Father/Stepfather down aisle?

Question

I recently posted a question about having my stepfather walk me the first half of the way, then handing me off to my father to have him walk me the rest of the way. i wondered what my stepfather should do once he hands me to my father. Most people said to have them both walk me the entire way. I dont think my dad would be comfortable with that, and I feel that my father should be the one to actually give me away. I honestly hated my stepfather for many years of my life, and have only recently become close to him.

Any opinons on this->
Having my mom and stepfather walk me the first half of the way, then hand me to my father.

If I did this, would my mom and stepdad walk the rest of the way in front of us, while we waited, then walked the 2nd half....so they would already be up there when we reached the front? or would they follow behind us?

For some reason, I don't like the idea of following behind. I feel like the bride should be the last person down the aisle. Opinons?

Thanks!

I am not really close to my biological father...but there is nothing negative about our relationship, or no reason I would choose to not have him walk me down the aisle.

My stepfather has been there for me a lot in the past few years, and I know he really cares about me. (He also told my mom it's my weddng and I'm the bride and I can do whatever I want when she complained that I told her what color dress she had to wear...so he get some points for that! HAHA) Him and my mom have also supported me financially. I feel he should play SOME part.

Some of you may have a good point though...maybe he would just expect my dad to do it. I suppose I could see what my moms thoughts are on that.

Also, not sure if it matters--
but my mom and stepfather are paying for the entire wedding (which is a destination wedding in Jamaica-so keep in mind, we're not traditional at all), as well as the reception we are going to have back home. I'm not sure yet, but I really doubt my real dad will pay for any of it. I'm actually pretty sure he'll complain about having to pay for himself to go to Jamaica.

My dad is not remarried (someone had mentioned that in an answer).

Answer 1

I have a similar situation in that I can't chose whether or not I should have my Dad walk me down the isle or my Mom and stepdad. I've decided that I'd walk down the isle by myself, after the flower girls and ring bearer walk down. Then once I get to the first pew, my Mom, stepdad and Dad are going to stand up and "give me away" to my husband-to-be.

Answer 2

If you feel that is what you want to do, then that is what you want to do. Either way, it still is allowing all sets of parents being able to be apart of your wedding day. They shouldn't complain at all due to that.

As far as being in front or back while walking. I do agree with you that the parents should walk ahead and the bride should be last down the aisle. Which would look really nice and the attention can be kept on you. Too many people and transactions can cause a loss of attention. Remember that.

Maybe give yourself some room from your bridesmaids and all so they are done looking at all them, then do the transaction a little slow for camera and pictures as well to get a good still shot (as I know some people who like to do so).

Both your step father and your father has both had impact in your life. Good and bad. However, it seems what happened in the past is mended if getting along good now. I think it would be neat to have both in it. If your father really cares about your happiness, he will step aside and allow another man, besides your husband to be, to help walk you down too. After all, he also raised you part of your life just as much as your bi logical dad.

If you feel you want both in the wedding, then do as you please. Don't worry about the opinions of others. It is YOUR wedding and you do what you feel is right for your special day.

Answer 3

I am not in favor of your stepfather handing you off to your father, because think of what that represents- stepfather raising you first and then handing off to father??

What about if your father escorted you the entire way up the aisle, and your mother and stepfather walked as a couple behind you and dad? You'd reach the altar, and ALL parents would be present.

I have seen most ceremonies go "Who gives this woman...etc" and the father replies, "Her mother and I." So although it's him speaking, it's not just him giving you away. So having all three present when your father makes the giving away statement could be nice and also symbolic.

Answer 4

I recently attended a wedding with a similar problem with a twist. The Father was wheelchair bound. The Mother and Stepfather walked the Bride down to the Father (who was waiting at the front) and handed the Bride over to him to give away.
Very symbolic and created tears of Joy everywhere,

Answer 5

I think that you should have your father only walk you down the aisle. Have your stepfather do something else in the ceremony, like a special reading. It's the place of a real father to walk you down the aisle. If you hated your stepfather for a long time, then you are not as close to him as your real father, correct? If that's the case, walk with your father. He will be so happy to walk you down alone.

Answer 6

very confusing thoughts you have. are you VERY close to your biological father? if so, there should be no question as to WHO should walk you down the aisle. it should be him. otherwise, if you're very close to your step-dad, then let him walk you all the way. I don't really care for the "handing off" thing. it seems a bit much.

why not allow either your dad or step dad walk you down the aisle and whoever gets those honors will allow the other the first dance with the bride at the reception...good luck with your decision.

Answer 7

This is your wedding to remember for the rest of your life. Why bow down to protocol, or what other think should happen, or how others may feel about it.

Here's a twist, I think it would be meaningful and very nice for your mother and your father (not stepfather) to walk you down together. You are the daughter that they brought you into this world, and have both loved and nurtured you for your entire life.

If that won't for you, then stay traditional and go with your father. Don't compromise, have the ceremony just like you and your fiance want it.

Answer 8

It's really weird to walk down half the aisle with one person and the other half of the aisle with another. I think it would be good if you get your dad to walk you down the entire aisle because he is, after all, your natural father. Your step-dad will understand and accept that decision as long as you explain to him diplomatically that the decision doesn't affect your relationship with him and you still respect him as a father even though he's a step dad.

Answer 9

Maybe there could be somewhere nearby that they could grab a quick seat. You say it's a destination wedding, if it's on the beach or something like that you could have the seats a bit further back so that they could just walk you to their seats, sit down, and your father could take it from there.

Also, you mentioned that your real dad is probably going to be complaining about having to pay for himself to go to Jamaica... are you 100% sure he's going to make it? That's something else you ought to find out before you stress yourself about who's walking you down the aisle.

Good luck on your wedding!

Answer 10

The day belongs to you and your future husband
with out prior knowledge of the parties personal relationship to you..you should have your Bio-Dad walk you all the way. Your step should be man enough to get over it..as you walk pass your step dad he should stand and give you a light peck on the cheek if you do not have a Vail..your DAD should be on your right arm and step dad should have entered with your mom/his wife prior. The first dance is with your New Hubby -then your bio-dad..and a special dance with your step dad or a 50/50 split with the dads on the same song..Do not let this issue spoil your day!!!!!! have fun