my husband and i just had a baby 3 weeks ago he is active army and gone all the time and no help what do i do?

Answer 1

Your husbands unit should have an FRG, or a family readiness group. They can help out, or they should help out, while your husband is gone. If you have questions about the FRG, talk to the commanders or 1SG's wife, they usually run it. They are required to operate one, every unit is, so get on the alert roster and give the wives a call. You will be surprised what they can help with.

Answer 2

You are blessed to have a husband. There are widows and single mothers everywhere that are caring for babies alone.

When he is around, have him engage in baby care with you. Don't force it on him. Use positive encouragement or turn baby care into something the two of you can do as a team or take turns. Let him do everything that you do. Avoid taking total control or only pawning the baby off on him when you are tired. Try to create a schedule if you can, but don't be overbearing. Make the time together enjoyable.

When he is on active duty or unavailable, ask for the assistance of close family members and friends. If you feel that you need more, join a support group for military wives and/or new mothers. You can conduct a search on yahoo to find support groups in your area.

And last but not least, pray and keep the faith. You'll make it.

Congratulations New Mommy:)

Answer 3

I would look for support from agencies in your area or on base. In florida there is an organization, Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies and they are very helpful. They can assign you a counselor to check up on you (someone to cry to with no judgements), a duola to come visit you and help you with house work and on education. I know you are not having an easy time. You just have to schedule everything and be very organized for those night time feeds. You also have to take sometime for yourself. Sleep when the baby sleeps and don't worry to much about a spotless house. Do what you can and don't push it. The world will not end if things are not perfect. I have two a 9 month old and a 2 year old...I had all these plans on being a perfect mom adn at some point you just have to do what you can and move on..Hang in there it will get better. Good luck...email me if you would like to keep in touch.

Answer 4

You need to see if his unit has a support group for spouses. My husband was also in the army and we had one. All the wives had each others phone numbers and would call to check up on each other and to see if anyone needed any help with anything. Talk to your husband's captain's wife, (or husband) to see what is offered on post, or talk to the chaplain. I'm sure that he can help you. Also, see if there is any mommy groups that meet on post, because I remember there always being something of the kind at every post we were at, in the States and in Europe. There are lots of people there to help you, sometimes it just takes some looking. And, if all else fails and he is deployed for a long time amount of time, you can always go back home to family. I've know lots of woman who would do that. I did it, myself!

Congrats on the new baby, also!!!

Answer 5

My husband is Air Force, I'm not sure if Army does this or not, but the Child Care Center does a program called give parents a break. You take your child/children there once a month for 4-5 hrs so you can have a break. Just try giving them a call. Here we have to get a referal from someone, we just got it from my husband squadron supervisor.
I have also found playgroups to be a wonderful thing! Go to www.matchingmoms.org It finds people in your local area.
Just try to keep your patience. It will all work out in the end!
Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 6

Truthfully...You have to suck it up. My husbands a cop and he is gone all the time too. It doesn't help getting mad it only makes things worse. I new what he did when I married him so I guess I new what I was getting into. So I just take it one day at a time and when I get free time I soak in the tub or lay in bed and watch t.v. It maybe tough for you right now, but you will figure out a good routine with your baby and make it work. Just remember when things get frustrating..leave the room for a few minutes even if it means the baby has to cry when your gone...When you come back you will have the patients to deal with the problems you have encountered! Good Luck

Answer 7

well im in the same boat as you, being a military spouse sometimes makes you feel like a single parent, it can be so hard. do you have any friends or family close by? maybe you could ask them to watch the baby for a little while to give you a break, or you can ask someone to come visit you (if you dont live near friends/relatives) and see if they can help a little bit. my mom came for a month when i had my baby, it was such a huge help. good luck, its a tough job being an army wife.

Answer 8

unless your husband is deployed somewhere, he probobly isnt gone anymore than other husbands. if you live on base, check in to the many resources the army has for military spouses. there are many wives in the same situation who could no doubt offer you many suggestions. these are things you should have checked into before your baby was born,but better late than never. ask aroung or check your local base publications. there is a lot of help for you right on base! God bless you

Answer 9

If you really need help, consider joining your local church, even if you aren't religious. Usually the women at churches are really lovely, even if they do try to make you join their religion, and I think that many of them would really like to be able to help in a tangible way.

All mothers understand how hard the first months can be, and any mother who has some spare time will probably come over to help or give you a break now and then. It's worth a shot.

Answer 10

Well do you live on base? I'm sure there's other moms who could help you. Or how about hiring a teenager to come over a few hours a day and help out with housework and stuff? Just a suggestion.

Good luck.