The neighbor complained about the boyfriend's music, but it is not really all that loud?

Question

Our neighbor says she has very sensitive ears, and my BF's music is too loud. Her daughter came to our door and got quite nasty with my BF. He really dosent play it that loud. He also does not want to use headphones all the time. We are not breaking local or association regulations, but I do not want more problems with neighbors than I have already had(dog problems with another neighbor) Moving is not an option.

ooops, I mean my boyfriend, it wont let me edit

Seriously, it is not loud, it can be heard only very slightly outside the house unless he blasts it when I am not home.

we live in a house, but the houses are close together.

The problem with the other neighbor was because of THIER dog using our yard as its bathroom. Big dog, every day.

Answer 1

If your neighbor can hear the music, it's too loud.

Answer 2

It isn't just how loud the music is, it is also what time it is played, and what sort of music it is. There is also a little dependence on your other activities.

If you've already irritatedt the neighborhood with the dog, then the music is just one more thing that they will hold against you.

This part about "not all that loud" is rather subjective. Some folks like to feel the music. To them, loud is anything which rattles windows. To others, who prefer a more serene atmosphere, anything approaching normal conversation levels is too loud for music.

Consider the type of music. If your bf likes rap or something with a strong beat, it will most definitely irritate neighbors. The same goes for certain lyrics and strong language.

Now, about ordinances. There are loudness (decibel) limits in some places, but in others the law is written so that if the noise irritates the neighbors, it is illegal.

Buy you bf a really good set of headphones. He will enjoy the music even more with them (less outside interference), and the neighbor will be delighted. Audiophiles use headphones, not to avoid bothering others, but to really hear the fine elements of the music better. They will also insist on a perfectly quiet room in which to use the headphones.

Consider closing windows, putting up some sound absorbing curtains, tapestries, rugs, etc. These may lessen the effect on the outside world. Look at things from your neighbor's point of view. If she can hear your music, it's probably too loud.

Answer 3

You are talking about a situation where, because of a very understandable action on your boyfriend's part, another person cannot have peace in their own home. That's a pretty big thing to take from another person, you know?

Empathy: seeing something from another person's point of view.
Compassion: giving a **** about the other person's point of view
Question: do you have any?

It's not really loud, but someone else is hearing it who is not in your apartment.

He doesn't want to use headphones, so other people must listen to his music? Where is the logic in that? That's the same logic as "I like to kill, so you must die."

In Japan, where cities are very very crowded, neighborhoods are very quiet because people have respect for each other.

You and your boyfriend will be amazed at how really nice life goes when you treat other people with respect. If you really don't want more problems with neighbors, be the bigger person.

Your boyfriend should go to the neighbor and apologize. Even if he doesn't think he's wrong (apologizing really increases one's status, tho so many don't seem to realize it.) he should. Apologize for being insensitive, thank her for helping you think about the situation in a new way, and then ask if there are times when she might not be home that he could blast it.

Speaking as someone who used to blast her radio at red lights, and now turns it down and rolls up the window until the light changes...

Answer 4

I don't know if the houses are close together, or if your bf and you have been hearing loud music so long that you don't recognize when it's loud, or maybe other peoples perception is different from your perception. Or maybe it's just the bad words in the songs that irritate that neighbor. You said your bf doesn't play it "that" loud, which means you agree he does play it loud.

You said there are no local or association regulations he's breaking...Did you check that out for sure or are you just saying that to convince us? I once had a neighbor who had one of those clinky wind chimes outside her door, and her door was next to mine. It was disruptive and noisy and I called the complex cop who came and told her to remove it. When she didn't he threatened her with his calling the police who would have taken her to jail, he said, because she was creating a disturbance.

So it's your bf's choice I guess. When someone complains, they really mean it bothers them.

Answer 5

If you are playing music in a house and your neighbor hears it in her house, then it definately is loud. Close the windows. It is loud when you can hear it clearly from another room.

If its an apartment complex, which means the music might not be that loud but can be heard through the walls, then still learn to be considerate.

Answer 6

I too have a neighbor with a large stereo who does not know how loud it is. I am willing to put good #30 ear plugs in my ears to accommodate him, but if I can still hear it enough to be annoying in my apartment with good earplugs in, then it is too loud. In general, I have had neighbors and landlords agree that was "reasonably accommodating" in these instances for some 30 years. You might mention to your neighbor that you would consider that a very fair arrangement, and your boyfriend would not play his music beyond that level.

After all, sometimes it's just flimsy walls that is the problem.

Answer 7

Well ... we can't hear it here at Yahoo Answers, but the rule of thumb is: if it's loud enough to bother your neighbor then it's too loud. What you consider to be 'not that loud at all' may be nerve-wracking to someone else. Be a good neighbor and turn it down. Headphones / mp3 player are an excellent option.

Answer 8

If your neighbor shares an adjoining wall with your home, there might be insufficent insulation. Have the neighbor come inside and see if the music is too loud actually. Is the base turned up too much? I have to call the police on people across the street because their base shakes my apartement. Sit down with the neighbor and try to work something out.

Answer 9

If your music can be heard outside of your house then it is way too loud. If it gets even louder when your BF is home alone, then you have some problems on your hands. People shouldn't be so inconsiderate as to blast their music so that others are forced to listen to it. Your boyfriend is an inconsiderate jerk. You might want to think about getting rid of him. He doesn't seem to care about anyone other than himself.

Answer 10

be careful, they may go to the landlord or super and complain and if it states in your lease some sort of a noise clause or something about not being noisy or a certain number of complaints, they may be able to evict you. Chose your battles wisely, you are at the mercy of your lease. Especially if you cannot move. You need to make the best of the situation that you are in. Try moving your stereo away from the wall. We all have to compromise every now and then, so you may need to do that.

Answer 11

People have different definitions of loudness. But if they keep complaining that means they can hear it and people don't want to hear other people's music. Ok, have your bf put the music on and then go outside the door and tell him to keep turning it down until you can't hear it. Then don't go above that setting.