*Best Jokes and Funniest*?

Question

Write here your favorite joke and funnier!! and lets see how funny they r! =]

Answer 1

This drunk guy is walking thru Central Park on St.Patrick's Day. He stops to piss in the bushes and sees a little guy dressed in green standing next to him. The drunk asks "Are you a Leprechaun"? "Yes,you caught me" is the reply. "I get a pot of gold then?",asks the drunk. The Leprechaun says "This is New York City,we don't carry gold,but we grant 3 wishes".

So the drunk says "I wish for a million bucks". "Done!" cries the Leprechaun, "in the morning you'll have it in your bank account. Your second wish?" The drunks says "I want all the women I can handle". "Done!" says the Leprecahun,"come morning, women will throw themselves at you. 3rd wish?" The drunk says "I couldn't help but notice how hung your are. Can you make me hung like that?" The Leprechaun replies "Now that would be a special gift,and for that, you'll have to let me have my way with you".

The drunk is thinking this over, saying to himself "I got a million bucks, women will be all over me, and I'll be hung like a horse. And besides, who's to know but me and the Leprechaun?" So the drunk says "Yes" and bends over in the bushes and lets the Leprechaun have him.

After the Leprechaun is done, he asks the drunk how old he is. "25, but what does this have to do with my wishes?" The little guy dressed in green asks ,"Well aren't you a little old to be believing in Leprechauns?"

Answer 2

What do u call 2 bannana peals


a pair of slippers hahahhahahahah

Answer 3

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat down to solve it. A week later, they finished the puzzle.
"Well, that didn't take so durn long," said one of them.

"Naw, it didn't. 'Specially considering it says 3-5 years on the box."

Answer 4

George Bush and his wife were flying across America. George said,"I think I'll throw 1 dollar out the window and make one person in America happy.
Laura said"why don't you throw 5 dollars out of the window and make 5 people in America happy?" George said"I think I'll throw 100 dollars out of the window and make 100 people in America happy." The man behind him leaned over and said,"Why don't you throw yourself out of the window and make everybody happy."

Answer 5

Bob and alice had been married for 45 years..one day bob went to his doctor, he came home and told his wife the bad news. " honey" he said, my doctor told me that i have terminal cancer. will you have me cremated? "yes" she said, consider it done. so bob passed away a few months later. alice gets the urn out one day and sprinkles his ashes on the kitchen table. she says "bob i'm going to town for awhile". she returns later...she walks up to the table..says bob "do you remember that fur coat that i always wanted"? well here it is., and remember that diamond ring that i have been wanting for the past 40 years"?... well her it is ....and remember that bj "YOU" always wanted?? well here it (she blows his ashes off the table)!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

I heard someone talking about some ugly girl and they said 'it looked like she set herself on fire and someone put her out with a wet brick!' LOL

Answer 7

a blonde a brunette and a red head are running from the police and they find 3 burlap bags so they each go into one. So they police find the bags and they poke the brunettes bag first and she goes "meow" so they cops say "oh it just a cat". Then they poke the red heads bag and she goes "woof!" so they cops say "oh its just a dog". Last they poke the blondes bag and she says "POTATOES!"