What quatlities make for being a good military wife do you think....all I can see so far...is that you have to accept drinking...cheating and you and your kids coming second to the military?? what do you think?
2006-09-16 08:03:21 · 7 answers · asked by justwonderin' 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I should probably add...that I am not asking this for myself...I am asking this for a friend...she is 24...her husband got back from Afghanistan (then they got married, she has a 4 month old son) and now has been posted to Alert (North Pole) for 6 months....thing is...so I don't mean this question making any assumptions...she is a member of a military wives website..and she sent me a bunch of msgs...from threads on which she was expressing her fears..and all these experienced miltary wives were all like....accept it...you have to make yourself numb to such things etc...I'm not saying any of this to be true...I'm saying I don't know...and she's a new military wife...we DON"T know...I didn't mean it as an insult...I myself am a military brat...but never saw such things...though. thanks sorry if anyone took it personally didn't mean it as an insult...I'm truly asking out of ignorance...my slightly feminist side must have gotten the best of me, I should have worded it differently sorry!
2006-09-16 08:54:04 · update #1
Being Battered, Cheated On, Abused Because of his drinking are all BULL CHIT! That is unacceptable behavior weather your a Military-Wife or not! Self Medicating with Alcohol is a "WOOSIES" way of dealing with the traumas of war. I spent 3 years in the Nam. 8 months as a P.O.W., and have NEVER once placed the Military before my wife, NEVER mistreated her in any way shape or form! And DAMN sure have never cheated on her! She has always been and will continue to be my "Hearts Only Desire" forever. I have P.T.S.D. as a result of my experiences in the war, But I do not bring them home to my loving wife in any way. She was not the "Enemy", she is My Love, My Life. So for your friend, tell her to go to the military police, have his sorry *** arrested, while he is incarcerated, Go-Home to her "Real-Family" where she will not be subject to some "*******" emotional breakdown and drunken outbursts. Sounds like he is suffering from a well known disease, it's called COWARD-ISM where I come from! He clearly needs help. Hope this helps your friend. God Bless.1st Sgt., 7th Special Forces, (Ret.) Vietnam "67"-"70
2006-09-16 10:04:45 · answer #1 · answered by KatVic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friends husband was doctor and was doing the same-thing he's doing now, would you assume all doctors spouse's would have to accept the same bad behavior that you listed in this question? Of course you wouldn't, because you know that one cheating, lying, drinking doctor doesn't represent every other doctor out there. And the same goes for the Military Members and their spouses.
There is such a negative stereotype about married Military men. No, they don't all drink, cheat and put their families second to their job. I couldn't ask for a more devoted husband and father then my own husband, and he's served in the Military forever! If anything, his career has taken a back burner to our family. He took these orders to Italy so our children and I could be with him instead of going back to a ship where he would have been gone a lot. But when he made the choice to come here, he knew he had little chance of advancing because this is his last tour. He'll retire from the Navy in a few years when he's done with this duty station. Had he gone to a ship, the chance of advancement was very much in his favor.
There are so many strong, loving Military couples out there. I'm repeating myself because I've said this before, but the Military isn't the reason someone cheats. They do it because their inconsiderate jerks! They would cheat regardless of what they did for a living. People from every profession and walk of life cheat on their spouses. It's not just a Military thing.
terrydbou...who answered this, you sound very bitter and perhaps you were screwed over by someone in the Military, but don't try to label every Military person as a cheater. I don't know why you're under the impression we Military wives have boob jobs...Never met one that has, and I don't know how we could afford one on the salary our husband's bring home! That is certainly not part of our medical insurance benefits!
And no, you don't have to be friends with other Military wives. It's up to us. I have become friends with just a handful of Military wives since I married my husband eight years ago. And I was 25 and married before I became pregnant with my child, I didn't get knocked up at an early age and my husband had to run out and join the Navy. He had already been in for 12 years when we met. And if you had any clue about what you're saying, you would see that there is a very low percentage rate of young Military couples that got married because the girl became pregnant.
2006-09-16 09:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Naples_6 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As a military wife let me just say we have the same issues as people have in the civilian world. There are men that cheat on there wives or vise versa, their are spouse that do nothing that drink.
However, there are a lot of nice families in the military. If she is afraid that her husband will be like this then she needs to think about being married to him. He has to be mature enough to know what situations to stay away from.
As far a coming second to the military, yeah a lot of time it does seem that way. The say is "if the military wanted you to have a family they would have issued one." Sometimes yeah it does feel like that, but then again they also do a lot for the family's. It really depends on the company and battalion he is in, as far as what they do. The military life is what you put into it.
As far as what kind of qualities she needs to have as a person. She needs to be flexible, she needs to be strong, and her and her husband have to have a strong relationship and need to communicate on everything. The military will try to help you if you ask and if you ask the right people, like his 1st Sargent or company commander. A lot of people do have negative experiences but that is there own doing.
To terrydbouvier You are trash. Sorry I have to keep it PG. I as another military wife, I can for a fact tell you that my husband has never cheated on me on his deployments. Some people have better morals than some. I also can tell you, I have never cheated on him while he has been gone either. Nether one of us would risk losing what we love the most, each other, for a one night stand. Just because a few do this doesn't mean they all do. Should I assume that just because you are a guy, that your an *** because they all the ones I know are. No!!! Stereotyping is ridiculous, we are adults.
Honey, if your friend and her husband have a really strong commitment they have nothing to worry about.
2006-09-16 13:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by paige_98_69 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a military brat and a military wife. Accepting drinking is up to you. Cheating they can NOT do, thats a automatically kick out of the military. The family part, I agree. I have told many of my friends that if they don't like (at tht time) boyfriends coming home late and they hate it when they have to work on Saturdays and maybe report on sundays as well, to not tie the knot. Its a very hard especially with kids. My daughter is always asking for my husband. At times I feel like giving up but when he says Thank you for supporting me" I get back up. The military life has its ups and down but its all worth it. Its great to see ur other half in uniform serving this country
2006-09-16 08:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by lv2bnpr 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am not a wife, actually I am not a woman, but from what my expience has been with military and even outside of the military is that whether or not he is in the military the question that you ask many people ask even when thier husbands and boyfriends are working at an office, or lumber yard. I think that people cheat, steal and lie no matter where they are. You don't have to deal with it anywhere. I am not suggesting to go and dump him, that would probably hurt him especially if he is over there. That song: When your out in the club, dont think I'm not... comes to mind.
2006-09-16 08:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by ragajungle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you are mixing with the wrong military people, husband in mil. for 21 years rarely drinks......sure as heck NEVER cheated, and yes I do have agree with the kids come second to the military BUT that's what pays your mortgage, doctor bills and all the other stuff you get.
UPDATE
As a military wife, you need patience most of all and the strength to hold it together when they are away.
The most he was away was 6 months and we areed that if I could keep my drawers on for that length of time then so could he.........I suppose it just depends on the sort of age group you are referring to really, we got married older and for us both it was not our 1st marriage so we knew more of what we did NOT want out of life and most importantly what we did want, but fair point on the distance thingy................and there is ALWAYS someone with a big mouth that will rat them out, plus like a later reply stated it CAN be used as reasons for dismissal from the military
2006-09-16 08:14:05 · answer #6 · answered by candy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your issues don't have ANYTHING to do with being married to a professional military man... It does however have EVERYTHING to do with being married to an A$$HOLE!!!
What do I think??? leave him and take him for all you can... He deserves it!
2006-09-16 08:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jerry D 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋