So you've come to the conclusion that you don't want any rugrats; kids just aren't worth it. How did you get to this conclusion and do you ever fear that you will regret your choice?
2006-09-16 13:55:21 · 6 answers · asked by nido_tr3s 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have decided that I do not want any children of my own. I do love children, just do not want any of my own. I have dated men with children and that is fine.
If for some reason I meet someone and fall in love, get married and the husband wants children, we would have to discuss it. I am 99% sure I do not want them.
For one thing, I am almost 39 and I am not seeing anyone. I am getting too old to bear children. As I get older, my "parts" have a less chance of conceiving.
I do not want to have a child on my own. I give all the credit to the single parents out there.
I have nieces and a nephew that I can borrow and spoil and give back to their Mommy.
I feel I can help them out as their Aunt more than I could if I had children. My sisters both struggle. One is a single mother, the other is married with 3 children. I can help them financially or give them things they need. If I had children, I wouldn't have the spare money for that.
I plan on volunteering in a children's hospital too.
I do not think it is a selfish thing as people tell me I am being. Until recently, I couldn't afford myself. Why would I want to raise a child when I struggled financially. I am blessed at this point in my life that I can help others.
2006-09-16 14:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my husband and I decided to be "child-free" for the first 5 years of our marriage, and then our decision changed. Thankfully we were both on the same page since my biological clock was ticking away. We had our baby girl in February of this year.
I know it's a cliche to say but children do really complete you. I'd say that my husband and I were really really happy before we had children, but now that we have our daughter, we are overflowing with happiness. You'd have to have children to understand.
Can you be happy without children. Of course. Could you be even happier with children, maybe, but it depends on the person. Maybe you just don't like kids. Have you had much exposure to them?
Don't get me wrong, children tire you out. We are on the go all of the time, making bottles, breastfeeding, changing diapers, etc., etc., etc. But we love being parents so much that we've decided to have a second child. Maybe the lack of sleep is hindering our ability to think clearly! Ha Ha.
I don't regret waiting those five years to start a family and I don't regret finally starting a family either. You have to do what is best for you and your spouse. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you're not ready for. Believe me, my mom bugged me all of the time to "provide her with grandchildren". Finally, when I got pregnant, she was telling everyone. I mean everyone, the mail lady, people she didn't know at the grocery store, EVERYONE.
By the way, you'll know when you're ready. If you have to ask yourself if you're ready, you're probably not. Good luck.
2006-09-16 21:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Super Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally,I believe that the meaning of life is having children... I do know a great couple who have chosen to not have children. They are in their 50's now and happy with just themselves.
2006-09-16 20:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have friends who married after 30 and decided they would prefer to be aunt and uncle, instead of parents. my gf has several neices and nephews as well as great neices and nephews. they decided before they were married would be too hard for them, since she gets migraines and he likes to buy lots of toys for himself. they are both great with kids, they just knew that it would be too hard to raise a kid, for them, in todays world.
she is 40 and he is 36 (he looks 16). my gf gets asked how old her son is and she has to tell everybody that he is hubby.
as for regretting -- sure they would have loved chikldren -- but they were also smart enough to know, they couldnt do it in todays world.
2006-09-16 21:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend did.
he and his wife decided that they did not have the temperment to be parents, so they agreed to this.
To my knowledge, no regrets and they have been married 12 years.
2006-09-16 20:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i have three but i decided i dont want them , Would you like them
2006-09-16 20:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by jac 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋