Jealousy....gutt feeling or lack in self esteem?

Question

We often share everything with the person we love and care about the most. From food, home, vehicle, deepest secrets, and well...who we are. Sometimes, I think we can often look too deep or not deep enough into that person we love. My fiance and I know so much about eachother, and maybe I know too much about him. He was once engaged with someone he was with for 6 years. He was honest with me in telling me he was not faithful to her numerous amount of times. I appreciate him so much for sharing these things with me, but now any time a beautiful young girl enters in our lives I have so many negative thoughts running around in my head. I don't like seeming as though I may not trust him. He hasn't done anything significantly wrong for me to not trust him. His sister and a close friend have both shared with me that they have never seen him the way he is with me towards any other girl. How do I over come this?

Answer 1

Since nothing is ever staying in one position. Anything you do have a positive or negative affect in attraction to him. jealousy is a negative. get ried of it.


24/Los Angeles
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."

Answer 2

Well first of all I would disregard anything his sister and close friend have to say...As close as you guys might be, they aren't going to come out and say, well yea, he likes you, but we don't think he likes you all that much...You have to keep that in mind. I know you want to believe they are being totally honest with you and maybe they are, but there is still that chance that they aren't and you have to realize that their loyalty lies with him...not you.


Now, you have every right to feel a little insecure with your relationship because you know his past experiences and you know he has cheated before with someone he planned to marry. However, that was a different time, he was probably a different person, probably has matured some and may actually like you more. So until you have more proof to go on other than what he has told you, just keep your eyes open as you always should, but don't think too much about it unless you have actual signs in your current relationship that tell you too!

Answer 3

i'm going through the same situation. jealousy isn't a gutt feeling or lack in self esteem it's a mental thought like when u see some beautiful girl u start to think all this bad stuff thats not true how my fiance and i deal with our jealousy is that we talk to each other about it. jealousy mostly comes from a fear of lossing something or someone thats really important to u in some way and the first thing that pops into ur head u think omg is that really going to happen but its not really going to happen at all. to over come this just sit and talk to ur fiance about it and how u feel it just might turn out he feels the same way u could also challenge urself to not think anything at all when u start to feel like that. hope this is of some help to u. good luck!

Answer 4

ever heard the term of letting the cat out of the bag you are thinking once a cheater always a cheater im affraid you guys have shared too much its okay to be open with your partner but they shouldnt know everything about you things may be different with you he might be more mature and more caring now you cant assume he will do the same hings he has done in the past. but since you have that info just keep your eyes opn for any signs of it. good luck with that

Answer 5

I wish I could help my fiance has admitted to cheated in past relationships also and I feel the same way you do and also I know he loves me more then anyone. I know with me I seem to be looking for something wrong in him because he's almost too perfect and maybe it's the same for you! Well when you find out let me know ok. Good Luck!

Answer 6

well sometimes is not good to be so communicative as he has been because by doing so it makes you feel insecure ....It is good to be alert always but it should be also like....innocent until they prove guilty ....just do not suffer for what is not happening ...you need to tell him that you feel sometimes insecure and you need him to assure you that he loves you ..more often than ever do not mention to him that because he told you about his past you are feeling insecure because this can stop him to trust you and be his confident...communication is the best via ....love him ...enjoy your relationship and do not see ghost where there's none .....you haven't seen anything you must not feel anything ...you understand just be happy and instead of have those thoughts make beatiful nights for him , create memories, good moments for whenever another woman show up ...he would have so much chains to break before he goes .....good luck

Answer 7

Being with someone for 6 years with lack of true committment. Sounds like a single guy.
Perhaps he got out all the play he wanted and either screwed it up with her, or she just wasnt the one. If he's been good with you, I dont see why youre having doubts. I wave my magic wand and say 'overcome' lol. Keep smiling girly and into the future. Quit looking back ok? :)

Answer 8

We all have skeletons in our closet. Me and my wife we spilled our guts to each other before we got married. We told each other about stuff we did that we weren't proud of. We didn't want anything creeping up on us later in life. My wife still has problems with a couple of girls she knows I was involved with and knows that some of them are at the same work place as mine. And would at times love to rip them apart. She says, she doesn't know why it bothers her either. But, she says she knows how much I love her. And that she doesn't make it point to think about it and we don't talk about it. She says as long as it's not brought to her attention she's ok.

Answer 9

let it go- and dont talk w/ each other about past relationships; it does nothing but create insecurity. KNOW that you are a great woman; and he is lucky to have you- and he knows it, too! Obviously he thinks the world of you as his sisters tell you- and the sisters love you & want him w/ you. chances are on your side!!!!trust me, sweetie; all of us girls go through it; just relax & dont let it bring you down!

Answer 10

Stupid People Here will tell You to trust Him. thats why people get cheated on. Because You trust them too much. Don't do It.
Go with Your Gut.