Ok, I have a niece, (she is actually my husband's niece) who is 14 years old and is having very bad behavior problems. She is almost failing school, she just got suspended for threatening to shoot the teacher, and we just recently found out she has been cutting herself on her arm. There are quite a few cuts. My husband talked to her today and asked her why she was cutting herself and she said a boy at school thought it was "cool." I know the reason is way beyond that. We have no idea how to get through to her. She has had a bad year. I won't say what but some things happened a few months ago and I know she is keeping a lot of emotions bottled up inside. The behavior problems started way before this. Lying, stealing from family members, using profane language towards her own parents. She was in counseling once and was kicked out because she threw a chair at the therapist. If you have gone through this (cutting, etc.) or know someone who has please tell me what we can do to help her.
2006-09-16 15:13:31 · 13 answers · asked by nc_girl2005 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her parents know about the cutting and so does the school. A kid at school told the teacher and the school called her parents. Of course she was mad that he told but at least this kid cared enough to do something about it.
2006-09-16 15:31:02 · update #1
Most of you have given me great answers. I am having a hard time deciding which one to vote for, so I will let the public vote this time. Thank you all for your help.
2006-09-17 17:21:58 · update #2
My wife has had this problem since she was a young teen. She still struggles with it. She cuts to feel physical pain because feeling physical pain helps ease emotional pain.
It will take a REALLY determined therapist who KNOWS what they are doing. Lots of therapy and possibly medication to help with emotional issues. But cutting may be something she struggles with the rest of her life as my wife does.
2006-09-16 15:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't so long ago that I was a teen struggling with emotional issues and felt like no one was there for me and my troubles. I never resorted to cutting or things of that nature. In fact, I had such a strong mind and good self esteem that I didn't feel cutting would do anything except scar me for life. What your niece needs is someone to vent to. Take one day out, on a weekend, just for her, take her somewhere where it will be just the two of you in solitude, no phones, no friends, no parents and let her vent. Reassure her that she can tell you anything, everything, cry, scream, yell, throw things, fall out, but NO cutting and NO violence of any kind. Get her a punching bag, something she can hit and let out some steam on. Then when all is finished take this child in your arms and hug her and hold her and soothe her spirit. She needs a lot of love right now, not bitterness, not a stern talking to, and not a beating. She needs to be assured that someone, somewhere in her family loves her despite her issues. From there, suggest therapy and research an ADOLESCENT therapist who specializes in self abuse and get the whole family involved. If it is discovered that someone has abused this child, prosecute and show her that justice will prevail and that you all have her back. Show some initiative don't just stand around and shake your head at her. She needs her family and if no one helps her soon, you will lose this child. I pray for the best.
2006-09-16 22:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by Southern Lady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cutting in young girls is another form of addiction. Instead of drugs or alcahol (or along with), cutting takes away the emotional pain and confusion by replacing it with a more intense and demanding physical pain. It is not a fad, but a problem that has been on the rise for many years. And, as with any addiction, it takes a lot of effort to overcome it. Your niece needs a therapist with a strong background in adolescent girls, who is not going to be driven away as easily as the last one was. A good place to look is on the NASW website (National Alliance of Social Workers) as they list their specialties, as well as how long they have been in practice and where they got their training and education from. If that fails, ask a peditrician for a list of providers or call the local college. Cutting often resurfaces when girls go to college and many of the campuses have knowledgeable staff who can offer guidance. Don't wait or let the girl's parents put it off. Although this is a tough road for them as well, with a lot of guilt and anger, without help their daughter's behavior can (and most likely will) escalate further.
2006-09-16 22:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! this is serious. I guess inside her had something that she never ever tell anyone before. Maybe something that she had with another person and it's making her crazy so she did all these things. Or maybe she got forus to do these things. I am sure, maybe you can tell someone the spy on her like where she goes and stuff, and then you will know what's going on with her.
I hope she got help! And I hope you can fix all these drammas! Good luck! If I were you I will be very worry too. Hope things went well!Good luck!
2006-09-16 22:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by xoxo§kailey§ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is something that some teenagers are doing, my daughter started this and I got her help with a psychiatrist, therapist and group therapy. I still have to check her room and personal belongings for razor blades. It was discovered she was suffering from depression. She is doing well now, honor roll student and after 5 years of therapy. She also, may have some anger issues. Hope this helps and
2006-09-16 22:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by beaderlovinglife 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'll admitt i did it in my younger years...my life wasnt were i wanted it and it felt like it was all coming apart....i cant remember why i started doing it but i remember when i WAS doing it it did felt good,and made me feel a lil better bacause it was the one thing in my life i had controll over....alot of people do it and most cases its just a fase...but from your story it sounds more then that...she is crying out for help...she has been like that for so long that she is having a very hard time pulling her self out of it...she needs alot of support and its something she cant do on her own...i hate to think of were she might end up...but you and the family ,if you love and want to help her need to pull together and be her support...i wish you the best
2006-09-16 23:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by lovedove662000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahaahahahahaha. She's emo. It's a fad. Cutting yourself and being a rebel is the cool thing to do. Just beat the hell out of her until she realizes she's wrong. Seriosuly though, stop just taking it and talking to her, smack her. Only way they learn.
2006-09-16 22:16:35 · answer #7 · answered by Poopdragon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This child need professional help. Check out 'self-injury' or 'self-abuse' in a search engine like google or about.com. Low self esteem usually preceeds the self-injury. There are many psyciatrists/therapist who specialize in this.
2006-09-16 22:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by sherlock 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
k well swearing to Ur parents is not something out of the ordinary...she is becoming what teens call "emo" there is something that happened to her to make her feel very disturbed... don't try counseling anymore it will only make it worst
2006-09-16 22:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by Tiny Tim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it feels good the pain blocks out what we can handel find out what it is she cant handel and fix it or the pains the only way we can feel better
2006-09-16 22:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by a perfectly contradictory cat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋