I need to laugh
2006-09-16 13:05:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
1
You mom is so fat that when she orders her meal at mcdonalds, the cashier thinks she is giving out her phone number.
I will have a 1 298 337 5642
2
Jeresy girls aint trash...
trash gets picked up! ha
jk i love u!
2006-09-16 13:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by TheExile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The boss called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a
particularly stressful week.
When everyone gathered, the employer, who understood the
benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of
the meeting was to have a quick contest.
The theme was Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally
written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra.
Slight variations were acceptable.
About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and
created a top ten list.
After all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went
very well for everyone.
The top ten:
10 Viagra, Whaaazzzzz Up!
09. Viagra, the quicker pecker upper.
08. Viagra, Like a rock!
07. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
06. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
05. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
04. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
03. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!
02. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
And, the unanimous number ONE slogan:
01. This is your penis... This is your penis on drugs!
2006-09-16 20:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll give it a go....
Juan was driving down a country lane in his pickup when suddenly a chicken darted into the road in front of him. He slammed on his brakes, but realized that the chicken was speeding off down the road at about 30 miles an hour.
Intrigued, he tried to follow the bird with his truck, but he couldn't catch up to the accelerating chicken. Seeing it turn into a small farm, Juan followed it.
To his astonishment, he realized that the chicken had three legs. Looking around the small farm, he noticed that ALL of the chickens had three legs.
The farmer came out of his house, and Juan said, "Three-legged chickens? That's astonishing!"
The farmer replied, "Yep. I bred 'em that way because I love drumsticks."
Juan was curious. "How does a three-legged chicken taste?"
The farmer smiled. "Dunno. Haven't been able to catch one yet."
2006-09-16 21:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by cat s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea
there was this guy that just got a new car and wanted to see how fast it goes so he took it to the highway and started speeding and the cop was chasing him but he kept going faster and faster so when the cop finally pulled him over the cop said im off duty so if you give me a good reason about why you were speeding that i never heard before ill let you go so then the guy said ok last week my wife ran away with a cop and i thought you were going to give her back
2006-09-16 20:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why are blondes and tornadoes so much alike?
At first there is alot of sucking and blowing then they take your house.
I got that off the dukes of hazzard
2006-09-16 20:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you get when you breed an owl with a billy goat Answ. A hooten nanny
2006-09-16 20:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tired Old Man 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I saw this one on yahoo answers awhile ago.
You're in a cabin with no doors or windows. There are three matches in the cabin but nothing else. How do you get out?
Answer: Three strikes and you're out!
2006-09-16 20:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by MsMath 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hillery Clinton LOL
2006-09-16 20:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
2006-09-16 21:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by Vulcan Chic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hill Billy Wedding. . .
This young man wanted the blessing of his girlfriend's father so he goes to her dad and asks him, "May I please have your daughter's hand in marriage?" Her father says, "Well, I assume that if she's good enough for our family, she's good enough for yours."
2006-09-16 20:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by aluminum22rocker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋