This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Answer 1

Crossing from good friends to lovers is very dangerous. It's one way street. There is no going back. If the relationship dont work out, you both lose a good friend forever. You are 15, take it slow. Just be good friends for now, maybe it will grow. If not, you may have her as a good friend forever. And that is priceless

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about what you are going through. I got my first boyfriend when I was 14 and I am 17 now and we are still together. Let me start by saying you are young and she is probably scared about being exclusive with anyone and that is probably what she thinks you want. Second, I think you should get another girlfriend and act like you are totally over her. That will drive her nuts and she will probably want you then. Third, don't let this ruin your friendship, that is the most important thing in the world is to have a close friend. If you two are meant to be it will happen. It might take a while, but it will. If ignoring her doesn't work just do something completely sweet. All girls are different. Don't let her get you down though. Good luck, and I hope it all works out.

Answer 3

I know what you mean and I've been there too. This is very, very shaky ground, and you don't want to lose her right? This is what you gotta do to see if she likes you:
Since you don't go to school together you have to take her somewhere that is very casual, not in anyway implying romance, like the park.
Sit down by a tree and just start to talk, but since you probably don't want to look like an idiot, walk around for a little bit and then walk toward the middle of the park without any people and say something like: "I'm tired, let's take a break" or something like that.
So know you are both sitting at the bottom of the tree, try to sit close to her and grab her hand slowly, so shes knows what you are doing and grab her hand, look at it, sort of puzzled, and make a remark about it, like some jewelry she had on her hand like a bracelet or a ring or something.
Now pretend like your going to put her hand back exactly where it was, but don't let it go. I'm betting that she won't take her hand away from you, but don't hold on for dear life. Just lightly and comfortably.
Now talk some more, yada yada yada...
Just keep doing this in random places until you fee confident enough to make a more, well, "boyfriendy" move. Like a kiss.

Don't forget to tell her she's pretty, and girls like cheesy presents.

Good Luck

Answer 4

honestly, i don't know what to tell you.. it seems like she has mixed feelings about the whole thing... don't get discouraged, though. by the way you're talking, it sounds like she DOES like you. give her some time if that what she wants. if you want to talk to her, try to do it in person, not over the computer, but don't just "call her out" in front of everyone (her friends.) Explain the way that you feel about her and how you're kind of confused about the way she feels about you because you've heard many things from many different people. don't push or pressure her... that's a MAJOR turn-off.. let her know that you care about her as much as you just told all of us and that you still want to be friends with her no matter what she chooses... reassure her that you have no intention of hurting her and that since you guys have been friends for so long, you don't plan on making her do anything that she doesn't want to do and that you can take the relationship as slowly (or as quickly) as you two want it to be.. hope i helped! = ]

Answer 5

ok your right that was long but i read it and i think i can answer. If she hasn't told you that she wants to go out with you then she probably doesn't want to be more than friends with you. And there's really nothing you can do about her feelings. but good job on backing off that's a plus. After a while give it another try ask her out again. Somewhere casual. Try to ease her into liking you. And pursing a girl works. i am a girl i know. just don't be pushy. Nobody really likes that. And since she's homeschooled I'm guessing she is scared. your right this is a new experience for her. Be sweet to her and sympathetic.

I hope my answer wasn't too long and you actually got somethig out of it.

good luck!

Answer 6

Since I am a girl,and have done the whole dating friends thing I believe that she obviously likes you as more than a friend,is scared it will ruin your friendship,and is not as close or worried what her friends will say if she admits she likes you and can only tell her mom.You need to sit and talk with her (alone) and explain that just because your relationship changes doesn't mean your friendship will end and that you care alot about her and that she can trust you and their is so no reason to be scared.Just leave out that you love her or you might scare her.

Answer 7

It sounds like she is afraid. She is afraid to have a boyfriend and she is also afraid for her friends to know she likes a guy.

The fact that she is more relaxed around you probably comes from her new confidence in knowing that you like her. You have done her a big favor by letting her know you like her. She might even be coming around you to make herself feel more confident.

I know the feelings you're having and I know it is the most painful thing in the world to dwell on someone. You will not move on by seeing her, she is busy messing with your head (whether she concsiously knows it or not).

Here is what really matters, and you need to grasp this. YOU and YOUR WANTS are what matters. Not her feelings, not her hesitance. If you want her, give her an offer, and I'd say you have. If you are not getting her, then I'm very certain at your age that you'll be able to be just as obsessed with another girl. There are alot of girls out there who can really move a guy.

Instead of dwelling on her, work on school, work out, have fun with friends, etc. Chances are, if you do not hurt yourself by waiting for her, other girls will start to attract to you. At that point, she will probably realize that she is not the center of the world and that hesitating on this decision is a waste of time in what is a very small ammount of time that we have here on earth.

If she is making you hurt for her, she is HURTING you, and you need to look into other girls. I have been in your place before, and have taken the stupid route and sulked. Do not wait for women to make their decisions. Does it help you? No, not at all.

Chances are, once you start succeeding with other girls, she will offer you whatever you want. Even further, you might not even be interested in what she has to offer when you see everything else there is out in the world of women.

She is trying to keep you waiting. No matter what decision she disguises it as; she wants you to stay waiting for her so she has a backup and so she feels wanted. She obviously doesn't care that you are feeling unwanted and trapped. Women don't have moral dilemmas about these sort of things, you will learn as life continues.

Don't hold up. I want to cry through my computer screen for you to keep going and have fun with other girls. I promise to god, do not waste your time dwelling on this girl.

Answer 8

Heres what I want you to do, first accept that she has moved on, that you're only 15, and that soon, very soon someone will replace her. Look Kid, I'm twice your age and I can promise you there is ALWAYS someone else. Now, read this part very very carefully, never loose sleep over a women and never let them take your power. You'll understand this through time. Now for more advice go to askmen. com. Now go have a rootbeer.

BTW - Its doesn't get any easier. Hang in there.

Answer 9

you sound like a really sweet guy & if shes gonna do things like that maybe she doesnt deserve you...but then again if she hasnt had a bf b4 then maybe the idea of having a bf is nerve wracking now that she has been askd out..&& sometimes girls dont want 2 ruin an amazing friendship over something like that..the same thing has happened 2 me! good luck && i hope i could help!

Answer 10

I think she's just completely confused. It's really hard to decide if you want to be more than friends with a guy. Or, you could be reading into her "flirting" too much because you like her and you're trying to find something that might give you hope. I'm really sorry, this is a hard one.