My friend's a really great girl - whom everyone sees as having no temper, sweet, pretty and really smart. She's broken up with this guy about two years ago. Now the guy is hitting on me and honestly, I am kind of interested. He has a good career and makes me laugh when I am with him. But I'm afraid of taking things further. I mean, there has to be other good reasons beyond the "not ready for marriage then" reason that led to his breakup with my friend in the first place? What should I do? I would like to be with him and at the same time, I don't dare to be with him. And please don't tell me to ask my gal friend about him -- I would feel so awkward!
2006-09-16 19:17:43 · 23 answers · asked by syrope 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I make it a habit not to involve myself with my friends ex's. If you value your friendship then it's not worth it. Its not clear who was not ready for marriage. If this is his statement he may just be looking for a lover not a relationship.However if you are just an associate of this great girl than it's on you. But in my experience it never works and friendships are ruined. If you all hang out as a group then it can really be an awkward situation for your friend to see you with her ex.
Good luck!
2006-09-16 19:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Davoc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The whole point of dating is to spend enough time with a person in a NON-COMMITTED relationship for each person to decide if they want to continue or move forward in that relationship. Two years is plenty of time to mature enough to think about maybe changing one's lifestyle. Not being ready for marriage "then" could also mean not ready to marry that particular person (in this case, your friend).
2006-09-17 02:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by Iwant2know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should date him especially if they were going to get married. Don't you think that is a little harsh on your part? She may even still have feelings for him in her own way still. I would stay distant from him. He could be using you to hurt her. I'm thinking you would probably feel uncomfortable dating him knowing he was in love with your friend. Forget him and find someone else. I'm sure your not that desperate to date your friends ex. Makes you look bad!
2006-09-17 02:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a stupid teen-like question, but did he dump her? If yes, she might be still broken-hearted about it. If they simply went separate ways, or she politely showed him the exit route, then she probably wouldn't care so much. "Not ready for mariage" is a nice way of saying "Hit the road, I have no obligations to explain it to you why I don't like you".
2 years is a long time.... Long enough to move on, one would think. In general, I'd say yes, date him. Mention something to her about possibility of dating him, see how she reacts.
2006-09-17 02:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it depends on how close you and your friend are.
I would find out how deep his feelings are for you, you say hes "hitting on you" well I wouldn't jump to conclusions, he could just be a flirter... and if thats the case then I wouldn't see any harm in flirting back. But, I would think long and hard about your friendship, although you may feel awkward about talking to her about him I would just hint around to her like for instance
" Is it tacky for friends to date each other's Ex's???" or make-up a scenario...seems corny but hey you'll never know how she feels unless you ask, directly or indirectly.
2006-09-17 02:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to your friend about the situation. If you two are real friends then you should be able to talk about everything. Find out what really happenned between them. Maybe he's a good guy. And if it didn't work out with your friend that just mean it wasn't meant to be. It doesn't mean something is wrong with him.
2006-09-17 02:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by vee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it seems that the only way you'd be able to date him without feeling guilty would be to ask your friend if it'd be ok with her. Other than that, you could not date him and still be curious, or date him and have your friend either accept it or be mad that you didn't think of seeing how she felt about it before you made your decision.
2006-09-17 02:19:59 · answer #7 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i know you don't want me to say it, so in other word that will come eventually, if you want to keep a good friendship w/her. but first sit down and talk with him, see what he has to say on the subject and u & him both want to date go ahead and have a 1st date w/him. nothing/no-one is stoping you from that. enjoy have fun. and if you really want it to keep going after that, you should tell your friend how you feel and hope she will be suportive. hope that helps and good luck. :)
~Carrie
2006-09-17 02:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by answering queen! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes your friend you are gonna have to find out if this will piss her off and then determine which is more important having him or having the friend its been 2 years she should be over him by now but she could still have issues about it but if you really want him and you see yourself having a lasting relationship take a chance.
2006-09-17 02:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is the best way to go.Me from excepting don't date your friends ex's.You loose one two many friends that way.I did!!So try and date someone else.please.
2006-09-17 02:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋