gimme ur best joke or best jokes?

Question

Best joke er jokes

Answer 1

A doctor wants to go hunting. He calls his secretary, Johnny, and tells him, "Ya Johnny, I'm going hunting tomorrow; we don't want to close the clinic so I ask you to take care of our patients."

Yes, sir......" answers Johnny.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks: "So, Johnny, how was your day?"

Johnny tells him he took care of 3 patients. The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.

"Bravo! Ya Johnny, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Johnny.

"Bravo! bravo! Ya Johnny, you're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was seated and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like flame; she undresses herself, takes off her bra and her panties and sleeps on the table and shouts: "HELP ME! For 5 years I have not seen any man !!!!!!!"

"And what did you do ya Johnny?" asks the doctor.

Johnny said: "I put eye drops in her eyes!!!! . . . . . . . "

Answer 2

A new psychiatrist was getting a tour of all the wards at his new post at the mental hospital from a senior Dr. The older doctor told him he could look around and talk to whoever he wanted.

In the first ward he sees a man swinging his arms in a motion similar to a golf swing. the young doctor goes up to him and asks: "Excuse me sir, may I ask what you are doing?"

The man replies: "I'm practicing my golf swing; I'm going to be a golf pro when I get outta here." The young doctor nods and moves on to the next ward.

In the next ward the young doctor sees a man swinging his arms as if holding a bat. The young doctor decides to see what this guy is doing. "Excuse me sir, but may I ask what you are doing?"

The man replies: "I am practicing my batting skills; I'm gonna be a professional baseball player when I get outta here." The young doctor nods and moves on to another ward.

In the next ward the young doctor sees a naked man sitting in a corner. As he gets closer he sees that the man is jerking off with a walnut shell on the end of his dick. The young doc just has to know what this guy is up to. "Excuse me sir, may I ask what you are doing?"

The man replies: "I'm f@#king nuts and never getting out of here!"

Answer 3

life without u is impossible.. u r n my breath n blood.. i can't spend a sec without u.. b 4 u left me i'll die.. 0oye hell0oo i m talking abt oxygen ;) hahahaha.......

Friends r like mirrors
they are our reflection
you r damn lucky I look good !!!!



When i call you..
1. Ringing means i m thinking u.
2. Ringing means i like u.
3. Ringing means i miss u.
4. Ringing means i need u.
5. Ringing means pick up phone idiot



Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache

Answer 4

Okay, so there is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all steal lotion from a lotion store. But the police start to follow them so they go to a potato factory and hide in potato sacks. Then, the policeman goes and knocks on the first sack, which the redhead is in and she goes "woof woof" and he says "oh just a stupid dog" then he goes to the second one and knocks on it (which the redhead is in) and she says "meow meow" and he says "oh just a stupid cat" and then he goes to the last sack (which the blonde is in and knocks on it........ and she goes "PO-TA-TO" !!LOL!!

Answer 5

when the world was born Leaf Ericson said, "Timmy fell down the well! He sharted his pants and killed!"