MY FATHER has done many good deeds for me,WHY I can't forget the physical &mental abuse he has done to me?

Question

I CAN'T FORGET THE PHYSICAL & MENTAL ABUSE HE HAVE DONE TO ME SINCE I WAS A KID.I'M NOW 30 YRS.OLD I WAS RAISED IN THE PHILIPPINES & WE MIGRATED HERE IN CARSON

Answer 1

You will, eventually. Get over it and forgive him before he dies. If you both don't voice your opinions on the past it will eat at both of you until it's too late to bury the hatchet. He didn't have the "tools" to raise you any other way....or did he? If you now as a man or woman, can forgive him, and vow not to repeat his techniques maybe his methods worked. Don't forget...always remember. You've seemed to have taken the good with the bad and forgotten niether. Forgive but don't forget.

Answer 2

OK yes everyone in only human but the angust of being told things that mess with your self esteem and being thrown around and beaten leaves a person with a complex I have been there hun and over time I have come to just deal with it and do what I can to keep myself busy and keeping a journal or a diary worked for me as well as talking to friends but everyone deals with things differently. You won't forget it but remember the only reason he mentally and physically abused you was because there is something wrong with him not you hun he had no one else to take out his frustrations and agnst on I have never forgiven my dad nor will I ever but you are better then him and a hell of alot stronger and nothing can get you down again that was how I dealt with it since I was 4. And just remember you have close friends who can stand by yourside when you hit a low so that you can have help pulling out of it. Also remember you are yourself no one can change you and what happened in your past was an experience that yes shouldn't have happened but you can have a better understanding of what other people go through I have come to use that to my advantage when I have met people who have gone through the same thing my dad was a marine I am not going to say I had the worst childhood nor was it the best but I learned what was supposed to happen and what wasn't. Use your childhood to your advantage it will be worth it.

Answer 3

No one can really get over with the harm that others have done us. Even though God helps us to forgive, I still don't think it's likely to forget. You're normal feeling this way, so don't worry too much. The thing is that your father should NEVER have hurt you in such a way.

Answer 4

Go see a psychiatrist to help you heal. It is not your fault to feel this way. Are you separated with your dad already? Or he is in Carson with you? Your dad needs to heal too. I am pretty sure that he knows what he did, and paying up through good deeds. Heal yourself... move on with your life. Its okay to talk about it. And we learn from it. Also, most Philippine media always potrays abuse to children and wives. This is being addressed my different NGOs in the Philippines and Asia. But with your experience and healing process, you can help in the future to help others to get out of this psychological ordeal.

Answer 5

I was highly abused as a child as well in every way! You'll never forget it!

What helped me was to realise people are all human! Many were taught to do as they did. Yes, even deplorable things! Often times they don't realise or find they were wrong for many years!

Thus forgiveness is in order!, We were not made to forget. thus we should not redo the harm to others ourselves!

Answer 6

You will never forget the physical and mental abuse he did but what you can do is try to forgive him for it. It will make you feel a little better about it.

Answer 7

Physical and mental abuse lasts forever. I know I am 18 and still livign in it and it will never go away I lov emy dad dearly but the agian I hate him.

Answer 8

this is because he has broken your trust and this kind of trust is not something you can repair. you can't forget because you can no longer trust him as you used to before he did that. even though he did great things for it doesn't compensate for whatever he did to you. it is something which cannot be forgotten. you just have to learn to live with and talk to a counseller. it will help. also you should try to talk to your dad frankly about whatever happened and not omit anything. tell him frankly whatever you feel. good luck

Answer 9

you cant forget because you havent dealt with it. doing good deeds do not superceede the abuse you suffered.does he know how you feel? if not tell him ,then get counciling.letting him know exactly how you feel will relieve a great burden off your mind and heart. good luck always--nonners

Answer 10

if he violated your trust and left you feeling unsafe, then it is no wonder you can not forgive him. a parent is meant to protect you, and from the sounds of it, your father did the opposite. the worst abuse is not of the body but of the trust. but please be aware that your father is just one man, and not everyone will treat you like this.