I am 28 yrs old, and I just recieved 2 email's from my mom. The first email said -Kelli, I like your sister and brother much better than you. and nothing else. The next email said -Kelli, I would like to say I am sorry that I told you the truth about my kids but.... I had to tell you someday.
This todally took me by surprise, I never knew my mom felt that way, I always thought she loved/liked her children equally. I have so many thoughts running through my head. Questioning why did she tell me this , she knew it would hurt my heart. Does she feel this way because I have a different father then my brother and sister? OR because I moved 2 1/2 hrs away when I was 18, because she wanted to control everything in my life. OR is it because my Fiance's mother and father get to see their grandchildren more than what she does, for they live close by, in the same town. And my final thought is maybe its her ..and not me. I just cant pin-point anything I have ever done to her.
2006-09-16 21:31:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How cruel. Parents should love all thier kids the same way. We all come from the same place. Im sorry to say but ur mom was cruel when she said that. I would have to tell her a thing or too. I have a son that is going on 3 and i am 16 weeks pregnant they will be treated the same. My mom and sister picks favorites of the grandkids I had my moms first grandbaby.she has 4 and another in my belly..but all my sons pictures are top row on her frontroom wall, her screen saver my son...her phone background my son, I told them they need to be fair to the other babies too. My sister made a comment the other day she was like this baby aint going to come before deshawn and thats my 3 yr old. i said all my kids are going to be treated the same,, the first and the last..........i think u need to talk to you mom, that was just disrespectful.........sorry good luck
2006-09-16 21:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by Deshawn & Keshawn's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I was told I was loved better than my siblings .. and they were told this too.
major bummer. I can sympathize cause things get strange after such an announcement.
I would ask her why she had to tell you and see if she answers.
As for why this has happened. god only knows. Sounds like there is much bad history. And much she wanted to have happen that didn't. Could be you, could be her.
As a sanity check .. if you have dirt swirling around with other people then it is probably you. if you are doing pretty well with others then it is probably her.
You need to work forward. You still can put forward some feelers and perhaps with care and prayer the relationship will improve. Don't be too hurt if it does not.
blessings
2006-09-16 21:39:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shouldnt matter where you live ,or whos in ur life ,you should all be loved the same ,i cant understand how a mother could say such a thing to her child no matter who the father was ,
just take her with a pinch of salt ,she will be feeling quilty later ,write her a email back telling her how you feel ,and tell her you have always loved her and your brothers and sisters ,and you always will ,and that you will never hold anything against any of them and cant understand what you have done wrong .show her how grown up and independant you are ,and most of all how loving you are ,let her see a side to you she never thought was there ,it will shock her to realise she has made a terrible misstake in the way she sees you .
but for goodness sake do not get her wound up or she may dissown you ,at tghis time she needs to know you need her as a mum ,she might be thinking that shes worth nothing in ur life ,tell her just how much you love her and that you could never be with out her knowing shes there for you ,
tell her you are sorry you dont live too close and that it was just a mad thing you did at that time in your life ,but you never ment to make her feel unwanted or unloved that she means everything to you ,
i wish you luck,i think shes just feeling left out of your life.,,kat
2006-09-16 21:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow Kelli, I have never heard of a mother doing something like this. Of course your heart is breaking,This is your mother you love,and i don't know why your mother had to tell you this.The only thing i can think of, Is your mother is jealous of your in-laws, and maybe she thinks they are taking her place.And that controlling you,She probably piss off about that.You want to be your own person without someone telling you want to do.The thing with the grandchildren,that probably sticks in her throat to.It could be all 3 of these,But that's no reason for your mother to say that to you.I'm sorry kelli that your mom has done this to you.My heart go's out for you. A Friend
Clowmy
2006-09-16 21:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, it's obvious she's gong through some issues of her own. Don't fall victim to this! Send her an email and simply say, "They need it more than I do. I still love you and I care for you, and nothing you say will ever change that."
See this for what it is. She is trying to put you through an emotional trip for some reason; she is crying out for help and YOU fail to realize this? She is probably lonely and not happy with herself. She wants YOUR attention. How you react is what is most important. Do NOT get into an emotional war with her. YOU be the adult and YOU be the mature one. I suspect there's more to this...?
Do you remember when you were 13-17 and your hormones were running rampant? Remember your sudden emotional changes that were sometimes difficult to control? Well, she may be going through something similar: menopause. She may also be experiencing depression, which is not so uncommon. BE a loving daughter and call her and ask her if she's OK, and find out what's going on without harboring resentment or animosity for what she said to you. She needs help. Be there for her regardless of whether or not it was the truth.
Hey, I'm the younger of two brothers (one older one on my father's side; my dad and both brothers have since passed away) and I left home when I was 15; I put myself through high school and later college and supported my daughter when my wife and I separated and divorced. I never received moral support or encouragement. I had property taken from me (once from my brothers when my dad passed away and he had told us three that the property was for me but left no will. They cheated me out of the property. My mother later sold my property behind my back to help her step son whom she helped go to college but refused to help me on two separate occasions when I asked). I am 59 years old; my mother is 81 going on 82 and I do not communicate with ANY family members. I have learned to leave it alone. I am content and happy with my adopted "family" (friends). I was about 43 when I last saw my mother and she realized that I ate with my left hand! She doesn't know my birthday or my child's birthday or my grand children's names or birthday... but she knows my (late) brother's birthday, his children's birthdays, and the great-grand children's birthdays (on my brother's side).
Would it have hurt you if she had said that you are her favorite? She got a reaction from you; she succeeded in what she wanted. Now, stop feeling bad and realize that she's asking for help. THAT is what is important. No, it ain't easy but you can choose to be a martyr or a better person. Good luck and very best wishes.
2006-09-16 22:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
c everyone dosent love u .n u cant expect every relative to love u ...i no it is hard to take it it is the truth. i no that my argument doesnt stand anywhere as any relative n own mother r too different to compera.
just try to forget it....though its hard....
make sure that u dint do the same to ur own kids...
think abt all those ppl who love u(ur husbahd,inlaws,cildren,frnds)
just forget the past n b happy life has to go on.......being indifferent to the sorrows is the best thing in life....
br great full to God 4 these ppl who love u somuch....
dont b harsh to mother the next time 2 meet her or talk to her thiis will make her realise her mistake.
gud luck byeeeeeeee
2006-09-16 21:47:00 · answer #6 · answered by imsimplygr8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her an email that says "Mom, I don't know why you felt that you HAD to tell me that when you KNEW it would hurt my feelings and affect me for life. Why did you feel that you needed to say that to me, knowing it would hurt me and why do you like them better than me?" And then remember to love your child and do everything good for him/her that ur mom didn't do for u. You have a chance to make it better for ur own child. I'm sure ur personality has nothing to do with it. It is hers.
2006-09-16 21:34:39 · answer #7 · answered by bebeeangeldust 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is more to this story than you are telling us.
It is wrong for any parent to make such a statement .... but did you give her a reason ?
There is obviously some disfunction going on in your family ... be the better person and try to resolve it.
2006-09-16 21:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by ValleyR 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Either way, it's her problem, not yours.
Good luck.
2006-09-16 21:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋