I am 13, and my dad just cheated on my mom. He left my mom for this slut then ditched me and my brothers and sisters. My mom now has to take care of all of my 2 sisters and 3 brothers plus me. You would think he would pay child support for my mom! But no! He went to prison 3 weeks ago for doing/selling illegal drugs. I cried for days and days. I still cry at awkward moments and I can't help it. My family is a total reck. My mom doesn't do anything but go to work, come home, then sleep. We all have to take care of ourselves and she has lost her.....spunk, I guess. My brothers are now all smoking since my dad LEFT 4 months ago. Then, when we found out he was going to prison, my twin sister and me quit all the sports and activities we are in because we don't have good enough grades to focus on class and sports. We are really falling apart. The only normal person in our house would be my 1 1/2 year old sister!!! My life is terrible and I have a fealing it's gona get only WORSE!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 18:57:37 · 20 answers · asked by P!ATD GIRL! Luvn Brendon Urie! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You sound like a bright you man so let me give it to you straight.
While your father being incarcerated and leaving the family is bad its not the end of the world. This should make you more determined to succeed in life and not end up like him. You should
devote yourself to your school work. Education can never be taken from you and without it you could very easily end up in the same place your dad is now. Once you get your grades back up you need to get back into sports. Being involved in team sports teaches alot of life lessons that will benefit you later on. My parents divorced when I was in the 3rd grade. I played football in middle and high school, was on the wrestling and track teams. You are only going to be young once so make the best of it. Talk to you sister and convince her to stay involved in school sports and activities and to concentrate on her grades. I wish you all the best.
2006-09-16 19:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by d b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's not going to be easy, Savannah. The thing you must realize at this point is that your parents are both human. Your dad already made some pretty serious errors in judgment and your mom is likely to make some mistakes of her own over the next several months.
When I was a kid and times were bad in my house, I used to read my books and listen to the stereo in my room. I escaped with books and it worked. My sisters and I did stick together, but when the sh*t was going down in the living room or the kitchen, I headed for my room where my books and my music were. Focus on the positive stuff that can help you feel better because you are really going to need it. You will also need to escape mentally and emotionally and books are the safest way to do that without the crash that follows other forms of escape.
Lastly, you and your siblings all need to be very careful right now and keep an eye on each other. Right now is when predators may try to entice you to take drugs or to engage in sexual acts. Watch each other closely.
I'm sorry this is the best I got, but it worked for me when I was younger. You may also want to head to your grandparents' house and talk to them. That was another thing I did, became very good friends with my Grandma.
Good luck and God Bless ya'
2006-09-16 19:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by David R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Savannah,
You can make it through this. I know it is hard. You have to get help. I speak to you from experience. My father and stepfather were both drug dealers. I was around both of them growing up. It was a horrible life. I never knew what to expect. I got help and you can get help also.
Is there any adult in your life that you can trust, say for instance your grandmother, school counselor or a family friend. An adult that has a healthy lifestyle? If so, ask them to help you find and go to a support group if your mom can't take you.
There are online communities for youth in your situation. You can do a yahoo search for "children of prisoners", "support groups for kids" or "children", or "youth" etc. Narcotics anonymous and Naranon. Don't stop looking until you find something that is comfortable for you.
http://www.nar-anon.org/naranongroups.htm
http://www.prisonersoflove.com/community.html
You are not alone. There are many families suffering just like yours. Please do not be discouraged even though I know it is very hard. You can make it. Don't look for a quick fix, take your time, get some help and grow to be all that you can be.
Sometimes non profit organizations and churches have programs for families. Find out if there are any in your area. Sometimes Hospitals have groups like Naranon which is for family members of people involved with drugs.
I am very proud of you for reaching out for help.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
2006-09-16 20:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all I'm sorry about your situation. What you have learned, at a very early age that not everybody are the way they should or they way you want them to be. Forget about your Dad. let him burn for the stupid crap he has done. as far as your brothers, there's not much you can do, you 13 not 30. As far as you and your twin sister, maybe the best thing to focus on your studies and sports. it will give you a great release. please just know that your Mom is tired from working and doing her best since your dad wanted to be a "tool"and leave you guys. You also may have to pitch in and help with the baby sister as well. I know its alot to take on for someone so young such as your self and your sister.But this is a life lesson and sometimes you just gotta deal. I hope everything works for you and your family. If you work at it, it can only get better. Trust and have faith.
2006-09-16 19:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by luciousbbwkitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all I am sorry about the way life is treating you, you are soooo young. Honey, life is hard, and it may get worse, but life will get worse before it gets better. Trust me, it will get better. Do you believe in God? If so, honey get a bible read it when you can, and just pray, pray for your family, school, your goals in life, pray everyday for things to get better no matter what. Go to church every once in awhile. I know it hurts, but you can't keep thinking about what your dad did to the family, because it will only bring you down, and life is too short for you to be depressed and not happy. Encourage your brothers in a calm respectful way to stop smoking. Talk to your mother more, spend time with your family as much as possible. You don't know when somebody is gonna leave you. Continue to go to school and do well, and show your dad how wonderful you are without him. When you and your family get the strength again, sue him for child support. Dont drown yourself in your tears, you will look back on this day, and ask yourself why you wasted your tears on this man. Beat him with success and kindness. And remember, he is still your dad, we can forgive...but that is up to you.
2006-09-16 19:22:06 · answer #5 · answered by sweettart05921 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life, events occur that are beyond our control. When this happens all we can do is resolve to do the best we can. Even though life has "thrown you a curve ball" you can, and will, make it. I know it seems really difficult right now, but you will. But you have to tell yourself, I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS RUIN MY LIFE! As bad as it seems, and is, you should still try to keep a positive outlook. Another important thing is to develop a social support group; these are the people who will help you through the really tough times. Your close friends, your siblings, anyone who you feel comfortable talking to, and will listen, can be a part of this group. Talk to them, cry with them, share your feelings. And most of all, remember, you're never alone and it will get better. If you need someone to listen, feel free to message me.
2006-09-16 19:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by Michael H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something that happens everyday darling. It's life. It's hard and heart wretching when it happens to you and you find yourself saying why me. But why not you? This is trial you and your family have to go through, and it's something that you can do.
I'm sorry your dad's in prison, but that fact is not going to change. It seems to me that you all just want to lay down and die. Give up everything. Stop living, Stop enjoying life. Be more positive. Mom's tired and is trying to keep it together. You and your sibiling need to stop wallowing in self pity and help mom out. Stop giving her more to worry about. Help out around the house.
Take control of your life again. You enjoyed sports before, they haven't change. Enloy them again. Get your education and do your best, "because your best gets better."
I may sound harsh but this is coming from a mom who's daughter father went to prison when she was entering the 2nd grade and did not get out till she was in the 12th.
2006-09-16 19:11:08 · answer #7 · answered by CLE CLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi…
I’m sorry for all the sh*t you are going through.
Thirteen is a hard enough age without having all that extra crap thrown in on top of it !!!
If you don’t mind, I am going to try to answer a few of your questions all in one here…
You don’t have a boyfriend…
Don’t let that concern you. No it does not mean you are not normal, or that you are socially incapable.
Chances are, that Mr Right just hasn’t woken up to the fact that you are Miss Right !!!
‘Smoking’ is addictive… No, it is not fine !
You mentioned in this question that your brothers are smoking.
In an earlier question, you mentioned you were smoking to help you relieve stress.
Hell, I can understand you wanting to do that, but be careful with the smoking OK, because it is addictive.
The guys who are trying to bribe you into showing your t*ts have no intention of paying you a damn thing.
Don’t fall for their crap !!!
The problems you are having with ‘not being able to sleep’ are related to the stress that you are feeling in your life. It is perfectly understandable.
Make an appointment to see a doctor, and ask if he/she can recommend something non-addictive to help you sleep.
You need to stay strong, OK…
Believe in yourself… you are something really special !!!
Try to help your mum as much as you can with things like keeping the house clean.
Find out what Community Groups are in your area that can help your family.
There is nothing wrong or shameful about asking for help when you need it !!!
Try to cut back on the ‘smoking’ if you are still doing it, and get your brothers to stop also.
It is very harmful to your health. I’ve been addicted to it for more than 40 years, and I know damn well it is killing me !!!
Concentrate on your schooling, and aim for those high grades, OK.
They’ll count for an awful lot, later in life !!!
Have a word to you mum to make sure she knows how you are feeling, and ask her if she can organise some family counselling.
Hopefully it will help you all to deal with things a bit better.
Hang in there, darlin…
Things will start getting better !!!
2006-09-16 18:59:53 · answer #8 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please tell your family doctor or the school nurse about this. They will be able to tell you who to go to who can help out with some of these very tough and painful problems. It sucks when adults who should love you and be responsible let you down like this. It's okay to be really upset and frustrated about it. If the doctor and nurse don't find enough help for you, look in the phone book and call the local social services department at your town or county office building to ask for more help.
God bless you kids and your mom, I'm rooting for you. Here's a hug for you! {{{{{}}}}}}
2006-09-16 19:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
.i know its terrible but life goes on regardless, i really feel for your mum.maybe if you have older siblings they can get some sort of work after school and if you guys contribute around the house that would make it easier on your mum as well. and if money is really tight each of you (excluding bubs) could give something up that cost the family money,e.g. magazines,lollies, clothes that are only for keeping up with others,maybe drop one sport if you do a few.
your mum needs time to find herself again and come to terms with the separation....she will become herself again it just takes time. unless she seems to be super depressed and if that is the case you and your siblings could suggest seeing someone to talk it out.
im sorry that you all have to go through that but many families do now.if you kids aren't coping see your school counsellor. good luck.
2006-09-16 19:15:17 · answer #10 · answered by butterfly*effect 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋