I am married, relatively unhappliy so, and have met someone online. He lives a half an hour away and I have become truly enamored with him. Should I consider meeting him? He's 15 years older than I am, but we im, email and talk on the phone daily. I have a child and am a bit afraid to take the leap.
2006-09-16 12:50:05 · 15 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its a tough situation. Sounds like you are ready to leave your unhappy marriage but are afraid of the unknown.
I think you should meet this man for the simple reason he may not be who you really thought he was. I dont mean he is a horrible man because I am sure you have worked out that he isnt. But online chatting is different to meeting someone in person. You need that connection, and you only really get that when you meet face to face. I have met a few men on line and thought they were great, and they were....there was nothing wrong with them, but when I met them in person it was a different matter, there was just something that wasnt right...they were still the same nice person they were on the net, but after meeting them in person there was something that didnt feel right, and I cant even explain it.
If you want to move out from your marriage, you need to do it for you and your child...you need to do it in the best interests of both of you. You should never leave a relationship for another person. I do understand how you can be attracted to this man on-line, it has happened to me, but like I said when I met them, it was totally different. But in saying that, I did meet one man who I connected with instantly...long story...I fell totally deeply in love with him and he with me, so on-line chatting isnt all bad, you just need to be aware of your own needs and work out what you are looking for. Dont just go for the first man who is interested in you and you in him...meet him first, then decide if there is a connection.
Maybe you are looking to get out of the marriage and this, to you, seems the easiest way out. Its not.
Meet with him, then decide what you want to do. Dont make any decisions about your feelings for this man until you do meet. I could tell you a lot of my own personal stories about this, but it would take too long. But believe me, your feelings for him might be totally different when you meet him. Just quickly...I met this man I had been chatting to for ages...I really thought we would hit it off. When I met him, he had this smell about him that turned me totally off....He was still a lovely guy, just this smell...it could have been his deodorant, or just his natural smell...it is something I really cannot explain, but that alone made it impossible for me to go any further with him. There are heaps of reasons why people dont connect with each other on a physical level, some reasons cannot be explained, and people may think the smell of a person may be a very shallow reason, maybe it wasnt just his smell alone...I just know I didnt connect with him physically. Had I continued this on-line relationship, then our feelings would have become deeper which would have ultimately set us both up for a big fall. Meet with him, its the only way you are really going to know.
There are obviously a lot of problems in your relationship. I suggest you broaden your horizons...dont just think of this man as the one and only...meet with him first and then decide.
I wish you well...I hope you find your true soul mate....we all deserve to be happy.
2006-09-16 13:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be leery of anyone on line especially when theres a child involved? So honestly my opinion is no way only because of the child and from what Ive heard . The person you met might be totally harmless but you just cant take chances these days .
2006-09-16 12:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ni,
You have a child, first and foremost. Your child's needs should be number one priority, not your romantic life. Get your husband with you in counseling to rekindle the love you felt for him when you married him, okay?
Don't burn and destroy everyone's lives just because you want a fling. Online encounters are often disappointing when you meet the Internet "love." And even if you are attracted to him when you meet, WHY would you want to destroy everything just for some fantasy? Please, darlin, get a GRIP!
2006-09-16 12:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Nani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no no
you need to work on your marriage, or if there is not hope for your marriage get a divorce.
Then when you are emotionally ready you could begin to date.
Haven't you heard people on-line are usually not what you think?
You don't really "know" this person unless you have spent time together in real life instead of the cyber world.
Your poor child would be in the middle of a mess.
2006-09-16 12:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are or how long you've been married. I think you should reconsider, the fact he is 15 years older, should automatically tell you, you will have different outlooks on life not to mention taste, values ect... Personally I think any relationship with him will cause you more heartache. Please think this through carefully, not just for yourself but for the innocents involved.
2006-09-16 12:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Troy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were single yes. Since your married no, it will be fun and and exciting at first to meet and maybe date this person, but later on it will be emotional pain and make your marriage even worse off than before.
2006-09-16 12:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass isn't always greener. If you want to take a chance of losing everything you have then do it. Only you can make that decision. Plus ppl on here are not always the most truthful. He could be a wolf in sheeps clothing.
2006-09-16 12:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm in an online relationship too. Get divorced before you do anything (if you aren't yet)...it keeps you out of trouble.
2006-09-16 12:54:56 · answer #8 · answered by sweetie_allie19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember, you married for better or worse.
I had a friend that got hung up on a online afair.
It cost her her marriage....& her children.
NO MANS WORTH YOUR KIDS!
2006-09-16 12:53:26 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
danger danger here!! owe my lord with a small child womann are you nuts? ryn like hell into the wind for lords sake you are one crazy-- lunaticc my lord you got a beautiful, chil, at home look into that beautiful, childs eyes and say owe my god what if?? you betterr whhat if-- tat child neds you alive!! think about, it long hard!!
2006-09-16 12:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋