to couples with divorce... what went wrong? any advice for me?

Question

im so inlove and engage and wish tobe togther with my love forever. I was hoping to find out from couples how to prevent divorce? why couple look for other mates why this happen and how to prevent?

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is not expect your partner to make you happy. Have your own life and be happy with that. Share the time with each other but never feel that another has to complete you or is expected to. --- married 25 years and still fighting LOL

Answer 2

Well, I am on my second marriage. Looking back I can tell you that I married the wrong man for me. Everyone knew it but me. The lesson I learned is listen to the people who love you and know you (like your family). I listened the second time around. Everyone thought my future mate was the bomb (except me) but I thought I should try a bit harder since I messed up so bad the first time.

Well...we have been married for over 16 years now and we have a beautiful 9 year old son. My sister told me that if I wanted my marriage to last then I had to have a "divorce is not an option" attitude. She also told me that marriage is hard work and you have to stick with it. I also challenge my husband on issues that I feel are important...like having at least one house pet.

Good luck to a long and lovely marriage.

Answer 3

There is no way to prevent divorce. Yes you are on love and hope to be together wit hyour lover forever, but so does everyone else or else they would'nt get married in the first place. Love is something you can't control. You can never know what will happen after your marriage. Husbands who are abusive, alcholics, or husbands that "check out" other women are not like that before the marriage, or else a wedding would never have taken place. I have never been divorced so I don't know exactly why it happens or how to prevent it, my best guess is if you have a feeling that he is cheating or he abuses you, don't take a chance and don't forgive him, get a divorce. I don't believer there is any way to "prevent" it though. I hope it works out with you and your fiance, or future husband lol.

Answer 4

people do change over time and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that, however always make time for each other, especially after you start a family. You need to have alone time as adults. When you become a parent, you tend to give all your attention to your children and forget about your spouse and the very reason that made you fall in love with that person. It's best if something is bothering you to be upfront and honest about it and talk about it right away rather than waiting until it's too late. I think it's important to have your own time with your friends too.

Answer 5

Well, I am divorced from a man that I was married to for 12 years! He cheated on me several times and finally left me for another women who was also married! I chose to always put him and the children before me and gave him everything he wanted. I'm sure that I wasn't the "perfect" wife, but I tried constantly. His family always had to be involved in everything and my family wasn't allowed. Now, I am happily re-married to a man! I learned to compromise, talk out all problems, make myself happy (which in turn will make him happy), because then I am in a good mood! Don't let things fester. If something is bothering either of you talk it over immediately! And, just love eachother. But, make sure it's a two way street. Don't let other people (family and friends) put any questions about your relationship in your head. It's ultimately you and your mate who have to live with eachother!

Answer 6

I think the biggest problem is that your so inlove and you so much want to get married, that you dont back off a little. I think its better when people want to get married that they set a date of at least a year down the road. That way, you can learn more about eachother, you can save money if thats what you want, but ulitmately if you are truly in love and want to marry someone, why do people always have to rush it?

Answer 7

The best, (no lie) way to prevent divorce is simply being able to understand each other BEFORE marriage. Find a good counselor then both of you go to a pre-marriage session. You will be shocked, you will be embarrased, you may even cry but you sure as hell will thank God you went.

Answer 8

Dear Turkey Pizza lady,
There is no real way to predict if someone is going to stay forever happy with the one they marry.
But if you take a look at your first pivotal words used in the first sentence of your question. It will reveal a very astonishing hint.
(So in love and engaged.)
These are two very important ingredients to a long and happy union.
I would say, that if you stay engaged in this relationship,even post marriage. You will find ways to stay in love.
Be patient and accepting of the fact that you are living a life that involves two people now and make the necessary adjustments to maintain common goals as you move along in life.
As I said initially, there is no fail proof way to marriage, just as there is no fail proof way in
life.
Best wishes to you and your love. You will do fine. :)

Answer 9

Don"t be thinking divorce, in the same context as marriage, and why, people should not stay together, The key to a good marriage is communications, + never to to bed angry, and respect each others feelings, it is a give and take situation.

Answer 10

First husband cheated on me, I caught them in bed together.

Second husband would not support me financially (I work full time and paid for everything, he refused to contribute a single penny to the house hold)or emotionally, never wanted to have sex, never wanted to do anything that involved making an effort socially, would not go anywhere else except the 2 pubs he liked. Then he cheated on me.