Why am I like this?

Question

My mother in law got onto me yesterday when we were shopping. I bought each of my 2 girls 2 pajama outfits, 2winter outfits and their halloween costumes. I went out today and bought them 2 more outfits (all these clothes are for christmas; I found them on sale). My mother in law was saying that I need to quit buying for my kids all the time and that I should start buying for myself. The thing is, it makes me so much happier to buy for them than to buy for myself. If I'm out of make-up, most likely I'd see something that one of the girls would like so I buy it instead. Why does this happen? My kids are my life and I would do anything for them. It makes me happy but it seems other people don't do this. Does anyone else do this?

Sparksalost, they are growing out of their old ones. I want them in clothes that fit. As far as garage sales, I o that all summer. My kids are set for clothes for next summer, but don't really have many winter clothes.

My kids are 17 months and 29 months....

I bought myself a new pair of shoes yesterday, new outfit a month ago, new jeans the month before that....I don't like splurging on myself.

Answer 1

It is none of her business what you buy. If it makes you happy, then do it. Just try not to deny yourself everything! I am going through the same thing, I want to buy stuff for my 5 month old, and I almost feel guilty if I buy myself something. So I compromise, I buy myself what I need, and also get her stuff too. I used to be a total shopaholic that needed intervention, was addicted to buying bags and shoes. I even had to get a personal bag monitor, a friend I had to ask permission from in order to buy a bag! I have not bought a bag in a year (unless you count the mini diaper bag!). I did buy myself a pair of shoes for work (on sale!). I find that I often forget what I went to the store to get for myself like today, I needed planner pages and pantyhose, and ended up buying a pacifier keeper and forgetting my stuff! Somehow, stuff for me just doesn't seem that important anymore, but I make myself buy some nice smelling shampoo, and it made me feel great!

P.S. My mom still buys stuff for me and my brother, and even my dad before she buys for herself. I am 31 and my brother is 27. It is called being a good mommy.

Answer 2

It's called being a mom. When you have a child they become the most important thing in your life. I do the same thing and my kids are 22 and 19. It makes me feel good to buy things for them that know they will like. You want to know something else? Wait until you have a grandchild. Look out, you buy things for them all the time and still don't buy for yourself. Do like I do, hit the garage sales and second hand shops for clothes and use your money to do what you want. If you want to spend it on your kids then thank your mother in law and tell her that you are happy doing things your way.

Answer 3

forgive me, but I find this very funny
Here's the thing - your mother in law is looking out for you and that's sweet BUT
maybe she just thinks you are buying too much stuff for your kids? maybe she thinks your clothing is shabby and consequently you are not looking your best for her son....
this of course is all speculation
the funny part (I think) is that in our culture - and it's very sad - we spend WAY too much money on ourselves and our kids. How many pairs of pyjamas does a kid need? and what's wrong with putting your kid in colourful old clothes, painting their face and tying towel around their shoulders for halloween - why do we feel the need to have our children look perfect all the time?
take the money and buy yourself one or two new outfits and some new makeup THEN take the rest every time you feel the urge and invest it in your children's future- EDUCATION wise, you can't go wrong.
kids grow too fast - buy 2nd hand and make do - it teaches them to be frugal and also that they can't instantly have the best or brand new all the time.

Answer 4

You know what, I do the same thing. I would rather buy my daughter something than myself. By the time she was born, she had enough clothes to last her till she was 1, and I still bought her more after she was born.
Who cares about those people who say that you are teaching your kids that material things are too important. They are your kids. You know, at least you aren't neglecting them like some parents do.
Buy away!!

Answer 5

i'm sorry i'm not a parent but i think i can help a little because i have friends in their 20's with kids. they say that they love seeing how happy their kids get when they get something new, and they spend all their time buying for them. They just get distracted by things for their kids that they forget about what they actually needed to buy for themselves. I'd say that you care about your kids very very much and just want to see them happy, so you'd buy them whatever they want or need. But beware of buying for them to much. i dont know how old your girls are, but they may get a bit spoiled and start asking for everything, knowing you'll buy it. but anyway, you arent the only one who does this, so dont feel alone.

Answer 6

I also love buying people gifts more than I like recieving them, I'll actually use my giftcards to buy people presents for their birthday after Christmas. I think your mother-in-law is worried that you are maybe spoiling your children by constantly buying them gifts. Maybe she is worried that you aren't teaching them to appreciate the value of their stuff because you randomly buy them things instead of making them use allowance money (I'm not sure how old your kids are, but most can comprehend money in elementary school). Maybe you should ask her what she means, after all, she is the one who raised the guy you liked enough to marry.

Answer 7

you have to buy for yourself sometimes, it is your gift to yourself for doing what you do to raise your kids. However it is okay to buy for kids most of the time but if they need things. if it is just random things, then they are different. you can't pass up sales everyone knows that. I'm the same way. don't worry, nothing is wrong but do start to buy for youself sometimes, it's your treat. Ignore your mother in law, she is probably just jelous cuz you're not buying for her or because she wants to be the one to buy things for your kids. lol

Answer 8

Buying clothes is great and on sale better. I think your MIL was trying to get you to see you need new clothes yourself. Buy yourself some new outfits or jeans, fall/winter clothes.

Answer 9

I suggest you follow your mother in laws advice. Start spending a little money on yourself, it will work wonders for your self esteem, as well as attitude and could put a little "spark" in your marriage as well. It's fine to want your children well dressed but give family members a chance to dote on them as well. Like for Christmas, give aunts/uncles and grandparents their sizes and let them purchase clothing for the kids as well.

Answer 10

i also end up buying things for my kids instead of myself and so do a lot of my friends. it's part of being a mother although i do try to make it a point to buy something for myself about once a month so i don't take myself for granted. that is very important. treat yourself once in awhile. we mothers deserve that. but don't stop doing things for your children, especially if they are grateful about what they receive.