What is wrong with me?

Question

I don't think I'm an attractive girl. For some reason I become really angry if anyone says or implies that I'm pretty. I do well in school and would rather be thought of as smart than pretty. Can girls be both smart and pretty? Who are? I also hold grudges if someone tries to fix me up or calls my friend and I a "cute couple." As much as I try to forgive them, I can't. It might be for these reasons that I can't get a date. Some people believe that guys are scared of me and wouldn't ask me out for that reason. I am considering going to a school dance at the end of the month, but I have a strong feeling that I'd be a wallflower and waste my evening. I'd really love to enjoy my last year of high school so I need some advice on how to correct my errors. I am in high school so I understand if some people think that my problem is immature or childish (which it is), but I still want advice so that I can be happy for my senior year. If you want free points, please don't attack me.

Answer 1

Ok so I completely understand where you are coming from. .. I'm sorta.. or rather used to be like that. I really don't think of myself as pretty, and I know I'm smart, so I thought like that, but a recently discoverd that not thinking of myself as pretty isn't being smart.. Heres how that works:
Whether you think of yourself and pretty or not, you'll always look the same way, its just, the way things are, and if you always think of yourself as unattractive then you're going to be miserable, so here are your options
a)Be miserable, and look how you look
b)Be happy and look how you look

Somehow, the latter choice is more appealing. Now to make a dance funand still look good (WHICH YOU DO) you have to a)Get dressed up as much as you want, whether you are going over board or not B)Don't wear makeup, school dances get hot and the makeup looks crappy at the end of the night c)Don't use hair spray, when you dance with a guy AND YOU WILL because thats my mission for you, they don't want to touch stiff hair and smell your hairspray d)Make sure you have a touch of lipgloss on, just cause the lights catch it and make it shine, really adds o your smile and e)Don't care what anyone thinks of you because thenyou'll worry about that the whole night instead of being yourself.

Now tosolve your I don't look good I dont like people telling me I look good issue
If a guy asks you out and tells you you look pretty, look at them and say thank - you and also tell them straight up if thats all you're here for leave now because there is more to me. If a friend compliments you, take it AS a compliment, because thats what it is, its a comment that is supposed to make you feel good. What your issue is, is you thinkif you accept that you look pretty guys will be after you for your beauty and not your brian, but by getting mad at people for complimenting you, well that doesnt make your looks go away.

I've found the key to happiness is not worrying so much what other people think of myself, because then you don't worry about the things that matter, like yunno havign a life and what you think of yourself. IF you love yourself and know you're smart then that's all that matters, not anything else, your life is yours.

Maybe you have issues with a commitment, or maybe you don't want someone to see you.. You would probably rather fall in love with someone without you two ever lookign at eachother, and let me tell you, thats a really good thing, but what would be the point of eyes if you couldn't see beauty in things, you're only in highschool, don't get o worked up, you have a whole life to do that.
-Elle

Answer 2

Are you happy with the way you are? It seems like you are only trying to please others. Do you wish you could be different or do you only wish people would be happy with the way you are?

Everyone is different. You don't have to change who you are to be happy for your senior year. You just have to decide to be happy with who you are right now. Do you think you would enjoy the dance if you were less of a wallflower? Or maybe you would just be happier doing something else. I remember going to a dance once and being totally bored. I never went to another dance until my senior prom and I was totally bored there too. I was always happy with who I was even though I was not what everyone else thought I should be. You can be happy and have a great time being yourself. Changing who you are will not make you happy. Just have fun with your friends. Do the things you think are fun, and if that seems odd or different than everyone else who cares? Being yourself is the only way to be happy.

Answer 3

Well at your age most guys don't give a lick how smart you are or for that matter anything at all that is not based off apperence.
I am of cource generalizing there are a fue hear and there so for the time just blow it off becasue that is not going to to away anytime soon. Yes a girl can be pritty and smart but the really smart ones figure out that if the dumb them selfs down to the general pubic they can use the combanation to there advantage.

Answer 4

You are feeling shy.

Don't get irritated by other people's comments.

Of course you can be smart and pretty. Most of the smart women and girls I know are pretty. I think that you need to stop worrying about this. It may be time to see a counselor. Talk to your parents about your feelings.

Answer 5

You may be quite lovely on the outside, but your bitter anger is going to show through and turn people away from you.

Smile more, engage in idle chat and just lighten up and enjoy life.

Actually, guys are sometimes afraid of smart good looking girls. Mainly because they can't handle rejection. so be gental :)

Answer 6

Chill out. If you are as high strung as you sound, you will have a terrible senior year. Go to the dance even if you think you will be a wall flower. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Answer 7

It's possible for a girl to be both pretty and smart. I know I am. And when people call you pretty, it's not an insult and they're not calling you stupid, it's just a compliment.

Answer 8

1-GO WITH THE FLOW AND LET PEOPLE SAY NICE THINGS.
2-IF PEOPLE THINK YOUR PRETTY YOU MUST BE.
3-THINK POSITIVE.
IF YOU DONT DO THESE THINGS PEOPLE MAY STAY AWAY FROM YOU. PEOPLE LIKE TO BE AROUND A POSITIVE PERSON. I ONCE SAW A COUPLE THAT BOTH HAD FACIAL DEFORMATIES,AND EACH TOLD THE OTHER THAT THEY WERE CUTE.

Answer 9

save your thinking for class work. Life is what happens while your thinking. Live Life don't think about, go to the dance, don't think about why something or someone. Say, I would like to dance, would you? let someone else do the thinking. have fun!

Answer 10

If you feel attractive, then you are. yes, you can be smart AND attractive. you probably have low self esteem and can't take complements because you feel that doing so would make you conceted and cheap. Get some counciling.