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I'm 21, live in NYC, work at a call center, very handsome, contemplating divorce, if I do I have to go back to my parents place which consists of a mentally handicapped older sister, mother with alzheimers, and a depressed father w/ no life.

I've never been to a real bar/club for people who are 21+ before, I have no 1 to go with either. But I'm worried what girls will think once they find out that I work at a call center, have no degree but am trying to get some movies made (I write them), and worst of all, I would be living at my parents therefore don't have my own place. You think they would think less of me for any/all of this, be it a one night stand or a relationship, either one, what do you think?

Cuz I figure most of those people in bars/clubs must be educated, nice apt., got everything made for them. I feel like an outcast. Maybe its only in the movies?

Help please :(

P.S. I would appreciate some real answers and no jokes-for-points please. Thank you.

2006-09-16 09:16:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

18 answers

i would never think less of a person just because they live with their parents. all my guy friends are 20 or 21 and most of them live with their parents while they save money for their own place. it's completely understandable. girls who would think less of guys who live with their parents are probably gold diggers anyways. forget about them.

2006-09-16 09:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by Damon ♥ Elena 6 · 0 0

God!! Go to a real bar (in England its 18+ so everyone goes to bars from 16+) if you have no one to go with then go by yourself!
But that may put girls off - find a friend, someone from work? People in clubs come from all walks of life, some are educated or some people are on the dole, you don't know unless you have the courage to go!!!! If your getting a divorce then you have to have had some exp. with girls. If you think that people will look down on you because of your job then do something about it!! go back to school, get some qualifications at least that way people can tell that you are trying to do something about your situation. Don't live with your parents unless you really have to - passion killer and makes you look pathetic, try and find a place!!

Good Luck!!

2006-09-16 09:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0 0

I don't think there is anything wrong with living with your parents and family. It gets to be a problem when the man can't get away from his mom. I feel if someone can't accept that about you than there is no point in trying to make a realationship work. Every family has their own situations and for someone from the 'outside' to judge you off of that than that is ignorant. Also, It is not like you have been living at home for 21 years. You were married and you did have a place of 'your own'. Hope that helps... P.S. NYC is a hard place to live....

2006-09-16 09:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by ashley 3 · 0 0

It sounds like you've got a lot of stuff to sort out. I wouldn't worry too much about living "back home" for a while. If someone likes you, they'll understand that you are trying to get back on your feet, (and won't judge your family). Keep in mind that a lot of people end up living with their parents for a while, (especially after graduating from college, etc).

Also, you'll probably end up meeting a 'love interest' through the friends you've got now; instead of at a club. And the people you meet at those places depends one where you go. If you go to a "meat market" type place, you might meet more shallow folks. If you go to a local pub, you may meet people that hold your interests, (sports, music, etc).

Maybe you should travel a little with the money you save by living at home?

2006-09-16 09:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by beach chatta 2 · 0 0

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2016-10-15 01:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Get a good job, good education, and some friends. Dont be shy!!! Girls/Guys are human too. Make some friends and go to a club/bar, and start up a conversation with a girl. Get her number and call her. And as for moving back with your parents. Dont! Just do what I said. Get a good education. If you have to go back to college. Or get your GED. And if you want to then just start your life all over again. Start new.

2006-09-16 09:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by TayNuz 2 · 0 0

Hello, I can only speak from a personal point of view but I would definitely not think any less of a guy, who lives at home. Considering your circumstances (divorce/family members etc.) I would think Ok, here´s a guy, who didna have much luck in his life, but he takes it into his own hands, taking responsibility, wanting to make a fresh start, I´d take my hat off, respect! I don´t think intelligence can be meassured in completed degress. If you enjoy your job, that´s perfect. Get going with your movies in your spare time and if you still feel there´s something missing, think about studying with the Open University (UK) (I´m not trying to make advertisement, but I think they are very good and affordable!). Altogether though, no I would definitely not think any less of you, in the contrary, respect would be the only answer.

2006-09-16 09:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by gini 1 · 0 0

Dude I have answer your other post in which in fact I kind of answer this question too.

No Don't go back to your parents if you can stay temporary with a friend do that... But remember if you stay with your parents it mean you have to respect and obey their rules.

It mean you will be expending money in hotels every time you get a honey which in NYC are so expensive that mean you will never be able to save enough to get your own place.

Stay with a friend temporary which soon or later your friend will be tired of you and kick you out, But you will have some freedom and don't set up with the first woman that go out with you, take your time gain some experience try to be successful and you will see ever thing will fall in place.

Just don't rush in to things.... There is 1,000 of woman's out there is like basking robins try more than one flavor, no offense to the woman's out there...like they don't do the same...yeah! right!
Good luck!

2006-09-16 09:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by Soyam I 2 · 0 0

Never let anything hold you down. It is not expected that everyone straight out of high school already has their life established.

No matter how downtrodden your life may seem, theres someone out there for you.

Do you really want to find the type of girl that would date someone based solely on their job/apartment/house?

Odds are, if you're a human, you'll really get along with someone.

Cheer up, things tend to work themselves out if you take a deep breath and approach them with some composure.

2006-09-22 09:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by Absent Glare 3 · 0 0

You have the wrong idea about bars. They are full of tired people trying to escape their own lives with alcohol. There doesn't seem to be hardly any really happy well adjusted people in bars. Please don't expect to find true love in one of those places. Chances are she won't even remember your name in the morning.

2006-09-16 09:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by pleeks 4 · 0 0

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