Do you think it is cruel to put your child on a leash? My three year old likes to run off?

Question

and when she was two I would put her on a harness. I used to get awful looks for it but it kept her from getting too far. One day the harness magically disappeared from the backseat of my car, I think my daughter ditched it in the parking lot. Now, she is three and she has been getting worse at running off and not listening to my calls to come back. I would like to start using a harness on her again but would like some other parents input on their feelings on this. Do you think it's okay or are you against it?

Answer 1

I used a harness on all four of our children, when they were toddlers. Before I quit to stay home and raise children, I worked as an EMT. I've had the experience of peeling small children out from under a bumper, and off the street. It isn't pleasant, as you can well not imagine. I saw the absolute misery in those parents faces, and the drivers of the cars. Horror doesn't begin to describe the scene, nor the nightmares afterwards- theirs or mine. I swore then I would do whatever was necessary to keep my children safe, and that meant a harness until they were almost 5. I still use a strap on my youngest- just turned 6, when we are in a really crowded place like an airport. I have no intention of losing a child to anything- be it a car or a child snatcher. That harness or strap means you are never far behind, and they are never far away. I've had plenty of remarks, and plenty of stares, and I'm real good at remarks and stares back. Is it a leash? Yes, so what. My child is worth more to me than the most pampered pooch out there, with a diamond collar and designer leash. Eventually the child will be old enough to understand the why's and why nots- but not at three. The harness guarantees they get old enough to learn. I say do what you need to do, and ignore the remarks and looks. It's no crueler than any of the other things you do to keep them healthy or safe. Isn't it cruel to hand them over to the nurse/doctor to stab with a sharp needle? Isn't it cruel to feed them veggies when they'd rather have the candy? Or hold them down while you dispense the medicine? Sort of depends on your point of view, and your sense of responsibilty for the child, I suppose. But better a harness than a hospital bed or coffin, I say.

Answer 2

My story:
My son is 23 years old. When he was 2 I began using a harness. I also had a 5 year old to keep track of. I had people make rude comments to me that bothered me until the day a little girl also 2 years old ran out of the front door of the church and was killed by a passing vehicle.
I am now raising my 2 year old grandson and we NEVER leave home without his harness, in fact he asks to put it on. I find it hard to believe that a 2 or even 3 or 4 year old would be embarrased to wear a harness. ok, if your kid is 7 and he is still running off then you have a problem.
Don't worry about what others say do what is right for you and your child.

Answer 3

I don't have a problem with it. Sometimes it's the best thing rather than have to be on the child continually. Those people who don't agree, undoubtedly have no idea about raising children properly. I was the primary care provider for my grand daughter for the first four years of her life. I am disabled. If she took off, there was no way I could ever catch her. Spanking her and being down on her all the time for it was not an option. These thing are not constructive discipline for a small child. I put a harness and leash on her and things worked out great. She new why it was needed and didn't have a problem with it. Talk to your daughter about it. kids understand more than you think. They just can't always control their urges to run off.

Answer 4

No, it is not "cruel." The child is not experiencing pain. Nothing is stopping the child from looking around and learning by watching the environment and people. Generally, this practice is seen as "cruel" because people equate "leash" with "animal." Thus, to put a child on a leash is to treat that child like an animal, or to be cruel. But this is false reasoning. The leash was developed for children because it kept them from running away from the parents, as children that age are very often likely to do. They can often evade their parents. When a child is running around loose, it can be dangerous for the child, as well as annoying for other people. Without that leash, the parent would have to directly restrain the child with a hand, or by holding the child. In that case, the child cannot move around at all. The child's vision might also be obstructed somewhat, preventing some portion of learning from taking place.

Answer 5

I think it's a terrible idea. The reason why your daughter is running off so much at an age that she should know better is because you never taught her how to listen to begin with. Hooking her up to a harness is only going to teach her to try to get away from you.

You need to ditch the restraining methods and just keep repeatedly telling her to stay near you. Give her time outs if she doesn't listen, or warn her that she may lose out on something (like desert or get an early bed time). If she still doesn't listen then follow through with what you said you were going to do. This way she will believe you next time and each time it will become easier to get her to listen. When she takes you seriously then she will listen.

Answer 6

Start by learning how to control a situation rather than allow it to get so out of hand that you would use a leash. So what do you do when she runs of...you call her to come back? GO GET HER. Then take her home, find someone suitable to babysit if you need to be where ever it was you took her to, and tell her that until she can behave appropriately she can't go. When my daugther was small her favorite place to just go and walk around was the mall. She loved being around big crowds so we would go window shopping. She acted up one day so to the car and home we went and for about 6 weeks after if I had to go to the mall she would have to stay home. She finally decided that she preferred going with me to the mall rather than misbehaving. I never had to resort to treating my child like a dog.

Answer 7

what you will be getting would be cross information some from those that has never had a runner and those that have had a runner. I had a runner 2 runners after losing one in a big

shopping mall and getting the police to help find him (He was found safe and wel I was lucky) years later I gave birth to another runner. I got him one of those wrist type straps so if he tried to

pull loose from my hand and would not get very far. I can tell you if you have a runner you will do anything to keep them safe. Its easy for other people to say just smack them but its to late for

smaking when they have ran off and somthing bad happens to them. If you can get the wrist type then do that they give you the peice of mind. If you can only use the harnsess type then do what you must to keep your little one safe. All the best and don't worry about the looks you get maybe they have never had a runner before.

Answer 8

My sister in law uses them for her two children when they go out to busy places, and believe me she gets some DIRTY looks. There was a group of people once who were talking about her using it at StoryLand and they were using sign language, so they assumed they could say whatever they wanted. Well, she walked up to them and signed right back that she would rather her kids be safe and a little humbled, than missing and/or hurt. The look on their faces was priceless:)

Now, thankfully, my daughter is very well behaved. Especially when we are in busy places, because my husband and I have explained to her how easy it is to get lost and how scared we would be if she wandered off. She sticks like glue:)

If she refused to listen, however, you better believe she would be on a leash. I don't care WHO gives me dirty looks. Let them take chances with their kids safety! You do whatever you need to do to keep your kid safe!

Answer 9

I think its fine. I'd rather my child be in a harness than to run off and get hurt or be taken. I always say you can laugh all you want but I know my child is safe.

Answer 10

I think it is okay in the right situation, if you are doing it just so you dont have to watch your child, then no. But I use to use a child harness in airports when we traveled alot. Dirty looks dont mean a thing when your child is safe, its better than having them run off or get snatched up by some creep. I think you still need to teach her to listen to you though.