How did you come about your parenting style?

Question

How did you come about your parenting style? Were you influenced by your own parents? Did you just test techniques to see what worked/didn't work?

Answer 1

I now pretty much do the same as my own parents with my individual twists.

When I went to college I decided as a result of the pscychology and education classes that my parents were too strict--especially in that they spanked.

However, after I had my own--I decided they were not so stupid and old fashioned as I thought. And so a lot of things I do (and yes--including spanking) are the same as them.

Of course, I have had my own experiences with my own children and this has given me different views on some things than my parents had.

I have also read parenting books. But I do this very critically--as I do with any type of opinion I read. I have gathered a few good ideas there--but it is far from a dominant influence.

Answer 2

I started off horribly.. I was a yeller and screamer .. I had no patience and had too high of expectations ... Over time, I relaxed. I still raised my voice, but my expectations are with limits now and my patience has grown tremendously..

I think what helped the most was seeing other "bad" parents and noticing when I may have done some of those same things, recognized it and changed it immediately..

Now I know i am doing a great job and it shows in my child's intelligence, kindness and generosity..

Answer 3

I was single and 16 on my own, I knew my parents did a good job, but I wanted and do have a more open relationship with my kids, we talk about everything and I always let them know that I am here and they can tell me anything, if they don't feel like talking sometimes I bring it up first and if they don't answer i let it be, but I think just having them know that I know what kids go through and do gives them a sense of being more open with me. My kids can talk to me about anything and I will not judge them or put them down.

Answer 4

Late nights at Kmart-!!watching how other parents screamed and bribed their unruly offspring.LOL ..decided to read and read...hang out with people who DID handle kids well and listen to how they talked with their kids. When I was looking for daycare there happened to be a Montessori school near by and I put mine there. The teachers were so mellow and sweet I spent lots of time hanging around and listening. If I had just done what I was raised with..my kids would have run away, I'm sure!

Answer 5

Trial and error to start with. Found a good book about childhood emotional developement that helped me understand what I was up against. This made them easier to manage and satisfy.
We are all influenced by our parents. I have worked hard not to be my Dad. He's an intellectual genius and emotionally a child.

Answer 6

My parenting style came from my mother as she and I share the same values. I believe that parenting comes from an array of influences such as your parents and friends of whom you have admiration and respect.

Don't worry, your style will come instintively based on values and the influences of those you wish to emulate.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Both, When I was a child I swore I would be different then my parents, how ever, after seeing with my own eyes how bad society has become I fell right back into the company line.

Answer 8

My parenting style came alone. i didn't have a mom growing up so everything i know about parenting comes from reading, doctors, tv, and hands on experience.

Answer 9

When I was growing up, kids were seen & not heard, & you speak when spoken to. With my kids I made sure that they were allowed to have an opinion, right or wrong, they are entitled to it. I was very open and honest with my kids about everything, and I answered all thier questions honestly (age appropriate). I explained my reasons for punishments or for saying no to something, I followed through with punishments too, that's very important. We had fun, and lots of hugs too. Love em lots!

Answer 10

Some stuff I picked up from my parents, but I try not to treat my son like my parents treated us 4 kids. They were not very comforting, and they tended to call us names like stupid, and I am NOT going to do that to my children. I had 3 miscarriages before having my son and he almost died when he was born so I am lucky to have him and I want him to feel loved.