2006-09-16 20:58:27 · 13 answers · asked by confidential_angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is not an issue of whar "every single man" does--and by the way, it's not true that all do. This is an issue of you being uncomfortable and unsure where you stand with your boyfriend, based on this new information, and an issue of honesty and transparency in relationships. Just as you deserve to know what role pictures of other naked women play in his internal life, and his mental/emotional landscape and attitudes in general, he deserves to know how you feel, and have a chance to respond to that. Whatever you feel is how you feel. Don't put yourself down, or let anyone else do it for you.
I am female, I happen not to be anti-porn at all-=-I look at it sometimes(and not to please a boyfriend--to please myself). Having said that, I completely disagree that "no-one gets hurt". I have seen subtly (and not so subtly) disrurbing material, often, and the issue of sexual abuse and rape hovers about a lot of the material, like a bad stink....I have seen a LOT of material which whilst it's not overtly violent , still leaves one feeling like the woman (usually the woman) would rather be ANYWHERE else...and you have to wonder, in a world where women still get paid so much less,for most of what they do, but not for sex, whether it's a level playing field, really. I don't care what anyone says, it's a complex issue, I think it's perfectly natural to have at least MIXED feelings about it, and I think anyone that cares for you will at least be interested and respectful about what you feel and have to say.I hope you can reach some common ground, and learn something about each other on the way.:)
2006-09-16 21:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, the porn probably has nothing to do with a lessened love for you, it just normal behavior for people, though it's often repressed.
Yes, you should talk to him...IF you are OK with his enjoyment
Yes, you are being a bit prudish.
If you don't want to be prudish, find some porn you like, and enjoy it, possibly with him.
Other wise, it's a personal choice you have made to disapprove of his behavior and on an issue like this, you should separate...I know it sound drastic, but over time you will find you are two VERY DIFFERENT people and whether he refuses to submit top your closed minded demands to stop, or you "allow it" but make him fell like a freak, it will create problems and I believe the a lot of sexual predators are actually created by the rejection & felling of alianatioin of a person because of common human desire
2006-09-16 21:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most every guy has porn on his computer. If not, they have a very active imagination doing the exact same thing. If you are uncomfortable with his porn, tell him. Even if he doesn't have an actual physical picture to look at, it will still be in his mind. Taking away his porn won't make that change.
Also, think of it like this. Him looking at porn is a lot different than finding some other girl to cheat on you with. Also, keep in mind that there may be things you don't want to do, and porn could fill that particular need.
2006-09-16 21:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by gen_ex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every single man and boy on earth with a computer and Internet access has porn on his computer. The ones who don't have porn magazines under their mattresses. It's a fact of nature you'll have to get used to if you like men at all.
2006-09-16 21:08:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL men have porn somewhere at some stage in their lives.
How did you feel when you saw it? Was it just simply naked female pictures, full on sex, or something else entirely?
Why don't you check some of it out with him and learn about what makes him tick. Mostly it's harmless fantasy, so who knows what you two might get up to if you communicate with him.
Try to enjoy, but if you're uncomfortable then tell him about this and why.
Best of luck and fun ;-]
2006-09-16 21:05:34 · answer #5 · answered by pugsbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost every guy you meet looks at porn. Don't make a big deal out of it. It's totally normal as long as it's not kiddie porn.
2006-09-16 21:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by Trevor B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't like that sort of thing then i would suggest you not look at his computer again. men are men and they will alway enjoy porn. Why don't you look at it with him. I know he would enjoy that, and you might find out that you like it too.. it's just a video or some pictures, no one is getting hurt right? He not out sleeping around behind your back.. try it you might like it
2006-09-16 21:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God. I hate porn. I found some hardcore stuff on my exs once and I dumped him. I hate porn of any kind and hate the fact of any boyf getting off on a nude womans body. Yuk. Talk to him and tell him you know. He will die of embarrasment probably
2006-09-16 21:02:17 · answer #8 · answered by Abigail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your guy. Already you sound like that you may think the conversation will not go well if you talk to him about it.
If you need to talk about it, talk more about the subject of porn itself and not that you found it on his computer. He may not like the implication of you looking through his files.
2006-09-16 21:05:11 · answer #9 · answered by Chronos23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what. We have a lot of porn on our computer, some of it his, some of it mine.
2006-09-16 21:03:22 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋