This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Answer 1

Dude, chill! She's not that into you. If you value her friendship, you'll respect that. When a girl says we just need to be friends, she really means she doesn't have a romantic interest in your in the least. Sorry.
And just because a girl doesn't see a romantic future with you does not mean she thinks you're ugly or not fit or anything else. I'm sure many, many girls will come into and go out of your life. You're only 15! You have a lot of life ahead of you. Relax and live it. Have fun. You've had your first heartbreak, there will be more and you'll probably break a lot of hearts. Just remember how bad you feel right now and remember to let them down gently.

And stop over thinking everything, you'll just end up needing tranquilizers!

Answer 2

i cant believe i actually read that, I think she's undecided and she likes u she just doesnt know if the best decision is to be with u as bf and gf because after all u guys have been friends for a long time and she wouldnt wanna loose that friendship, sometimes we do that, we'd rather keep u as a friend instead of a boyfriend and break it off later and never speak again. So she is letting u down easy but seems like she likes u but she doesnt like u as much as u like her,U know ur very young and although it may seem like ur never gonna get over her, u will, just give it time, there will be others and better, she sounds like she's not even ready to be in a relationship, she still sounds like a child. So keep doing what ur doing, time will heal ur wound, pretty soon u wont even remember. Take care i hope this helped

Answer 3

I think because she doesn't want to date you because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship that you and her had.. Imagine that she agreed to be your girlfriend... But then it is not as best as when you guys were friends.. You start to have problems .. disagreement and then start to fight... It become bad till you guys don't want to see each other.. Then the friendship you guys once had might vanish....
Sometimes relationship will last but soemtimes it doesn't and I think your friend is being cautious and don't want to ruin the friendship you guys had because you guys go way back... Sometimes it's better to stay the way it was..
If you really really like her and don't approve of her decision just ask her why won't she want to have a relationship and that you love her no matter what.. if she still want to stay where it stand respect her wishes and you guys still be friends no matter what.. Hey you never know,.. Maybe she see later on and will ask you out.,.. But if she saying this to you now it is not the time .. Sorry if this is long...

Answer 4

Aww Honey, women can be difficult. I'll tell you what I think and you can take it with a pinch of salt if you like. You said that she's never had a boyfriend before. Point one. It can be really scary for a girl to decide on a first relationship. You can guarantee that a lot of thoughts are swimming around in her head right now. She maybe needs a lot of time to think it through properly. She sounds like a very intelligent girl, with a lot of commitments that she may have to give up to spent time with you. What if you hurt her? What if she says yes and then wants out?

The only thing you can do is show her you're very interested and give her time to decide. She sounds very unsure and the fact that you emailed her spilling your feelings probably knocked her back. She probably genuinely had not thought about the fact that she might like you in that way! If she wasn't thinking of you as a potential boyfriend, in my opinion she should have said "I want to stay friends"

Answer 5

You sound very sweet and sincere, but I can't stress this enough.... take it easy. Remain friends and don't pressure her. Nothing will driver her further away than you pressuring her. She has said she only wants to be friends for now. That may change, but in the meantime, don't be surprised if she takes up with another boy. At 15, you are both too young to make any sort of commitment to anybody. Remain friends, be there for her when she needs a friend, and leave it at that.

Answer 6

In my experience when a girl says she doesn't want to ruin the friendship, that is code for she is not interested. If I were you, I would make it clear to her that you really care for her and if she ever changed her mind you would love to try being more than friends, and you would be willing to take things at her pace. That is all you can do, put the ball in her court, and then let it go, don't pressure her. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Your question seems to me very genuine, so I will give it best shot. But, of course, I am only guessing.

I think maybe this girl just isn't ready yet for bf/gf relationship. If you can hang on a while longer and don't pressure her maybe time will solve your problem for you.

Compared to you, I'm an old man. But I have got a long memory and I know how hard this is for you. Have courage.

Answer 8

lok she is playing with your emotions here and that is not fair to you. I know how it feels trust me but you need to move on you bguys are freinds and she barlkey makes time for you now imagnine when you guys are going out , trust me the best thing is to get over her even though your heart tells you diffrent, at the end you will get hurt and it is not wrth it stop crying over her you desirve better she is only using you she has you like back up when no guy likes her she comes crawling back to you, I don't know her but you have to get over her and just be friends and thats all cuz she is playoing with your heart and that is not cool. tell her you want to be friends nothing elses another girl will come, when youmleast expect it she will be there, you still have your whole life ahead of you even though it does not seem that way . you will get over her like i had to get over someone. yeah it is hard but you can do it. oo another thing don't llok for another girl be patiene cuz the least thing a girl wants to be is a rebound! good luck
get over her! and don't waste your points! by posting like 93 questions of the same thing!

Answer 9

She sounds like a very sincere, likeable young lady. Being home schooled has one major disadvantage: she may not feel comfortable with her or your feelings--after all she doesn't get the day-to-day interaction you do in public school. Her parents obviously want to shield her & may be playing a big part in affecting her decisions. For now, be her friend as much as she will let you.

Answer 10

It doesn't seem like you're ever gonna get over her as long as you're around her man, I know u wanna be her friend to give her what she wants but you gotta look out after your own feelings too. You can't force her to date you but you should atleast let her know how miserable you are without her and as much as u'd like to make her happy you don't wanna torture yourself at the same time. Give her some options. I was thinkin if you just tell her you can't be with her as a friend, you care for her too much, and it's killing you to be around something you can't have. So if she's ever ready to try it out, she's more than welcome whenever she wants, but until then you have to get away from her because she'll only remind you of how much you want her. Then once you're away you can try moving on that way, without her in your life and it should be easier to forget. Then, she'll start missing you alot and calling you and leaving you messages about how much she misses you and being sad and all that.... and if you keep your cool and fight temptation long enough, she might not be able to handle it as long as you and finally give in. Then maybe she'll have no choice and just admit that she likes you that way too, and willing to try somethin out. Hopefully for you that will force her to go out with u cuz she won't wanna lose you. This might not sound good to you man cuz you don't wanna be mean and tell her No I won't be your friend! But it's the truth man, you want her more than that, so that's what you need to ask for. You're respecting her feelings by saying ok we won't go out, but she has to respect yours too and not force you to be her friend when it only hurts you. U might not think it hurts to be her friend cuz it's better than nothing and you'd miss her too much, but all you're really doing is sittin there waitin for her to change her mind. But it's gonna take a very long time, if she ever does change man, cuz she's gettin everything she wants right now, you as a friend, and she's comfortable so why would she change. And what if she ends up hookin up with some other guy in the future, while u're still just a friend.... I know u won't wanna be around to see that ****... trust me man there won't be a more cruel pain than that in your life. So I think you need to put a little pressure on her and tell her you can't wait for her forever, you need to do what's good for you. And get away before you get really hurt. And like I said before, she'll feel bad, she'll miss you, and she'll realize no one else would be a better bf for her than you so might as well go through with it. It's a very long and difficult process to be patient for, but it's for a good outcome I believe and I hope something works out for you if not this. So long-story-short, say I'm sorry for ruining the "friendship" but I want you more than that so I can't really keep that friendship.