i cry every weekend sometimes,it's so unfair, im'going crazy!?

Question

i luv my mom but sometimes she makes me so made that i cry cause i can not go out and even if i try,she gets kind of mad! even for a couple of hours or one time i was out side like two houses from my house just talking to my friend and she came over and told me to come inside it's 8 and dark. i was 16 a junior in high school. Now i am a senior and i still can't go out. i do the same thing is watch t.v go on the internet homework. and my brothers call me a loser, i have no friends to hang around with. my brother goes out and drinks! and my little brother gets to go out and hes 14 yrs old. i am 18 and can't go out .Every weekend is the same, i am very obediant and i hate this.i stay home and watch my little brother leave who is failing 3 classes, and my older brother leaves with the truck to some party. i am at home with my parents. i never been to a school game, dance, i became so antisocial and shy. anyone has mother like this she not bad mother but i just can't go out,

Answer 1

I'm sorry, that sucks!! My life sounds kind of like yours. I just moved to NC and have to live with my mother again, and she always goes out and does stuff with her stepfather while I have to stay at home and do chores and things. My mom was kind of like that when I was younger, too, because I had health problems. Sometimes parents don't understand that we have to be around people our own age, and have some FUN, or else we'll be depressed/sad/etc.

If your mother won't listen, maybe you should talk to a counselor at school or something? Or your dad, if he is around? Sometimes girls have it harder than guys do, because sometimes adults think that girls will be taken "advantage of" even if we know how to handle things in a responsible manner.

I hope things improve, good luck.

Answer 2

Maybe she's concerned for you, being a girl. Obviously she thinks your brothers are ok. Have you talked to her, as an adult, not a victim-teenager? She may be able to tell you something or at least see you're making an effort and trust you.

Be obedient, that's the mature thing to do. When you look back in a few years, you can feel good knowing you did the right thing instead of regrets and possibly damaging your relationship with your mom.

My relationship with my parents got better gradually after I moved out (wait til you're done w/hs) because they saw they had no say when I lived on my own and paid for my own college education.

Good luck, sweetie. You only have this school year left to hang on. After that, get a new life and a new self esteem when you (not your mom) can choose who you are and where you go.

Answer 3

Whoa! Your mom clearly underestimates your ability. Perhaps she feels that since she cannot control her boys, at least she can take care of her daughter.

But this dynamic is really damaging your self esteem! You are also being taught a horrid double standard, that bad behaviour is acceptable in men and all you can do about it is sit at home.

Talk with your mom, and point out that you have not betrayed her confidence in you. Find out if she was sheltered or a real wild child with many regrets. She may even have been assaulted, even though she may not admit it.

A councilor is your best bet. They can help you discover tools to deal with your mom. You can heal the pain.

If your mom relents, come home early a few times. She will feel better.

Where's your dad in all of this? Maybe you can ask him for help.

Moving out is a big step. If you've never even left the house after dark, moving out is a little like learning to swim in the deep end. Build your confidence first, try to work it out with Mom, and perhaps she'll understand how she's hurting her daughter, not helping her.

Be prepare to move out though. You are an adult now, sweetie. You need to stand up for yourself.

Answer 4

I think that is soo unfair and that you should definetily discuss some of these emotions you are having with your mother. You are after all almost a legal adult. Some of the things your mother is doing to you my mother tried to do to me too, but my situation is that it definetly had a much more adverse affect on me. It turned me completely rebellious to the point where I ran from all the problems my mother and I were facing, that does not solve anything honey. Believe you me. I am now a 20 yr old mother of 2 and the relationship I have with my mother is strained. Now I am not saying that this could happen to but it is a small possiblilty. So get talking to your mother about your rights to have a social life and freedom that every teenager is entitled to K? and cheer up hon things will get better soon:)

Answer 5

Okay, first of all you say you are 18....what makes you think you cannot go out? If you go out is she going to kick you out of the house? Ridiculous!! Why is she allowing your brothers to act this way, but you aren't allowed to go anywhere? Have you sat down and talked with your Mom one on one and told her how you feel? The only alternative you have is to spread your wings and go out anyway, after all you are 18 and at this age you are considered an adult....in other words she cannot stop you. I personally would not allow her to make you feel like you are going crazy...have you talked with a school counselor about any of this? That might be a first step.......she has protected you to the point that now that you can be on your own you will not know how as you have not been prepared for it. She is doing it because you are allowing her to......she is going to have to realize that you are an adult now and NEED to start thinking for yourself in order to take care of yourself.

Answer 6

My mom was something like that when I was young, but I told her that I was nearly grown and had never been to a social event. She might be worried about all of the things that happen to teens these days, but you have to let her know subtlely. Show her that you're responsible enough to go out and do things. And if that doesn't work, move out when you hit 18, 19 yrs old.J/k

Answer 7

well for me it was my dad not my mom but sometimes so would be the same way. but i Finlay had it not having a life so i sunk out of bed room window. i did it a couple of times then i got caught. and told them I'm sick of just sitting around doing nothing. they still wouldn't let me out. so i walked out right in front of them. and i just kept walking to my friends house. i made shur they couldn't find me. they Finlay had enough with me doing that all the time. so now i am aloud out to do whatever i want. but that's sad tho u have never been to a game or dance it has chaperone's there did u tell them that. just try to stand up for yourself and bring in what u see with ur brothers. thats what i did when i was about 16 i just kept fighting it. now im 18 and i just tell them if i cant go out then im leaving the house. tell them what u fell mybe they will let u out sometimes and ask them why u cant go out of the house an why can ur brother's. hope u can go out soon!!!

Answer 8

Your mother seems to be of the opinion that you cannot take care of yourself as well as your brothers can unfortunatly. My suggestion would e to sit her down and have a quiet talk about all of this with her.

You are very lucky that your mother cares enough about you to watch what you are doing, some of us do not have that luxury. Count your blessing sweety, they won't always be around to help.

Answer 9

Your 18? Move out.

Answer 10

I feel for you. You know what you got to do, when you graduate move out or go away to school. Your Mom is being overly protective.