Help! 1/2 of my RSVPS have NOT responded and they are due Monday!!?

Question

I sent out the Invitations to the wedding on 8/29. The RSVPS are due 9/18 and I need all of them that day. That day I am going to the caterer with the number of people so I can order the right amount of food. What should I do?

Answer 1

OK, I work for a "place" that does a lot of events and sends out thousands of invites.

From my experience I can tell you that a lot people (unfortunately) don't pay attention to that "RSVP by" date on the invite.... sucks, but true. Expect to get them up to the day of the wedding.

Also, expect about 10-20% of the people you invited to come without RSVPing at all. It might be rude, but believe me, it will happen.

So let's say you invited 100 (for round numbers) people to your wedding (this is a generic look at about what will come in RSVP wise):

*10 RSVP declining, on time.
*50 RSVP on time (saying they are attending).
*15 RSVP after the "RSVP by" date (saying they are attending).
*5 RSVP after the "RSVP by" date (saying they are not attending).
*15 Just show up the day of the wedding (never having RSVPed).
*5 Never show, and you never hear from them (but maybe get a gift in the mail).

Don't be too worried, but make sure you order more than enough of everything, etc.... (Keep my numbers in my, but don't live by them religiously.)

Remember that you can call people who haven't RSVPed, but that still may not cover all your bases. Next time make sure you send invites out a month in advance of the "RSVP by" date.

Answer 2

First, find out if you can push back going to the caterer by a couple of days. You might have written that 9/18 was the deadline. Did you mean that the RSVPs must be received by that date, or postmarked by that date? Some people might have thought it must be postmarked by that date, so the late replies should come to you in an extra day or two. I would give it a few more days, because you really did not give anywhere enough notice.

Otherwise, start calling people right away. Tell them you need to know for sure because you need to contact the caterer right now. When you do go to the caterer, I would order some extra plates. How many of the no replies do you expect to actually end up attending? Also, if you switch from a set menu/per plate to a buffet style dinner, it could help accomodate people who show up who have not RSVP'd.

Although you have no responsibility to provide/plan for people who have not RSVP'd, some of these no reply people might be family members or really close friends. They probably think that you have assumed they will come, and just did not bother to send the reply. If so, include them in your estimates to your caterer. However, if you don't know these people that well, I would just call them up and tell them, "I'm so sorry you can't make it to the wedding." If they act surprised, etc. you can just say you didn't receive an RSVP, so you figured they are not attending. And that all of the catering plans have already been set (even though you have an extra day or two to tell the caterer). If they change their minds right then and there and definitely say they are coming, then you can say "Okay, I'll try to see if the catering plans can be changed and I'll call you right back."

Answer 3

First off you should have sent the invittions out on 8/01 if you wanted them back by 9/18 always allow 6 weeks for rsvp's, Always plan to be at home all day the last day rsvp's are due... people will do last minute telephone calls to rsvp..

Calculate the number of rsvp's you have not recieved.. Divide that number by 3 and order that many additional meals... Statistically 25% of non-rsvpers will show up anyway, so ordering 33.3% more food than you need will give you a margin of error...

Lets do the math

You have 100 outstanding rsvp's divide by 3 = 33.333 (round to 34)

You will order 34 extra meals... Roughly 25 people will statistically show up to eat those meals leaving you with a 9 meal margin of error...

Talk to your caterer make sure they are prepared to package left over meals seperately and make sure the packing fee is included in the original catering price.. At the end of the evening left over meals can be sent home with grandparents alleviating them from the need to cook for a day or two...

Answer 4

Call them is the only thing you can do to do a follow up. Leave a message and state that if you don't have the information by lets say Sunday or Monday morning, you are not able to give accurate meaning won't be enough meal.

Should always send in 2 or more months in advance. Setting the due date with the caterer date on the same day is not wise.

What you could do is add on a few more meal plans to the amount you have to give you a lead way. Whoever shows up who didn't RSVPS, say that you are sorry but unfortunately they didn't RSVP. That is their own fault and not your problem to fix at this point.

Answer 5

Oh boy, you cut it a little close... by the time people got the invite (and we both know how slow the mail can be), and then sent it back, they'd only have a couple days to decide and get around to informing you. You need to give people six weeks or so... more if possible.

Lesson learned -- next time you get married you'll build in extra time. Oh, wait, there's not supposed to be a next time, right? All right then, let's fix it.

First, call the caterer, tell them what you did, ask for a couple extra days. Even one day would probably help.

Next thing to do at this point is to call everyone directly. I know it stinks to have to deal with that, but there's not a lot of choice now. Split it up with your fiancé. Maybe your folks (or his) can call their friends, too.

Good luck! I wish there was a better or easier way.

Answer 6

Start calling them today and tomorrow. Gently say that you have not received their response, and you were wondering if they were going to attend, and if so, how many in their party. Let them know that you have an appointment with the caterer on Monday, so you really need to know. If any one stalls, or doesn't have an answer, just ask for a guess. I'm sure most of them just forgot about the date; they didn't mean to be rude about it. If you don't have a phone number for some people, then look them up by name and/or address.

http://www.whitepages.com/
http://www.zabasearch.com/

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Get on the phone! To be fair, you really didn't give very much turnaround on the invitations, so some people may still have them sitting on the table waiting to be mailed. Or they may be in the mail. Or they may not have believed that this was a firm deadline. (Others should learn from this...)

A phone call is entirely acceptable - and a couple of hours on the phone will save you a lot of stress worrying about whether the numbers you gave the caterer are accurate. Enlist some family to help call, too.

Answer 8

Call them. Here' s a suggestion. Have maybe your maid of honor or good friend call to inquire. If you or your fiancee call, then even if a person had not really wanted to come, they may feel compelled to say yes to you on the phone, but still won't show. Or you could just count for a little over half to come and nix the rest. Have a specific names list at the entranceway of the reception. Tell the attendent that if their name is not on the list unfortunately they cannot enter. She could explain it as gentle reminder that only those that responded to the RSVP were accounted for.

Answer 9

You sent out RSVPs for a wedding with two weeks notice on them? Write down the names of whomever was considerate enough to respond, tell your caterer the number PLUS one quarter of the number of people who haven't responded, and start writing apologies to everyone who doesn't show up.

Answer 10

You should have had them respond 1 week before you needed the information. Too late now. Have your mom call her people, you future mother in-law call her people, & you call you & the groom/s people. BUT don't start calling until 9/18. It's rude if you don't give them until the day you gave them until.

Also call the caterer & see if you can get an extra day or two.