my partner of eight years has just recieved some bad news ie not got the managers job at work, as it was given to a younger ie 22 year old girl. hess 33 and now very annoyed.
he has just disapeared on me to go on a bender (drink) he refuses to answer my calls and is being a pain in the butt.
he has done this twice on me since being togerther. shall i chuck him out is the question? please give reasons.
2006-09-16 09:25:18 · 23 answers · asked by peachy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry hes done this to you.
Sometimes we do things that upset others and he probably doesn't realise how much its affecting you.
Not that that's OK, but he needs to start talking to u and then by doing that would find the support he needs to hear at this time.
We all like to get what we want in life but, that is not what happens every time and it seems that he finds that hard to deal with at this time, but what u need to ask yourself is can you chuck him out of your life just because he he is dealing with this in this way without explaining what u feel?
Maybe you should talk to him when hes not been drinking tell him it s not fair on you not returning your calls, as u were worried and needed to speak to him, and hes then letting it affect your relationship in a bad way rather than talking things through, as that's what life deals out sometimes, the shi--y end of the sick.
And as a couple u need to deal with it together.
Is he supportive to u when things go wrong for whatever reason, or does he just let u get on with it?
If so communication is vital in a relationship, so i have found.
If you never find that, you will always struggle to deal with life together.
Discuss it, then u both know what the other thinks and expects,from both sides, then if it happens again u need to rethink how u want Ur life to be.
Hope it goes well. And if u need me send me a email. Good luck.
2006-09-16 09:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by ANMAR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ALREADY know the answer to this question, Peachy. You've already given your thinking and I always say listen to that "little voice" in your head - it NEVER lets you down. So yes.
You can understand him being angry and frustrated but he shouldn't take it out on you, should he? If it was the first time I would probably say talk it over and tell him you don't like it, which is what you should have done (maybe you did?) but certainly not after several previous experiences.
At the end of the day it's up to you though. I'm surprised you even need to ask the question but obviously you want/need reassurance you're doing the right thing, which you are IMHO.
Good luck anyway.
2006-09-16 09:29:07 · answer #2 · answered by mancunian_nick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just let him be and just support him the best way you can until he gets over this. He needs space right now and you should give that to him. The best thing to do is to go on as you normally would and do little things that would make him happy without asking him questions about it or constantly bring it up. Trust me he'll remember how much you supported him with this down the road. You could write him a letter and tell him how much you love him and tell him the positive things about him that you love and that goes for his career as well. Tell him your here for him and you believe in him no matter what. Just let your true feelings come out in this letter. Put the letter in his car so that when he goes to work he can read it. He'll always remember this act you did down the road, and he'll be thankful he had a wife that was supportive even when things like this bought him down. Good luck!!!!
2006-09-16 10:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably pretty depressed too. My bf has been getting the runaround at work over a promotion, one day he gets good news, the next day, "it's been put on hold". It's a blow to their self esteem. Men just deal with things differently. Maybe your guy just doesn't want to talk about it, needs some time to clear his mind. If it's only been twice in 8 years? I'd give him time to sort things out on his own. He may just need some "silent" support from you. Let him know you care (if you do). As long as he isn't seeking support from another woman, I'd say give him some room to breathe.
2006-09-16 09:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by msuzyq 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound a helpful response.
If he needs some space leave him, you have shown you care, but don't make him feel hunted.
Just wait to offer your support.
However, if there is some more information you have not supplied, then this may well be a good time to get rid. Particulary if the drink will have a bad affect on him and you.
2006-09-16 09:31:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your question is asking us if you should chuck him out because he is out on a bender over work problems then maybe there is a problem in your relationship.
When you love some1 then you should be there for him.
Let him have his bender then let him sleep it off and then be there for him talk with him but most importantly LISTEN to what he has to say.
2006-09-16 11:10:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, chuck him out. And you really need us to give you a reason ? OK here goes, the guy is a dork, whatever happens in your life , don't need to go on a bender, especially when such a nice person is waiting at home for you.
2006-09-16 09:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he turns away from you in times of need instead of turning TO you then why are you together anyway? Chuck him out this once to stop it becoming a habit-show him youre serious then slowly give in, let him think you changed your mind and let him come back, if he even wants to, but make sure next time he knows it's for good.
2006-09-16 09:31:17 · answer #8 · answered by Justme.X 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, he is not dependable and he turns to drink when the going gets rough. He may be an alcoholic. Who needs that?
2006-09-16 09:28:53 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would go on a bender as well.....he will come back once he as got it out of his system
2006-09-16 09:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋