Should I satisfy my husband by doing what he demands in sex?

Question

First of, I don't mean to offend anyone by this question. It is just because I don't know where and whom to ask this question. I'm really too young in marriage and sex. My husband always and always wants me to use my mouth when we have sex. I am not saying that I don't want to do that so that he will be sastified. However, I consider that to be so abnormal. I don't know if it is because of my limited experience in sex. I really don't want to use my mouth, especially when I am into his "under" region. I can kiss him using my mouth in any other region, but not that "under" thing. Guys, do you have any advice for me? Do you think I should change my attitude in sex? Does everyone use his/her mouth when he/she has sex? Actually, I tried to do that once. But the "under" thing somehow does not smell good at all. What should I do guy? My husband told me he is only 100% satisfied if I use my mouth. What would you guys say? I really appreciate any of your advice. Thank you guys

Answer 1

You need to get over your hangups. Oral sex is perfectly normal and expected. I'm surprised that you don't enjoy it more. Anyway, you need to realize that it's the norm, rather than the exception for guys (and girls too) to want and need that.

Now, about the "bad smell"....If he's not clean as you would like, he SHOULD wash!

Answer 2

He should not be making demands, it's controlling and dominating. If he wants you to do something, then it should be a request, and you should only do what you feel comfortable doing.

Be more open. It's hard when you have set ideas about what is normal, and what isn't. When he suggest something, think about it before deciding. Talk in detail with him before you even make it to the bedroom. A good long talk on the couch can help you both to be more comfortable, open, and relate to the others feelings. When he brings up oral sex, or other things you find strange, distasteful, weird, or just don't want to do, have him explain why he wants you to do it. Then explain why you don't want to. While you don't want to be rude and say "it smells bad" you can tell him that the idea isn't at the top of your list. You may find that saying something about hygiene or germs may get him to voluntarily take a shower, or wash the area without offending him.

Then find ways to suggest a middle ground. Maybe a couples shower right before you start can help. Besides the erotic implications (and it's fun) you can also be assured that he's clean and better smelling for your pleasure. It's also great foreplay to get you both in the mood, and a way to familiarize yourself with each other's bodies.

Not everyone uses their mouths, but it's very common. You might want to consider saving that as a special treat to start with until you are more comfortable doing it. Maybe days like birthdays, anniversaries, long absences, rewards for things, etc... You won't have to do it all the time, but he'll still have days when he gets his way. You should not be giving in all the time, but once in awhile to show him you love him enough to go the extra distance occassionaly. Also, don't expect him to use his mouth when you are unwilling to use yours. Same for him. If he wants something from you, then he should be willing and ready to do the same.

You have to talk to him about it. It's the best way to find a solution, and it's better for your marriage. Lack of communication can create more problems than anything.

Answer 3

For one, your husband should not "demand" anything from you. The two of you are in a partnership, and lovemaking should be something that is enjoyed by both of you on a volunteer basis. If he makes you do anything you don't want to do, this is rape, and you should not stand for it, for even a millisecond.

That said, using your mouth is very normal. Not everyone does it, but it is not uncommon at all. However, if he smells, he needs to take a shower...that is NOT normal. Perhaps the two of you could shower together, in order to make it something that is clean and not as offensive to your senses.

Also, you should encourage your husband to use his mouth on your "under" region. It is quite pleasant, and seems only fair, if he expects the same from you.

Answer 4

First of all, you need to express your feelings to him. you guys are husband & Wife you are suspose to communicate. Let him know that you are not to comfortable w/ oral yet. As a husband he should respect you for that. If you ever consider going "downtown" in the near future maybe you guys can start off by taking a shower together. This way it can heat up the two of you. And you know he will be clean down there. When I first got married I have the same probs as you too. Just the thought of going "downtown" gross me out especiall y if it's smells. I hope this help and good luck.

Answer 5

Because you are inexperienced and young, don't let him take advantage of that. Sex is a mutual thing that should be fun for both of you. First off, though, by "under" thing, do you mean his butt? If so, it's not totally normal. Some people like it, others don't, but if it smells, then don't go there. If it's the area in between that and his private parts, tell him to wash!!! Offer to wash it for him!

Don't do anything you really hate doing. Marriage does involve compromise and sometimes it's important to do things that make our partners happy, even if we don't love it. But not if you absolutely hate it! It is a two-way road, though and he should be doing things for you that make you just as happy.

Any man that says that they cant be satisfied without their 'under' area being licked are liars. Don't fall for that and tell him that you aren't interested in doing that for him every night and he's going to have to figure something out for himself (like masturbation). It's not your responsibility to always satisfy him. Again, it's a two-way street.

Answer 6

You have to talk more about it , this desire is very important in marriage , and it can really affect your life way , so you have to discuss this issue , and you have to come out with a result that you both can go on with it ..And a tip , for you .. think of your husband as a whole being , he is not only consisting of face and hands and legs , always there are things in between , and for example ask your self if he told you that he doesn`t like to touch your under part ?!!

Answer 7

Well if you aren't comfortable with certain sexual acts, you need to let your husband know. If you are willing to try it and find out more about how you can enjoy it, you need to make sure that you take it slowly and that you can get comfortable.

Tell your husband that he needs to clean himself thoroughly prior to sex. No one enjoys funky sex. You can make it a part of the act by washing together so that you are sure that he's cleaning himself. And then bring in fruit or melted chocolate or syrups into the action.

I'm hoping that your husband reciprocates using his mouth with you so that you can enjoy it as well.

Answer 8

First of all you need to tell him, he needs to have a bath or shower, before you engage in sex with him, because he does not smell clean, and may be then I will do some of the things that you want me to do.Tell him satisfaction should be for the both of you, he has to do things to satisfy you also!! I think he needs to be a bit more patient with you, and discuss what you both can do to each other.

Answer 9

To start with I did not like it either, however, the longer my relationship lasted the better I liked it. Maybe I got used to his "smell" or I actually got to like it, I don´t know,but I think it has a lot to do with trust and love and of course personal hygiene. There are some creams with taste that actually help.

Answer 10

well, if you're that uncomfortable giving him oral sex, then you need to be open about it. you need to talk to your husband rather than anyone on here. first of all, my husband and i have a very healthy sexual relationship. and that's only because we are open and very honest with eachother when it comes to what pleasures us physically. if there's something we do or dont like, than we tell eachother and then we respect how the other feels. bottom line. if you're that concerned with oral sex, than you're husband should respect how you feel and find another means of satisfaction.

i didnt like giving oral to my husband at first either. for the same reason. but at first i didnt tell him and i just did what i thought he wanted me to do. after a little while, i finally told him that i didnt like to do it for hygeine reasons. he know knows that if thats what he wants, then he needs to get himself in the shower. and i enjoy giving him pleasure. i make it a game of how far i can take him. but the simple rule here is COMMUNICATE with your husabnd and find compromises/solutions TOGETHER.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

First of all, you should never do something that you are not comfortable doing just to please someone else. If it's something about the way it smells or whatever maybe you can try taking a shower together first and clean it to make it smell better to you and then try. ... if that doesnt work than you have the choice of just not doing it and making him mad ... or doing it and being uncomfy .. not a fun position to be in if ya ask me ....