I am 25 and want to adopt a girl aged birth to 2 years (it would be nice to go older but fear doing so for developmental reasons). We have had difficulties (not with fertility) but with pregnancy complications. My husband is 34. We had hoped to try to conceive but I'm having second thoughts. We have a preconception visit planned, but I worry that the risk to myself/baby may be too high for pregnancy to be realistic. However, we would like to add to our family. I would love a little girl, a sister for my boys.
2006-09-16 09:48:44 · 20 answers · asked by Charlie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am 25 and want to adopt a girl aged birth to 2 years (it would be nice to go older but fear doing so for developmental reasons). We have had difficulties (not with fertility) but with pregnancy complications. My husband is 34. We had hoped to try to conceive but I'm having second thoughts. We have a preconception visit planned, but I worry that the risk to myself/baby may be too high for pregnancy to be realistic. However, we would like to add to our family. I would love a little girl, a sister for my boys.
(Also wish to note, sons are 6yrs and 3yrs...lost another son died 12/06...feel like one family member is missing.)
2006-09-16 10:23:50 · update #1
Ugh..that should say 12/05! Sorry. Mental slip, the anniversary is coming up. It doesn't feel like a year.
Oldest took the lost pretty hard. Shortly after our other son was air lifted and hospitalized for about a week. They're soft-hearted kids. Love other kids. My degree is in psych although I've never done much w/ it. Would like to become a nurse or PA at some point.
2006-09-17 06:57:06 · update #2
http://www.childwelfare.com/waiting.htm
I have 2 boys also and I am 27. My husband and I are going to have another child of our own but we are also going to adopt a child here that needs a home. Check out the website that I posted on here because it gives you contacts and photos of children in foster care that are up for adoption along with any special needs they may have and a little about their personality! I hope this helps and I wanted you to know that adoption is one of the greatest things a person can do!
2006-09-16 09:58:48 · answer #1 · answered by stall_out 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are 27, that's by no means to old to have a baby. i don't think there could be too mch risk in having a baby if everything else is normal...However you must speak to your doctor for that.
Adoption is always a complicated mater. First of al it is very expensive and then there might be problems with the child. I know a person who adopted a child and this child went completely mad and didn't respect her parents, telling them they had no right over her as they were not her real parents. She set off on herself to find her parents and did find them and left her adoptive parents and has never talked to them anymore...
Of course if the child is as young as 2 this might not be too big an issue. You must think about whether you will tell yur daughter that she is adopted or not. Some children really react badly when they get to know this, because they feel their parents have lied to them all along. As you already have 2 boys you must speak to them as well, because having an adopte child might mean to them that she is not their sister and they can bug her and be mean to her....It is a tough deciion and I would, if i were in you place, try concieving first of all...
I am sorry for your loss, it must have been terrible...I can understand why you are reluctant to get pregnant again.
2006-09-16 23:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a wonderful idea. I commend you. Why risk your health? There are so many children in this world that are in need of loving, caring parents.
Talk it over with your husband and make sure that your boys have a full understanding of adoption. You have to make sure they are comfortable with it. The last thing you want is for your boys to not accept your daughter or make her feel like an outcast in any way.
When adopting, make sure you thoroughly research the child's background, reason for becoming a foster child, and behavior patterns at all former placements (foster home/s). Behavioral problems due to abuse and/or neglect may appear in children as young as 18-24 mos. Their behaviors can be modified over time, but you want to be sure not to take on more than you can handle and/or over disrupt your household. The adopted child is bound to change your household, as even a newborn of your own will do. Hopefully it will be a joyous occasion for all.
2006-09-16 10:11:56 · answer #3 · answered by T T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I give you my condolences. I also think that its great that u want 2 adopt but u must be serious about it First of all u must talk to ur boys about it if they do not like it they will give the girl a hard time.Also u must know the way to break it to the girl that she is adopted at some time it is better she hears it from u than any body else. On hearing she is adopted she might rebel. It is a very serious issue and u have to be prepared for it
Give u my best wishes for any decision.
2006-09-17 05:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by Solar Sarab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u need only girl then not best way for adopt a girl bec u have 2 son ur own and girl u adop she is diffrent blood so i think after some time u or ur husbant not give her full love like ur son if u dont have any child then u adop thats the diffrent thing u give whole love to her but u have ur 2 son and how old r they if they know she is not his real sis then how can they behave with her so think every thing and did every thing
2006-09-16 10:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by swagat_j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adopted 2 little girls from Russia 10 years ago. Wonderful experience. In keeping track of other parents who adopted, they've all been thrilled with Russian/East European adoptions.
Check out the mailing list for Russian and East European adoptions. -- www.eeadopt.org
Cost may be a factor. We did a luxury version (and enjoyed a luxury vacation in Russia), but it set us back $25000 for the 2 girls (for all adoption-related expenses including trip).
BTW, there is an adoption organization in the Los Angeles area called Nightlight that is excellent. Ask for Ron Stodart, the director. I've never met a nicer, kinder person.
Post here if you want more info from me
2006-09-16 10:07:09 · answer #6 · answered by The Fred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and his spouse followed a alluring little lady countless years and they did each and every thing of their skill to provide her a sturdy existence. She is 15 years previous now and has severe emotional and psychological complications. She makes threats, sneaks out, cuts herself - there is under no circumstances a second of peace of their abode. Come to be sure she has an older sibling who develop into followed by employing yet another couple and he had to be institutionalized. The state at the moment had to step in and take the daughter to an organization fot help, yet i imagine she's previous help. My brother and sister-in-regulation are devastated. They completely sense sorry about adopting.
2016-11-27 19:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by georgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption is a great thing to do if you want more children. There are too many people out there murdering their unborn children (Abortion) and it's nice to know they have an option that wlll provide a nice home for the child. Good for you!
God Bless !
2006-09-16 10:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by samson316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your third son, that must be tough for his brothers too. I'm guessing your husband and you have talked abou this and it could be a great idea, if your sons like it. Talk to them about it and make sure they feel secure with the idea first. Make the girl a coincidental issue so they don't feel you're craving a girl or have a prefernce for either sex.
2006-09-16 11:10:13 · answer #9 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is something that you should discuss with your husband because the decision should be your (the two of you) decision. I can not really answer your question whether you should consider adoption. I do not think anybody else has the capacity to answer that. It is an important decision and will affect your family, so you should discuss it with your husband.
2006-09-16 09:52:36 · answer #10 · answered by damsca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋