Now I'm Stuck!!!?

Question

I just asked a question a 1/2 hour ago about my friend wanting to plan my wedding..everyone said exactly what i was feeling....BUT i already told her what i would pay her to do it....now i feel as though if she was my friend she would do it because she wants to...how do i tell her that i don't really want her to plan it now..All this is making me want to go and ELOPE!!!I would value her input....but if she still wants to do it i'm not paying her..

Answer 1

Just tell her that you really appreciate her help, but in your experience when money gets involved, the friendship suffers. She's such a good friend that you don't want to risk her friendship. Also, say that you talked it over with your fiance and you both decided that it would be better to hire a professional wedding planner. But her advice and input would be appreciated.

Answer 2

Tell her gently how you feel. Maybe take her to a coffee shop or something and have a long serious talk. Don't focus on her, but instead make it sound like it's finances or something that is making you change your mind.

"I know I said that I would hire you to plan our wedding, but the more we look at our budget, the more we feel it's not practical. If you paid you X amount, then it would take away from the other things we want to do. I would still love to have you as a part of my wedding as a bridesmaid, and I would still love your input, advice, and help. I just don't want to take advantage of you by having you plan the whole thing when we won't be able to pay you what you are worth."

Or something like that. You want her to feel that she is a close friend. You value her, you care about her, you want her to be in your wedding and your life. You just don't want to pay her money for it. If she offers her services at a lower price, then let her know as nice as possible that you and your fiance already decided that you will not be paying anyone to plan your wedding so that you can afford to spend more on the ceremony and reception that you want.

Answer 3

I didn't respond to that question yet since I saw you put this one.

I think you should just go for coffee or something and tell her that the more you thought about it, you and your fiance decided you two are not sure exactly what you two want in your wedding enough to have it be planned. Explain you and him want to do more research and go with the flow at this moment. Instead of having a planner, it might be more easier that you and your fiance make the arrangements as you both decide if that is what you want. Since it would be cheaper (weddings these days can cost an arm and leg) and defiantly can relieve some stress off her (and yourself).

So in a way, you can leave a lot of truth (now that is if a valid reason) but have a reason enough to say that her planning it isn't a good idea.

About if she wants to continue to do it still?

Just tell her that you are grateful she is in good spirits about it and am happy she isn't upset. Just say that any advice or thoughts are welcome in her research and you will look into what ever she comes up with.

So, you can still value her input, but that is pretty much as far as it gets.

Answer 4

A good friend will understand (even if she has hurt feelings, initially, she'll get over it). If your friend comes at you harsh, then that's just your confirmation that you were better off not having her plan in the first place. It's your wedding, your day. Whether she's married or not, a REAL friend will understand what you're up against with all you have to do to prepare for this. Maybe you can ask her to "consult" and/or be your right-hand-(wo)man instead. That way, she'll still be a part, but you won't have to pay and sacrifice a friendship. Hope this helps. Congrats & Good Luck!

Answer 5

I eloped to Gatlinburg last year and I would do it again. It was the easiest thing to do. There was no fighting over who was going to do what. The staff at the chapel took care of absolutely everything. All we had to do was show up with our clothes and walk down the aisle. We booked the chapel and told everyone when and where. It was perfect.
You should do whatever you want to do. This is your wedding and it should be what you and your partner want. Good luck!

Answer 6

Just ask her to help you plan it if she still wants to be part of it. Tell her you had a change of heart and want to plan your wedding and with the expense of the wedding itself you cant afford to pay her. It is your wedding afterall and you have the right to do it however you please. As a friend to you she should understand that.

Answer 7

I have answered your previous question, I don't think that you will feel in Stuck!!
However,
If she is a really friend she hasn't be upset to let you happy in your wedding.. just tell her your feeling and your decision "if you decide" and remember your wedding in once in the whole life, so it should be wonderful without any defects.

Go ahead do what you want to do its your day..

Answer 8

Just tell her nicely that you've changed your mind and you want to plan it yourself or are thinking of eloping and that you are grateful that she would do such a great thing for you.

Or just tell her that you can't really afford to pay her but would love her input anyway.

Answer 9

tell her with the expenses of the wedding you cant afford to pay her and that you value her input so if she wants she can help you decide how things should be

Answer 10

Just tell her that you changed your mind. No big deal. Tell her that you decided that planning it yourself would be important to you and part of the memories of the wedding. You have decided that you want to handle the details personally.