Why is it always easy to say be yourself, be confident, don't be shy, etc etc but in the actual moment its like an impossible wall you have to break through, I know what I have to do to talk to a girl but in the clutch I always screw up. Anyone else get this
2006-09-16 20:11:24 · 14 answers · asked by Michael M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know what you mean. I'm shy at first and i rarely am ever confident ..well about looks anyways. You're right, it seems impossible to be confident and get over being shy but over time, it may seem to get better. I know it did for me. Talk to people as you would your friends. Don't think about what they will think of you or anything. As for being confident. It takes time. Just don't obsess over it and eventually you will gradually get over all of this! :]
2006-09-16 20:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just a shy person I bet you are like me can get the right words in your own mind and it sounds great but when it comes to the time of saying it. It all comes out wrong not the way you wanted it to come out
2006-09-16 20:14:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Magoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that way to you because your insecurities are in control. And by insecurities, I mean things like fear of rejection. All you have to do is face your insecurities. I know what your thinking--that's easier said than done. But facing your insecurities is not that difficult. Let me explain:
Let's take fear of rejection. What is fear of rejection? I mean for you personally. Are you worried that if you tell a girl you like her and would like to date her, she might laugh at you, and then tell all her friends about it. And worse yet, have all her friends (not only girls but also guys) come up to you and hurt your feelings by asking you what made you think that such an unworthy person like you would even have a chance with such a classy girl like her.
If the above were to happen, and intelligent people were to observe it, and then pass judgement on everyone involved, who do you think they would judge to be unworthy and who do you think they would judge to have class?
You, and everyone else reading this, know that all the people who treated you with disrespect would be judged to be the unworthy ones; and you, who treated that girl with respect, would be the only one judged to have class.
Now that you understand that. You know that you have nothing to fear. Even though those unworthy of your friendship won't admit to you that they are unworthy, they can't lie to themselves. In other words, they know they are unworthy of your friendship because of their actions toward you. And you know that they know. And they know that you know.
You are in a very strong and powerful position. You have knowledge on your side. Eventually, those who have a conscience, will approach you to apologize for their actions. Others won't. This knowledge will help guide you in choosing your friends--and your girlfriend. You don't want the bad ones in your life. And if the apple of your eye (yes, the hoped for girlfriend) turns out to be a bad one, you should consider yourself fortunate to know that, so that you can focus on someone else.
2006-09-16 20:46:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be hard at first, but don't give up. I was pretty much shy all of my life, and I'm coming out of it. I still have my ackward moments sometimes, so don't lose hope. You might even find someone who sees your foot going in your mouth helps you get it out... :)
2006-09-16 20:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by Teoshe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. I'm a very confident person. But when I get around someone I'm really attracted to and it's crunch time, I really put my foot in my mouth or don't act like me. Good luck.
2006-09-16 20:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by iambic_chatterbox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow it sucks to be you right now... but that will change soon... don't worry about it to much right now... keep making the effort to improve and you'll develop the gift... women are like men in that they often just want to be silly and talk about stupid things that have no significant meaning... don't be looking so hard for a hook-up, just try to find a girl that is worth talking to and you should be fine.
2006-09-16 20:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by ohyeah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of it relatively is being too tender, i think of perhaps you merely care & love too a lot and you provide your self entire heartedly which makes you vulnerable. do no longer enable human beings substitute you reside who you're. I made the blunders of letting human beings substitute me and now i won't have the ability to locate the previous me by using fact she's lost under a lot injury & discomfort.
2016-10-01 01:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're putting to much pressure on yourself, just be you, if you screw it up just learn from it, what is the worst that can happen, pratice makes perfect, go out and pratice talking to different women, you'll get the hang of it.
2006-09-16 20:16:48 · answer #8 · answered by bob w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, just like when you say you can do something like kissing a girl and it is a piece of cake. But when comes to doing it, you only could say i can't do it. Most people say things like that too.
2006-09-16 20:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because the universe is made to screw us over
2006-09-16 20:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by Harold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋