How can I tell another christian friend that something she is doing is drawing her away from God.?

Question

I dont want to come across religious or look like a "spiritual snob"

Answer 1

Who cares if you come across as a "spiritual snob?" If she needs to be told, TELL HER! Neither Jesus, nor Peter, nor Paul were worried about the perception of others when it came to telling people what they needed. I tell you this in love, if you can't just tell her what is drawing her away from God, perhaps your own fear of the opinion of others is drawing you away from what God wants you to do. I truly believe that this fear is one of the biggest weapons Satan uses against God's army.

If you tell her out of love with genuine concern for her, God will do the rest.

Answer 2

It depends a lot on how close you are, the nature of her sin, how much she defines herself by the sin, and how credible you are to her. Here are some rules of thumb from Aristotelian rhetoric that might help.

Ethos - Appeal to your character and your relationship with her.
"We've been friends for 10 years and you know I love you and wouldn't hurt you for the world. I hope you would tell me something like this if you saw me hurting myself." That sort of language. Then, be vulnerable. Identify with her. ":I can see myself doing what your doing and not listening to a friend either." or "I've done other things that were just as bad or worse and I'm glad I had Jill to bring me out of it." or "Remember when I did (some stupid thing.) Well, I would have never stopped if it hadn't been for you (or someone you both know.) The idea is to identify with your friend and make it clear by speaking of an example in your past where you were just as wrong, sensitive, desperate, embarrassed or whatever as she is now. that you are no better than her and you have made your share of mistakes as well and had others help you.

Logos - Use logic and reason. Why will the activity in question harm her and draw her away from God? Be ready for how she might respond and have a calm, loving reaction ready for that as well. She may get upset, but you must stay calm at all times. If you start screaming, or whatever, you'll have to stop and try again later and you will have lost ground in the process.

Pathos - This is an appeal to emotions. Give her examples of other people who have taken her path and wound up in horrible circumstance that she must agree is detestable.

These are broad strokes but your question is broad. Ethos, logos, and pathos are the keys to persuasive speech. I hope the examples above are helpful in your situation. God bless you and your service for His kingdom.

Answer 3

Ask God for wisdom what to say.

When she is around, comment on something that you see could be trying to pull you away from God (tempter), & let your friend know how that temptation will not convince you to leave God. Take the authority against the lie with the Truth, Word of God. Speak the Word. Faith comes by hearing a word about Christ / God.

Answer 4

First, talk to your Pastor, Care Pastor, Elder, etc... for Godly counsel and spiritual guidance. They may be able to discern things that you may not and give a fuller understanding to the situation as well as help determine if what she is doing is a sin.

Secondly, pray for wisdom, lovingkindness, as well as for God to speak through you. The Bible says that "Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people." [Proverb 14:34] so, be sure to be the "salt of the earth" and "light upon a hill" (Matt 5:14-16) and let her know that what she is doing is a sin.

Then grab your friends hand, and in a humble, loving, way tell her that you are concerned about her and ask her if she would pray with you. We "... all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) but, it's always a softer fall when we know that we have loving supportive friends to help us get back up. It's not usually our place to do something to make them stop, it's their free will. But, it is our place to pray for our friends and loved ones and ask God for continued grace and mercy in their lives.

Answer 5

You won´t look as a spiritual snob, just be honest. We are chosen by God to tell others about the truth, don´t worry He will be there with you-

Romans 10:14
14How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"[g]

Answer 6

You do what God tells you to do..He said the Bible is for teaching, rebuke, reprove, exhort...etc

You won't be a "religious snob", if you approach it from a standpoint where you tell your friend that while you have serious issues in your own life, that you are concerned about (fill in the blank) in her life, and tell her that you would hope if she saw you going astray that she would tell you...

Answer 7

If she's a friend, express your concern. Pray about it first and follow God's plan. Just be honest and be humble. You don't want to come across as knowing it all or make her feel like you're condeming her. But, that best way to handle it is to seek God first.

Answer 8

Depends on what she is doing, and how bad it is and if its only bad in your version of whats bad so I need more info. Also, if youre a real friend you will mind your own business and leave it up to Jesus to do the judging. Keep that in mind when you talk to her about it, I think your should discuss your feelings dont be surprised if you get an angry response and are again told youre full of it worry about your own business and stop being so nosey and judgemental.

Answer 9

Maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing.....she may welcome your words....you are not a "spiritual snob" if you care so much to help this person....you need to pray about this, God will give you the right answer....God Bless You.....

Answer 10

i have the same problem.but i would just say the best thing you can do is be an example and to number 1 pray for her that god will show her the error in her ways.god bless you friend!