I am 18 just graduated from highschool and in my first year of college and i met this guy matt that i like but my parents dont approve of the age difference he is 21 years old? how can i change there opinions?He is a very nice and sweet guy and he asked me too hang out too so i think he likes me and we have also been geting to know each other on the phone. How do i not start a fight with my parents? I really dont see where they are coming from?
2006-09-16 07:22:07 · 10 answers · asked by Jenny v 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My parents pay for almost everything i need so i want to be respectful. All they say is he is too advanced or mature for me.
2006-09-16 07:22:48 · update #1
They dont want to even meet him
2006-09-16 07:26:29 · update #2
I have always been a straight A-B+ student
2006-09-16 07:32:56 · update #3
No easy answer here. See if your parents might be willing to meet him at your house for coffee ... so they can get a sense of who he really is. Just ask if he could stop over for coffee or tea at a time that your parents will be home. That may help allay their fears. I wish you all the best on this ! Good Luck ! :)
2006-09-16 07:25:49 · answer #1 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I always advise my nephews, niece, and daughter that being 'friends first' is a win-win scenario. You probably won't make a lifetime mate at your age but you could make a lifetime friendship. There is nothing wrong with "friends with benefits". The hugging, kissing, making out is the fun part anyway!
From a parents point of view: You are too young to be seriously committed to anything but your future. Matt may be a great guy. If he were willing to be a great friend though, he will make an even greater boyfriend later!
2006-09-16 15:37:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point out to them that at age 18, boys are a lot more immature than 18-year-old girls. 18-year-old boys do stupid things, have silly ideas, and take crazy risks that a 21-year-old has already learned not to do.
If you were my daughter, I would very much prefer that you date 21-year-old Matt --- as opposed to a hyperactive, immature, and confused 18-year-old with saggy pants, and a skateboard.
Suggest some compromises. Ask if you can invite Matt over to their house for a Sunday afternoon cook-out and to watch the game on TV with your family, so they can get to know him. Or you could suggest that you only see him with group activities or double dates until your parents feel more comfortable.
Point out to your parents that you have a history of excellent judgement and assure them that they really can trust you.
Then go straight to the bull's eye of this controversy, which is: They are worried about your sexual activity. You should bring up the topic of sex and tell them how you plan to handle any sexual situations that might arise. Tell them that you have no intention of being sexually irresponsible or starting a family until you graduate from college and are married. That would impress me as a parent.
Lastly, remind your mother that young women mature at about age 18. Unfortunately, all over the world men continue to mature around the age of 40. She'll be forced to laugh, admit that this is true and it may help your case. A little humor might help your parents to lighten up.
2006-09-16 14:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by Ayliann 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes a little bit of hiding stuff wont hurt. You have to fight for what you want. You are 18. My husband is 3 years older than me. I was 19 and he was 22. What the hell. Sometimes parents are just way over protective. My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. Do what you think is right. Never mind them. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders.
2006-09-16 14:44:16 · answer #4 · answered by Mariah&Lydias_Mom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok im a parent and a former 18 year old who now has an 18 year old of her own. They mean well and are only trying to protect you. You are a young adult and you don't know everything. Do continue your friendship with Matt but try to obey your parents continue to be open and honest with them. They love you and only want the best for you. Good luck
2006-09-16 14:33:56 · answer #5 · answered by nylatinanurse 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's probably best to focus on your academics right now, anyway. Just be friends. That would be a safe compromise for you and your parents. It's good to are looking to honor your parents. Especially since they are paying for everything. Keep in mind that if Matt is worthy of you, he'll stick around and respect your parents, too.
2006-09-16 14:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok heres the thing... he's 21, and youre 18. youre parents need to realize that you are not underage because you are 18, so its not considered abuse. youre parents just care for your safety, maybe a little too much. tell them that youre 18 and that youre grown up now. maybe your parents dont want to face the facts.
2006-09-16 14:35:18 · answer #7 · answered by ace of spades 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just let them get to know him...if he's really that great they should be able to see that thereselves. My NOW HUSBAND was 19 when i was 15 and my mom didn't except it till i turned 18!! So that was really tough for me and him but we do love eachother and we STUCK together...now we're having a baby grl nov. 14
2006-09-16 14:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by CMA 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SOMETHING ABOUT PARENTS-THEY USUALLY HAVE A REASON FOR WHAT THEY SAY AND FEEL SO LISTEN AND TAKE THIER ADVICE!!
OH, AND THAT PART ABOUT CHANGING THIER MINDS-STOP TRYING CUZ IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!!
2006-09-19 13:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by b_rachelk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they want you to focus on colleg right now.you don't need any distractions.
2006-09-16 18:49:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋