I'll try anything once.. even self-injury? your thoughts?

Question

It was somewhere around the month of this june, maybe july.. idk if it was the stress or the curiosity
but there was one week where everynight i would take a walk down to this field where i would probably gaze at the stars for about a half an hour before proceeding to cut my hand/wrist.. nothing fatal but the scars are just now starting to fade. it looked like i had ran through a pricker bush so that was what i had told everyone. was there pain? no, i dont think i felt it.. but i learned that if your only source of light is a red one, then i will seem as if you just have drops of water on your hand. i found that interesting..
it was a learning experience to know what it feels like to walk through scool with something that no one would dare ask where it actually came from.. yet the experienced people knew. is that normal, dangerous, stupid,or what? id like to hear your thoughts and ill answer any questions incase i missed some part of the story
tootles

please know that this isnt and every day thing.. it was 5 days in the late spring... and it is highly unlikely that i would do it again
and i do help people alot.. especially one person who i save from suicide about once every 2 months

yea it prolly was a childhood trauma, yea i do have low self esteem every other day but no sry im am to much of a realist or logical thinker to fully take up in a religion

=] i already do meditate..
i have a nice selection of music for it also

Answer 1

I think such behavior is much more common in teenage girls than with boys. I know a few girls that have done so and one that has recently burned cigarettes into her skin. She won't admit it but it is pretty obvious with butt like burns in on various places of her body.

There are some people that drill holes in their head or even cut off digits. Many more extreme possibilities have been carried out. There are whole subcultures around such activities. Cutting yourself like that could be a gateway to other self destructive behavior.

The Hindus have a saying, "Don't drink all the poisons of the ocean in imitation of Shiva." In other words the possibilities are endless both pleasant and unpleasant and if you attempt to experience them all they will end up consuming you to the point of insanity and or death.

I suggest practicing the self empowering aspects of spirituality such as meditation. As you become more aware of the present moment you will start feel the interconnections of everything. I suggest a book called the “Power of Now” by Echart Tolle. Sometimes it can be a little bit fluffy with New Age jargon, but it really does help to give you tools to stay in the present moment.

The reason why you did what you did is that you are in pain. Even numbness is a type of pain. We you learn to come out of your head most of this pain will go away as the vast majority of pain is caused by being tapped outside the moment. We are either stuck in the past being depressed and or angry about it or we a fixated on the future never being truly able to enjoy where we are right now. There is a joy of simply being. Learn this art and you'll never have to cut yourself again.

For now I’ll give you two very simple practices. Every morning you wake up simply focus on your breath for 5 minutes of so. Do not allow yourself to fall back asleep while at the same time not allowing your thoughts to carry you away. Keep focused on your breath. Do the same practice right before you go to bed allowing yourself to fall asleep. If you would like other guidance feel free to e-mail me. If you take this practice seriously I guaruntee you will see results. This will lead you to other self empowering practices as when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Ultimately without the right desire to change no movement can occur. It is a good thing that change is our friend. Change is constant and we find how we were years, months, days, hours, minutes, and even seconds ago is not how we are now. In other words have hope it can and most often does get better. Learning certain spiritual (not necessarily having to do with religion) arts can take you a long way and even help you to become happy.

Answer 2

Thanks for sharing the stroy, interesting excuse. I suppose "the cat scratched me" gets old after a while...i wish I had a cat. I cut. To all the people who never have and are reading this DON"T TRY IT. I didn;t do it because it was the cool thing to do. I felt so alone at the time. I didn't fit in anywhere. I wanted someone to understand. Someone to know how it feels. I wanted to be part of something. I saw a lot of posts about SI on a message board I frequently visited at the time and I heard that it helped. People warned others not to try it but I was tired of being alone I wanted it to stop, I wanted an escape. So I tried it despite their warnings. And the addiction grew. A year and I half ago that was, Please don't start self harm if you haven't already. It grows into something overwelming. I hope your doing better and I hope you live a long life. Don't give up, never give up. Theres ALWAYS someone who cares no matter what. Just don't give up. Here's a great website that has EVERYTHING about Self Injury from basic facts to art to recovery tips. All sent in by everyday people who understand better than anyone else.

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

Answer 3

I am with Neptune and MLM! You need H-E-L-P!

I am sure this comes from some sort of child trauma even from before birth. You need to increase your self-esteem 200%! try a psychologist, try any good religion. You can get books on Healing of Memories. There are services of this also.

Pray. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 4

I think the you are dangerously close to really harming yourself, have you no love for yourself, if not, what about your parents. Picture the grief you are putting them through, are you that selfish, there are a lot better things to try out in life than hurting yourself, why don't you try to help someone instead, don't you think you would get the attention you crave that way?

It is never normal for you to want to hurt yourself or get a kick out of it, see a doctor you need a psychiatrict anylysis to find out why you even think this woud be ok.

Answer 5

white light shows the molecular structure of an object.showing the life might be totally dif

Answer 6

I bit my lip once and tasted my own Blood.

Answer 7

if it felt right dont worry about it ...unless you start doing it all the time

Answer 8

It is abnormal, dangerous and stupid...you need some help.

Answer 9

Please talk to a therapist or counselor about this. Self-mutilation is a sign of deeper rooted problems. PLEASE get help!

Answer 10

go for it