My mom and I are at each other's throats. She says EXTREMELY hurtful things to me (like if people really close to me drown in a creek that she wouldn't send flowers and she wouldn't attend the funeral and that she hates them and wishes that would happen to them) and then when I bring them up in the middle of a fight she denies them and makes me feel like I'm going insane. I want to move out of my house and in with my dad, my parents split up about 6 years ago and my dad lost visitation rights. Since then, however, he has gone through counseling and really gotten his act together, we have recently reconnected and started to bond again and I think I would be much more stable living there. I don't want to get my dad in trouble but I can't stay here with my mom mentally abusing me like this. (My mom and I have also been in a physical confrontation but neither of us 'started' it) I want out, please help.
2006-09-16 09:51:32 · 8 answers · asked by jeffsgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know you or your exact situation, but here is my suggestions.
I would talk it over with your Dad. How old are you? Are you close to 18?
You could try to talk to your mother about how you feel about her saying hurtful mean things about your friends. Tell her that when she acts that way, you are seriously thinking of leaving. She is not when she says those things.
Show her how grown up you are. If you two are even becoming physical with each other please suggest counseling. Tell your counselor at your school. I am sure he or she could help you. Mental abuse is just as bad as physical.
When you feel like things are getting out of hand, walk away. Tell her when you are not in an argument that is what you plan to do because you don't want things to get out of hand. Walk away until you are calmed down and suggest she does the same thing.
I will say a prayer for you both. I pray also your relationship with your father continues to grow in a good way.
2006-09-16 10:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should be straight up and forward with both of your parents about the situation and give each of them an opportunity to 1. Think things through 2. Learn that you are becoming an "aware" young adult that is capable of making your own decisions (to an extent) 3. Most importantly make the best decision based on your needs and not theirs.
I wish you luck! I was once in your situation and I did not talk about it before hand and moved to live with my dad and boy I really got a wake up call!! Needless to say I was back home with my mom the next week! Maybe, though, that could work for you and you may have to decide which things are worse than others.
when I lived with my mom and step dad I was mentally, emotionally and physically abused. Even though my father did not physically abuse me he did the others and there was the lack of me feeling "truely" loved and cared for by my mom. (The step dad was the one doing most of the "abusing"). So sometimes you have to make a choice on what is better for you.
I might also suggest that if you are school age, there are school councelors that are always open to talking things out with you. You might also try going to a councelor or psycologist to help you get over the abuse issues as well.
Once again, Good Luck and I would seek help for the abuse if you can! It will only make you a happier and healthier person as you age.
2006-09-16 10:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by jamieasue24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there a school consular or relative that you could talk to? Just having someone to talk to can relieve some of the tension.
I don't know for sure but I don't think at your age, 17 right? That anything can be done to you if you move out.
Have you discussed the situation over with your Father and what is his input about the situation and you moving in with him?
It sounds like you and Mom are kind of at it right now, maybe you could talk to her later when things calm down. I only hope your not fighting over your Boy Friend. When it comes to our Children us Mothers do get our Feathers ruffled.
My daughter ran away when she was 14, it took two months to find out where she was staying. I wanted to go pick her up and when I talked to the Police about doing just that, I was told I could do nothing. In their opinion she was old enough to stay where she wanted. Keep in mind that was along time ago and it was in California.
You have a computer, do some research on this and see what you can find out.
2006-09-16 11:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Plain Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the biggest thing is your age, if your old enough for where you live (and the local judicial system allows you to do this) to make a decision about who you want to stay with, then you can go before a judge or magistrate and ask them to grant your dad custody of you if you're still under 18, but you need to find out if they have a minimum age limit to do so, or if they allow it at all.
you should also be aware of the fact about your dad getting his life together and if he'd be able to care for you properly, because it could set him back hard if you suddenly pop up saying you want to live with your dad, just make sure that he knows what you want to do.
another thing is have you really tried to talk to your mom, maybe it's somethin YOU may be doing that's upsetting your mom and causing these confrontations
good luck.
2006-09-16 10:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by quiksilver8676 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should try to live with your dad!! Your mom has no rite to be doing that! i wish you the best of luck!
2006-09-16 10:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
report that your mom is abusing u then u can move in your dad's house
2006-09-16 09:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by First L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom sounds like a real b i tch...call the cops on her.
2006-09-16 09:56:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would this get your father in trouble?
2006-09-16 09:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋