU SAY IT'S NOT TRUE WHEN I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE ALL DAY BALLING?? I HAVE NOONE TO TALK TO AND IM SAD AND SCARED. MY AND FEELINGS AND I ARE VERY REAL.

To answer you Sassy, (i dont know how to reply on this), no i dont have a best friend anymore. I had 2 best friends but I've pushed them away. My other friends were all my exes boyfriends best friends, so they no longer talk to me. I don't have any friends .. i live with my parents but i cant talk to them about it. Thats why I'm on here I guess. I just want to find some peace to know that everything will be alright.. This year has been awful, I started using drugs to suppress the pain.. I just stopped 2 weeks ago and I'm trying to turn my life around.. I come from a christian home and I've been praying to god for guidance.

And i'm not a pro lifer trying to tell some story, i'm a real 23 year old girl who lives in orange county and goes to college

GeorgeD, if you don't like my issue then don't read it or respond to it. You don't have to believe it.. I'm not saying anything personal so crazies like you don't stalk me. All I'm saying is that I did have an abortion a year and a half ago, and it's really hitting me hard. My friends decided to stop speaking to me last month.. we wen't away for the weekend for my birthday and I had too much to drink and got emotional about it, and they said they couldn't deal with my "inability to cope" anymore... which is why my boyfriend broke up with me also. I started reading posts about abortion on here and saw a lot of people saying horrible things like I would burn in hell.. bla bla.. and it really scared me... before I would suppress it and put it in the back of my mind.. but i've been thinking about it a lot recently.. especially since i stopped using cocaine.. reality is now hitting me hard. i just wanna know that i wont burn in hell, and its okay to feel these feelings.

Answer 1

I think the person you need to forgive you, is you. Your boyfriend was wrong in his actions. I think you need to speak to a doctor about this and get help You need someone trained to talk to you about your feelings. You had a reason, you did it, forgive yourself.

Answer 2

Oh honey, I understand completely how you feel and that's because the same thing happened to me except worse everyone exceot my self wanted the abortion done, my family, my ex's family, himself, my friends, etc. There was no one I could go to talk to either it was horrible. I had my surgery done just six months ago, and Im just now facing the fact that I did what I did and there's no turning back no matter how many times you cry or pray. God will forgive you and understand that it was for the sake of the baby, you wanted to give your baby everything but couldnt, you didnt want you baby to struggly life without providing it with everything possible. You wanted to make the most out of it, but couldnt. I felt the same way, God will understand that you made a choice to save your baby from a hard life without the things the baby might need or want. Life will go on and some day you'll have a family that you can provide for, this happens to at least one woman all over th world. We all struggle and fight, but sometimes it's just too much. I understand that your sad and depressed all the time, but dear, that's very unhealthy for you and I know you dont want to hear this, but you need to try and re-live life again, quiet dreading on the past, no one can change it, will have to face it, it's now the future, make something out of it. I hope everything will be ok, and you realize your not a bad person for doing that. And for the guy you were or are with, he needs to understand also, he can't keep doing this to you cause that will upset you more and more through life. Your waisting time right now dreading on what happend. Yes, it's a sad thing, but hun I went through it just six months ago, my ex that was with me at the time left me before the surgery and didnt even have the balls to call me after it was done to see if everything went ok and if I was well. But Im doing good now, I have a new boyfriend, my family, and friends. Everything will soon fall into place, just do things to get if off your mind.

GOOD LUCK and if you EVER need someone to talk to just email me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

Okay sweetie! First of all, do NOT be sad about the boyfriend! If he was not able to stand by you and help you deal with your feelings over this, he was not the guy for you. You want a guy that will let you cry for no reason and especially when there is one. I had a boyfriend that I was super in love with, we were together 2 yrs and I didnt even know I had gotten pregnant until I had a misscariage at 3 months. Super hard for me and I didnt even know it was there until it wasnt so I totally understand about this. (My boyfriend dumped me soon after - too much for him to handle - the thought of being a dad at our young age). That was 3 yrs ago and I still get sad and miss him but I know it was for the best because I want a guy that will be there for the good and the bad. Not a guy that will run at the first sign of trouble or hard times, and that it what you deserve also - we all do!

Dont stress about being forgiven... God is not that harsh. You were young and in a situation that you had to get out of. It happens. If you ask to be forgived you will.

I also believe that when you have an abortion or misscarriage, that baby was not ready to be born yet. The baby's spirit is still in heaven waiting for when your ready and he/she is ready.

Do you have a best friend you can talk to about this??

Answer 4

The first thing you need to do is to forgive yourself. I had an abortion when I was 16. At first I didn't think it bothered me because I knew I was too young to have a baby. My mom hated my boyfriend (the baby's father), and I knew there was no way I could carry a child for 9 months and then give it up. I guess I pretended like it didn't happen for a long time. The first time it really hit me was when I saw my mom holding one of my best friends baby for the first time. I totally lost it. But I did have my mom to help me get through it. I got married 10 days after I turned 21. We were together 7 years and never used birth control. I though God was punishing me for having an abortion when I was 16. I am divorced from my 1st husband now and I am married for the 2nd time. My current husband and I were only together 6 months when I got preg. with my, now 8 year old son. God will and does forgive you. It was the only choice you had at the time. But, sweetie, you need to talk to someone about this. You can't keep it inside. If you do you will go crazy. If you would like to e-mail me and talk about it, please do. My e-mail is [e-mail]. My name is Laurie. You would be surprised at how many people are in the same boat you are. I won't judge you. I will be there to listen and offer any advise I can. But if you don't talk to me, please talk to someone. Someone besides your puppy. My prayers are with you.

Answer 5

I do not know if God exists or not, but I think probably yes. The priority is for you to truly know that what you did was very wrong, not if you are going to hell or not. Before 25 people are imature, they can not help it, it is the brain. I think you are truly aware now about how wrong abortion is, that is why if God exists and if you read the bible you will see that God will forgive you, and not only that but will also bring you son back to life in the "new World-paradise". Many bible advices are good, if you married before having sex, you would not be in the abortion situation, and you would find out earlier that your boyfriend was not going to marrie you, he just wanted a lover. You did all you can do for now, you are truly sorry, and you learned from your mistakes, God is love(read about the caracteristics of God, they are 5 I think), so He do not want you to feel miserable, go on with your life the best way you can, and that includes getting away from the drugs.
Every one gets good and bad times in life, it is life, we are not in paradise you know?!
BEST WISHES.



Finish college it is a once in life oportunaty, eat well, sleep well, and if you are emotionally that bad right now might not be a good idea to take antidepressive medication, but not take too much and not for too long, if you feel better stop taking the medication but gradually, you can always start again if you feel worse. Doctors will tell you to take massive quantities and for very long time, do not listen to them, they do not care about you they just want to make money.

Answer 6

God will forgive you if you ask and mean it. You don't have to keep asking over and over. If you've already asked Jesus to come into your heart then you're already saved. Stop questioning Gods love for you. That's not the problem here...the problem is you can't forgive yourself. But, God wants you to. He doesn't want you to be in pain or to be sad. He wants to take all of your problems and heartache for you...that's why He died on the cross.

I am confused though...you said it ruined your relationship w/ the babies father...is this the same guy that's calling you crazy?

You need to talk to somebody you know. Tell a friend or a family member. Write your mom or dad a letter confessing what you did and what's it's doing to you and how you're handling it. I bet they would pray with and for you and help you deal with this. Talk to your minister, find a support group. And also see a Doctor for your depression over this.

You'll never forget it. And you'll probably always think about your baby. But, you can learn to move on and live and be happy. And that's ok.

:)

Answer 7

For a start your x boyfriend will end up sad and lonely if he carries on the none emotional path. I am not religeous although I was raised as a catholic so I can empathize with your situation.
You can never bring that fetus back, but that was all that it was at that time, it had no memmories of its existance and did'nt know you or life as you know it, Im sorry if that sounds harsh but would you terminate an ants nest if it had taken over your home.( God loves all creatures great and small) Im not saying that ants have equal worth as the fetus you carried but children should be raised in a loving family and I dont think the Father would have stayed around too long, leaving you with all the responsibility and probably making your life and the baby's more miserable than you feel right now. You will have a baby one day with a man that truely loves you, it sounds like it was'nt ment to be with the x and God works in mystrious ways and if you need forgiveness then you must talk to your parents, its actually them you need understanding from not God, as it is they you realy fear judgement from. If you cant confess to them you will stay ashamed of yourself when you have nothing to be ashamed of. It was'nt ment to be. God forgives those who repent so go to confession if you can and must that should help on the religeous side. PS Remember if their is a God watching over us he would be very busy right now and probably did'nt even notice. (joke) cheer up and good luck.

Answer 8

We all do what we think we have to do. I'm not Christian myself but that doesn't mean I don't understand what problems you might be facing regarding your faith.

It's a hard life, and it's a hard world. I don't know your reasons for getting an abortion but I can already sense from you that it was something you felt had to be done. And you should never hold a regret. Don't think back to what you did and wish you could change it, think back to the factors that lead to that decision. You need to reinforce those factors in your mind. Maybe now would be a better time for a baby, but now is not then.

It shouldn't be regarded as an issue of you making the right choice. I understand, God gave you free will, but he also gave you a consience, and to you right now that consience is what is troubling you. Listen, do you think it's better to have an abortion and feel bad about it, or have an abortion and feel nothing? The fact that you feel bad about it proves that you have a heart, and that you're a caring person, and for that... God should be proud of you.

Answer 9

I believe God will and does forgive any and all sins when you ask him. That is why He sent his Son to us, to take the sins of the world and pay the price for us. Yes, you made a bad decision, but you can use that experience and knowledge to help others in the same situation. What would you say to a young woman going through the same thing? How would you help her deal with making the decision, or more importantly, how would you help her deal with having made the wrong decision? And just so you know what I think, the baby's father does not seem to be a Christian if he considers abortion normal and preferable to parenthood. Would you really have wanted a future with someone so unwilling to take responsibility for his actions? God's hand is in everything. It's up to you to listen to Him. Trust in Him to help you through this. Ask for His help in this matter and He will ease your pain and confusion. All you have to do is ask and believe. Good luck and God bless.

PS: I would love to be your friend.

Answer 10

You were raised in a very religious household (you said your parents are very religious) so I am going to point out something to you that you might not have thought of yet... Your religious background is likely more to blame for your unbearable guilt than anything else. You can wish you had done differently, but the fact of the matter is that you didnt... face that and then forgive yourself, learn from this experience and move on. Get some help (a counselor or psychologist) they are there to listen and not to judge you. From what you have said I am guessing that you may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and untreated you will do more damage to yourself than any version of God ever will. Please seek some help to assist you in getting over this, nobody should be so tortured.
I am not "religious" but I was raised in a catholic home and I know that in the bible it says Jesus forgave those who put HIM to death as he was dying... You dont think that a God that is supposed to be so forgiving and loving will forgive you?

Answer 11

Of course God forgives you! He promised that He would. That's why He sent Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus takes all our sins away and makes us whole again.
One of my favorite pastors said that when you ask for forgiveness more than once, Jesus has no idea what you are talking about. My pastor has this whole hilarious skit where Jesus is asking the angels and the saints what you could possibly be talking about, 'cause He doesn't have any idea. Not to make light of your situation.
What you really need to do is forgive yourself. There is a beautiful song (don't know the author, sorry) the title is, "Jesus has a rocking chair". For all the babies who don't make it to Earth, for whatever reason, they are being rocked to sleep by Jesus Himself. I always liked that idea.
Consider talking to a counselor. There are free ones at colleges, talk to your doctor, they can refer you and they can't tell anyone. It's a law.
Try to get over the guy, he doesn't sound like he is worth any more of your time. Get out and meet folks (no, you don't need another guy right now, try to get yourself in a good place first). Get involved in something. Volunteer at an animal shelter. There are women's groups you can join. Look them up in your yellow pages. Getting out and seeing new faces always makes me feel better.
I hope this helps, I'll say a prayer for you.