Could someone help me understand?????????????

Question

I am 18 just graduated from highschool and in my first year of college and i met this guy matt that i like but my parents dont approve of the age difference he is 21 years old? how can i change there opinions?He is a very nice and sweet guy and he asked me too hang out too so i think he likes me and we have also been geting to know each other on the phone. How do i not start a fight with my parents? I really dont see where they are coming from? They dont want to even meet him.

My parents pay for almost everything i need so i want to be respectful. All they say is he is too advanced or mature for me.I
have always been a straight A-B+ student

The would not let me out of the house today and i am starting to get annoyed they are treating me like i am 16 years old for no reason.

I am being forced to go to bed at 9:30

I have always made it a point to listen to them but since i have turned 18years old it feels like they are suffocating me.

Answer 1

Since they are paying for your education, you need to do what they say. After they are no longer supporting you, then you can do whatever you want.

Answer 2

wow, that really sucks. i can't help but wonder what they will be using paying for your educationt with next. right now it's a guy. next it will be friends, what you spend money on. it think it's just going to get worse if you don't take a stand right now. you seem responsible enough that you don't need their hovering. do what your heart tells you, and be prepared to acceot what follows.
that being said, while i don't nec think a 3 year age gap is that horrible i can understand their concern seeing as you are still only 18 and have a lot to experience in life yet. i also know it is very hard being with a guy who is of legal age when you are not. there are so many things that he'd would have to adjust being with you, and many guys just find it more trouble than it's worth. if he's willing to stick it out i'd say you have a keeper. but then there is always going to be a trust issue. like how do you really know where and who he is with during the times you can't be around. meaning if it's a school night and you have to be home by midnight or something...bars are open til 2, how would you really know he's at home or out partying. my boyfriend, now husband was only 2 years older than i and it did put a strain on us, i think if i hadn't turned 21 when i did...i think he might have got bored of it all. **he is from canada where the legal limit is 19, and drinking is popular over there, so all his friends and cousins and such were the same age as him and could go wherever, whenever--but always had to alter it if i was going...even if it was just to a pool hall...after a certain time you have to be of age.
it's a tough call. i wish you all the best!

Answer 3

Sounds like your mom and dad are afraid to let go. Do you have scholarships? do you have student loans? Personally I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your parents and tell them exactly how you feel. I had a problem with my father (I was the good kid, like you) I didn't go to college right away but I got my first job at 15 and have worked up until I got out of the military and stay home with my girls now. My dad never had a nice thing to say to me and I was so depressed that I ended up having a breakdown and going to a therapist. There is where I figured out what was wrong. The day I discovered that my father was my problem my mom made me sit down and tell him exactly that. Since then my dad and I have never been closer. He is a wonderful man. Talk to your parents, i think you need to get the ground rules changed at home and then work on the dating issue. Your parents need to start trusting that everything they taught you will get you through and help you make the right decisions for you. If you need to talk more email me, I'll be here. click on my profile.

Answer 4

Give it time. Don't push it. You have a lifetime ahead of you (I'm sure you've heard that before!) If ya'll really like each other, it will last, even through "obstacles" such as parental disagreement. Believe me, your parents dislike of this boyfriend of yours isn't the end of the world. You can make it seem like that if you want to, but being an adult means being patient, not just all the "freedoms" and "privileges" you've been sold on. Wait till you get to hurry up and pay bills!! That's a gas!! THEN you'll feel like it's the "end-of-the-world" when you can't figure how to make ends meet. And believe me, those times will come. And believe me, "This too shall pass!!" God Bless you.

Answer 5

they are worried about your future... you are in the same position that I was and am still in.

it is not the guy, he could be awesome, it is the threat of you deciding to be a couple, moving out of home, and dropping school.

it may seem implausibe to you that they would be afraid of these things but honestly that is how they feel. it is all for your greater good. explain to them that you are VERY commited to school and finishing and are happy living at home. Remind them that you are however old you are atleast 18 right, and that you are searching for some independence

don't get caught up in the party scene yet, if that is what you are thinking because it is not worth it in the long run with school and all

if you want to go out with the guy and have a good time

have a nice date and be friends

tell him you are too busy with school for a steady boyfriend and DON"T HAVE SEX with him

if he really likes you and things progress through the friendship then everthing will be copacedic and alright when the time comes but if he is only interested in you for your body or anything then he will not want to just hang out and watch the sunset or go see a movie or take you to dinner.

remember if he does want to do these things with you then he does really like you because he is 21 and could go to the bar and be hitting on chicks older than him, so in a way he would be sacrificing something for you... that is a good thing...

but don't get too attached, keep your mind on your studdies because they need a lot of attention :)

don't worry too much if your parents don't want to meet him because it isn't going to be a boyfriend girlfriend relationship where you are a couple and it is like a mini marriage LOL just go out and have fun and be friends...

atleast that is how I see it Best Of Luck

Answer 6

Do you (and your parents) realize that you are an adult? I was married and owned a house at the age of 17 and I was (and still am) fine. You should definately respect your parents, but they are being rediculous. A three year age difference is nothing to worry about. Most guys aren't mature until they are 30 anyway, so what's the point of arguing about it. Good luck!

Answer 7

Well, the issue is that you live under their roof, and since that's the case, it's hard to go against their wishes. I don't particularly agree with them about this guy. After all, he's someone you could have gone to high school with; he's not THAT much older.

This is tough; I don't know them, but it seems like they're not the type to "come around."

You're 18 though, you're an adult.; when you're NOT at your house, you can pretty much do what you want.

I'm sorry, I don't have much advice, but I'm on your side (I'm a parent.) I believe to some degree, that kids, which you're not according to the law, should be able to be able to explore themselves to a point and become more independent, which they're not letting you do.

Answer 8

You should do what they say. As a parent, I know that they have your best interest at heart. You are still very young and should keep focusing on your education. You are going to need your skills for a good life in the future, so do not focus on the guys too much. When I see all the capable women in my group, like physicians, I sometime miss not focusing on my career but I thank God that I have a good life. Life for the younger generation is more chaotic so you can only trust yourself and your career.

Answer 9

Give them time.
You just met the guy, give yourself time as well. Be careful and respectful, concentrate on your school and have fun with Matt.
Once you know that Matt is it, only then would I even consider talking about him to meet with your parents.
If I was your parents I would not want to meet with Matt either.
The age factor is not the problem, you just met him and you are in your first year of college. This is the issue not Matt.

Answer 10

I think it is time to move out. See if you and a couple girls can get a place together. I know that college is expensive, but if yo have no freedom then its time in my opinion. They also have housing for college students. This way you can really learn how real life is. I think that it is lame that your parents are holding you this tight. Mabey just pick up a few brochures about student housing and leave them lying around. Let your parents find them on there own. and mabey they will give you a little more freedom.

Answer 11

Just have him come over and have him talk with your parents one on one. Have them sit down together and let your parents play 20 questions with him if he is willing to participate in it. Other wise your in a pickle and need to respect your parents. Soon as your on your own then you get to choose who will be in your life. I think your parents are worried because of the 21 age because he is able to do more stuff than a 18 year old can legally.