I have a friend who, I realised, liked me more than as a friend. Since I have no such feeilngs, indirectly, I made it known to him that I am not interested romantically. We don't talk as much now but are on very good terms otherwise.
However, whenever I see him talking to another female, I get very mad, almost jealous and somehow I feel like not letting him talk to anybody else. I dont understand why... It's not that I'm in love with him or anything...... Should I drift away for a while or something? Kindly help...
2006-09-16 07:22:44 · 38 answers · asked by priyanka g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a friend and we are in the similar situations. I have informed him that I just want to be friends. I think it is natural to sort of want him to continue to like you even though you don't want anything else. I tried to re-examine my feelings about my friend when I "got jealous" and decided to possibly give it a try. Oh, did he back away when I suggested it. I just let it go and we are still the best of friends. I am his friend and I truly want him to be happy. He deserves to have someone.
I think with me it isn't that I am jealous of him personally, just jealous that there is no one in my life like him. He is the most kind person I have ever met and his morals are very much like mine. I get jealous thinking I want someone like him, not necessarily want him.
I suggest that you re-examine your feelings to see what it is you really feel. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-16 07:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I am gonna have to disagree with almost every one else who answered your question. People need to stop throwing the word love around in the context they are. There are different types of love, and I think that might have a little bit to do with it. Since you've been such good friends, you might think that since he's talking to other girls, that the girls are going to take him away from you, as a friend, and that all the time you used to be able to spend together won't be there anymore. You might also be jealous because you might subconciously think that if he loves someone else, he won't care as much about you. If you're really great friends, he will always care for you like he has. There is no need to drift away, just consider this.
2006-09-16 07:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, pardon me, but maybe you're just being a little uptight. How long have you known him? If you've known him for a while then that might be the reason. It could also depend on which girl he's talking to. If he's talking to someone you aren't necessarily friends with, then it might pi** you off a little. Or even worse it might be someone that you ARE friends with. That might make you even more mad cuz that means that you'll have to be around them all the time. But I think that you should just back off a little bit. I mean, he's just talking, and humans do that. How many guys do you talk to in one regular school day? Prolly a lot. And he's not pi**ed with you, and he's the one who likes you.
Are you really sure that you don't like him? That's the real question....
2006-09-16 07:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by x-e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is general nature and know how shy we are when we come to asking but if can't come to terms it's hard. I would try and learn to ask outright if the guy is interested and say I am. I feel like the ppl here asking my-self these question as I found a lady who we were friends but would accept more but whats the limit on courtship or the other? I do not to offend her but show what an I haved dropped some of my reactions to my old relationships etc,. Now I feel bettter that I've answered you!
2006-09-16 07:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by David H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessary tht. u love him romantically, iff u r jealous.
Jealousy and Possessiveness are a part of human nature.
Its natural. I get possessive for my female frens as well.
Moreover, ur knowing the fact tht he likes u better than just being a fren, makes u even more possessive and makes u take him 4 granted n thus u want him to behave the same - ever.
Ignore these jealousy - pangs by smiling at him when he's with other girls - and u'll feel better.
2006-09-16 10:59:53 · answer #5 · answered by simi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like the idea of him being wrapped up in you even though you have no interest in him so when he talks to others there will be a possibility of him drifting from you and finding someone who shares his feelings. It makes you feel wanted and important but that makes you very selfish and in the long run he wont even want to be friends w/you.
2006-09-16 07:30:52 · answer #6 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you've been friends in a way that you aren't recognizing your true feelings. That probably doesn't make sense, but anyhow, if you are jealous over him with other women, hon, you like him as more than just a friend. Why not give it a shot? Don't drift away from a friend.
2006-09-16 07:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by smallweed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears that you actually like him. It's more than just friendship. But, whether it's love or not you need to decide. Having told him once that you are not romantically inclined towards him, you may find it difficult to tell now that you love him. Nevertheless, ask yourself frankly why you feel jealous when he is with other women. If the answer is you want him badly, express your true feelings to him.
2006-09-17 21:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want him, but you don't want anyone else to have him either. It's selfish, but it happens ALOT. Maybe you do like him, but for silly reasons you feel you can't go out with him (you like his personality, but don't think he's very cute, don't like his friends, your friends don't like him, different religion, etc.)
You need to ask yourself WHY you wouldn't date him. Is it because he makes it too easy for you, sort of like "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" theory? You could lose him as your friend if you don't figure it out, is that what you want?
Take a chance! When you get older you'll realize the best relationships are with people you consider your best friend and not "just" a boy/girlfriend!
2006-09-16 07:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That means you want someone to be all for yourself. Your soulmate. If you dont see that in him (your friend), better search for him as soon as possible or otherwise you will have to like (like people say in the answers above) your friend.
Good friends are good frineds and lover is lover ........and I m glad to see that you know the difference...but It seems that you feel lonely and when he is with someone ....that lonelyness bites you more because u feel comfortable with him.
All you need to find a partner...(In Western term its called Boyfriend)
2006-09-16 08:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by Jumpy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋