I met this guy in my apartment complex when I first moved in. I was nice and talked to him for a long while. He gave me his card. I took it because I realy did think about it calling him. However, I decided not to because he's 43 and I'm 25. I wasn't sure I could trust him and he asked me very personal questions when we just met and I answered one of them and I just didn't feel right about him. Last week, there was this party and I told him he couldn't sit with me and my friend because she didn't like him. Then I went to talk to him one on one and I told him I didn't feel comfortable with him and I thought he wanted more than just being friends and I was moving out of my apartment the day after the party. Right now I'm thinking I should've ket quiet and I feel so bad and I can't forget what I did. Please give me some advice on how to forget what happened. I don't have a lot of friends and in the past, every time I've tried to be just friends with a guy it hasn't worked.
2006-09-16 10:47:31 · 14 answers · asked by Lorraine_us 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Prolly none of you all are going to change your answer because you'll just think I'm making excuses. But I just wanted to let you know that I did fall in love with a guy who was 14 years older than me and he broke my heart. I think I'm still hung up on him and that's made me act weird with guys. I think I have Asperger's (mild Autism) too so that screws up my social abilities.
2006-09-16 14:32:29 · update #1
your gut instict is saying stay away from him, and as hard as that is to accomplish or as hard it is to obey this gut feeling, you have to try unless you like taking unnecessary risks that can end up harming yourself
2006-09-16 10:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by ISOBESTANSWERS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are saying you told him your friend didn't like him when it wasn't true right? Well you had a feeling about him, and usually feelings are based on more than intuition. Some kind of red flag went up when you met him. And you told a lie at the party to make him go away. That's no horrible thing. You then told him your real feelings. That was good.
Don't be so hard on yourself! Tonight, ask God to forgive you for the lie. Then forgive yourself. Then meet some nice friends your age whom you DO feel comfortable with.
Good luck. You seem nice.
2006-09-16 10:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of "forgiving yourself", go ask him to forgive you and tell him exactly what you written here. Sounds pretty straight forward to me.
Why are you making such an issue out of the age difference? Pretend he's 26 and see how that feels. Is he a nice guy? You're being way too uptight about all this. Just relax and take it one day at a time and see where things go. No one's asking you to marry them or move into together. You're just getting to know each other, that's all. Don't make it more than it is.
2006-09-16 10:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dear, you didn't do anything wrong. Most of the times when you're being nice and can't make yourself avoid someone, they get you in trouble. I'd also disagree with what you said about guys i.e. you wanted to be friends with them but they wanted to have physical relations with you. That isn't true for everyone. There're good and bad people everywhere. Don't think about these things. When the right time and right person comes in your life, you will know it. Best of luck!
2006-09-16 10:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by Harry thePotter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live and let live. Jeeze you are so mixed and and believe everyone is trying to get it on with you. I think you should live with you mistake and apologise. Apologising is a start and at least it would take a bit of the burden off of your guilt. Remember all guys are not losers and if you believe that you will never find any one or even friends. Just because it hasnt worked before dont base all of your knowledge on that, you still have so much to learn and see. I am just glad it wasnt me that was being nice to you that day because i would of regretted it only later.
2006-09-16 10:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by Gar 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, sometimes our gut instincts scream pretty loudly. Maybe you did do the right thing and you just feel bad because you are worried you hurt this persons feelings. But there is nothing wrong with standing up for something. Good for you for being open and outspoken.
2006-09-16 10:51:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing by discouraging the guy. He's too old for you and is looking for a bed partner. He can date Sally Palm and her five sisters. You sound like a nice person, I'm sure any one your age would be interested in you.
2006-09-16 10:52:03 · answer #7 · answered by goodbye 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u did the right thing because if you wouldn't have said anything, it prolly would have gotten worse. For Example, Him knocking on your apt door 2 am in the morning trying to "talk" to u.. I am in that situation and I wish i would have told the people from the start.. hey LOOK!! BACK OFF!!... If you wouldn't have told his azz u probably wouldn't never had any PEACE..
2006-09-16 10:53:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you did a good thing because he asked you personal questions the first time you met and that is a sigh of him being a pervert.
2006-09-16 10:54:19 · answer #9 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try to act normal when you are talking with a guy.
2006-09-16 10:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋