How can I know whether or not I am making a correct life decision?

Question

My decision involves letting my child go live with his other parent while I move to another state, and get my life in order

Answer 1

Many of “life’s decisions” don’t have right or wrong answers…
We do what we believe we have to do, and learn to accept that we have made the right choice.

You haven’t really supplied enough information for me to get a proper understanding of your situation, so it makes it hard for me to know just what suggestions I should throw at you.

Is there a particular reason why you need to move to another State?
It is just that by doing so, you are making it harder for you to be able to see your son when you need to.

I think you need to be very careful that allowing your son to live with his other parent, and you leaving the State, is not going to be seen as you deserting your son.
I’m just looking at the ‘legal ramifications’ if you later decide that you want your son living with you instead of the other parent.
Also, if you do move to the other State, you may find that when you do want to spend time with your son, you may not be allowed to take him out of the State where he lives with his other parent.

I sympathise with you feeling you need to make such a major decision in order to get your life in order.
All I can really suggest at this time (with the information that I have available to me) is for you to sit down and write as many pros and cons as you can think of, to help you make the most correct decision.
Try to list as many advantages and possible consequences of what you believe you need to do, and after you have weighed everything up, you will be in a better position to be able to make the most correct decision.

There may or may not be a right decision…
All you can do is make the decision that you believe is best for you.
You believe you need to get your life in order, and you have every right to do so.
I don’t believe there is any question about you loving your son, so I appreciate that in order for you to be the best you can be for your son, you first have to be the best you can be for yourself.

I wish you success in making the decision that is right for you, and sincerely hope that you are not forced to face any legal ramifications as the result.

Good luck !!!

Answer 2

Dear Ms. Alex, In response to your email:
Courageous intentions and well thought out.
It is easy to rationalilze this decision and I feel youre looking for support from an adults perspective. Ask for children under 12 to give you an honest well thot out response.
Unfortunately, kids dont think and rationalize like adults do. They just dont. They have an easier time dealing with a father missing from their life, but the mother issue is completely different...there's more of sense of abandonment no matter how good your intentions. Thats just how a child thinks. Cant get away from it however temporary your absence and even if his father's home is everything he needs. I know you mean well. How will you assume to get your child back? That's gonna be difficult. Courts will see you leaving as abandonment as well. Sorry.
Giving you the truths. Check aawatson3's answer. Wish you all the best!

Answer 3

Hard to say with so little info to go on, but a child is better off when his parent/parents are not in a state of chaos or disruption. If your arraignment is temporary while you get things in order and the other party is a loving, responsible parent to the child then I would say the correct decision would be to let the child go temporarily and go get your life in order.

Answer 4

Tough call. If "his other parent" is in a better state of order, then you're probably doing the right thing. If you need help with ideas for getting things in order mentally, I might be able to give you some tips... I've been to hell and back. I'm stronger than ever now.

Answer 5

So long as is understood by everyone including yourself that the move is temporary, and that you intend to regain custody of your child in due course. Watch it though, children have a way of settling in and may not want to move later on. Have you what it takes to put your child's welfare above your own wishes?

Answer 6

That is a tough one. I did let my two boys live with their father, now the bastard won't let me see them. I tried to do the right thing by my boys and ended up hurting because of it. I still think I made the right choice, for me, but I'm not sure if I would do it again.

Answer 7

it form of feels which you're actually not his precedence like he's to you. in case you won't be in a position to stay with that, then you ought to circulate on. I say this via fact once you attempt to talk with him approximately it, he gets disillusioned rather of listening to you out. If a guy is into you, he will locate the time to spend with you. not do the choice.

Answer 8

It is a very tough call indeed, but I think you are making a best choice for the child

Answer 9

WELL, LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING DECISIONS...THE FUNNY THING IS THAT YOU DONT KNOW IF THEY ARE MISTAKES UNTIL AFTER YOU MAKE THEM. IF I WERE YOU, MY CHILD WOULD BE WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT...BUT I DONT KNOW HOW MESSED UP YOUR SITUATION IS. CHILDREN ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK...THEY CAN GET THOURGH THINGS THAT YOU MAY FIND HARD TO GET THROUGH. HOPEFULLY, IF YOU DO DECIDE TO LET HIM STAY WITH THE OTHER PARENT, I HOPE HE DOENST HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES IN THE FUTURE.

Answer 10

you won't regret your decision so long as you do what you think is best for the child. Explain it to your child so he/she knows why you decide that way.