and it sure doesnt feel good on my part.
what should I do?
2006-09-16 15:12:34 · 30 answers · asked by John J 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
shes a whore, dump her
2006-09-16 15:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
First of all if you don`t feel good about it then break off the relationship because you`ll always have that thought in your mind and eventually it will ruin your marriage. Neither my husband or I were virgins when we married each other, but we spoke about our former relationships and that helped alot since we both trust each other. Sure, virginity is a beautiful thing, but it`s not the most important thing in a marriage. Being honest and open with your spouse is much more important. At least she was honest with you and will be in the future. Imagine if she hadn`t said anything and you found out in your honeymoon..it would be worse. Value her for who she is and if you let her go you`ll be a fool.
2006-09-16 22:28:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What bothers you about it? The fact that she's been with someone else (who was probably a BIG mistake), or are you afraid of being compared to him?
A whole lot of people make mistakes in life. And some can't be taken back. I'm sure she strongly regrets what happened, and she doesn't need you to persecute her for it. She obviously loves you, and feels that you are a very important aspect of her life. Otherwise, she wouldn't have told you. And she probably also knew that it could be bothersome to you, which is why she wasn't sneaky, and told you before the wedding.
Let me say that a person like that doesn't deserve to pay for her mistake at the hand of someone she loves dearly.
As for being compared, which I really hope isn't your problem, it is your insecurities making you feel that way. It isn't her fault, it's your feelings interfering with your feelings for her. Don't be foolish and convince yourself that she's had better. If she had, wouldn't she still be with him? Making love with someone you're really in love with is the ultimate in ecstasy.
Past is past, present is present. Please have a talk with her about it, and do not allow yourself to become jealous and bitter. Because that will truly be your relationship's demise. Good Luck!!
2006-09-16 22:23:53 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should first tell here that you sincerly appreciate her for her honesty. They you both need to talk about what sex will mean to the both of you in your marriage.
While you are talking, be sure to talk about all aspects of life together. Being married is not always easy and if the two of you learn to talk about tough topics now, it will help all through your lives.
You may want to consider talking with your pastor/priest/religious leader about marriage counciling in preparation for your marriage as well.
By The Way - I wish that I had stayed a virgin until my wedding night (over 25 years ago). Things would be a lot different today - and I really thing that I would be much happier with lot fewer regrets in my life!
So continue on your quest - instead of most of the advise you are getting!!!!!
2006-09-16 22:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, it should not matter. After all, you love her and not her hymen. There are not many virgins now a days. People do not seem to put a lot of value on themselves when it comes to sex. Evidently she has changed since she is not a virgin, but has known you long enough to become engaged and not been in bed with you. Sounds like a changed woman to me. If you love her, marry her and forget it. There will be many more things that are more important to work through. Good Luck.
2006-09-16 22:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by Bibi B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if she told you she was a virgin before than their is a problem but then that would mean that you probably are a virgin too, and waiting till the wedding?? u should specify more.... but what matters here is the love you both have for one another dont let that change over a viginity topic
2006-09-16 22:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by <LittleFoot> 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she told you she was a virgin previously, and is now saying that she's not, you have a bigger issue on your hands than virginity. Looks like you lost too things here, the virginity AND the trust. Sorry =(
2006-09-16 22:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by nikki_butterfly777 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either accept that or leave her. Those are the only two options. My guess if that bothers you now it will only get worse as the relationship continues. Are you a virgin? Don't play the double standard game.
2006-09-16 22:16:11 · answer #8 · answered by glaff00 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
why does that matter to you so much??? that matters to a lot of people these days and I don't see why. 75% of people have already lost their virginity before getting married. and to "thinredline"...I'm 13, I'm a virgin, and I plan on being a virgin for quite sometime.
2006-09-16 22:15:27 · answer #9 · answered by -tiffanyyy!™ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look at the positives. She knows what to expect in an intimate setting and you will benefit from her experience. It's best not to think of a person's intimacy before you were in his/her life. It really doesn't accomplish anything but to upset you.
2006-09-16 22:22:50 · answer #10 · answered by synchronicity915 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
John you've got a girl who presumably loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you. What are you complaining about?
2006-09-16 22:21:38 · answer #11 · answered by banjuja58 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋