My parents dont?????????????

Question

am 18 just graduated from highschool and in my first year of college and i met this guy matt that i like but my parents dont approve of the age difference he is 21 years old? how can i change there opinions?He is a very nice and sweet guy and he asked me too hang out too so i think he likes me and we have also been geting to know each other on the phone. How do i not start a fight with my parents?

My parents pay for almost everything i need so i want to be respectful.

Thet think he is too mature for me.

Answer 1

Keep seeing him w/o their knowing. If yall are still together in a few years, it won't matter. If yall aren't still together in a few years, it still won't matter.

Answer 2

You didn't say if your parents had met him or not. Since you are still getting to know this guy maybe you should just give it some time. No since in biting the hand that feeds you, so to speak. In other words, don't blow a good thing with the folks when your not even sure about this guy. Once your comfortable with him then introduce him to the folks and let the chips fall where they may. If he balks on meeting the folks then maybe you will want to reconsider your options. No man is worth turning your back on your family or friends. They will always be there for you ,where he is liable to not be. So take things slowly, you are young and have plenty of time. Just enjoy life. Live it to the fullest. Before you know it, time will have flown by and you don't want to waste any of it on being miserable. Peace2U & GoodLuck

Answer 3

If the age difference is the only thing that they're not approving, that's not critical. It's only 3 years. What they may not be approving is the fact that he may become an interference for you from getting your college degree.

I'd sit down with my parents and talk with them and findout if there is more than the age difference that they don't like about the guy. Parents usually want the best for their children, especially if they're paying your way through college. That's a huge blessing. Tell them to be honest with you. Try to findout what they're concerned about. Do they not want you to date? Do they not want you to even talk to a guy?

Also, figure out what you want. Do you want to finish college? Can you do that having a relationship with someone? Weigh it out.

Being a mom, I'd hope my son could come talk with me about girls he's interested in. I have a really good sense for people. I can spot out if they are using him or aren't sincerely interested in his best interests, or at least give him my honest opinion of her. Even if he doesn't agree, at least I'd see him as willing to hear my opinion and make a good evaluation for himself.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I definitely understand your point about wanting to be respectful while still getting their support and understanding. Its very difficult when you realize that your parents don't trust you or perhaps the guy that you like. I've been there. I would not mention him to your parents too much. Not that you're keeping him from your parents but so that you have parent time seperate from guy/girl time. Remember that your parents expect you to be putting your main attentions to school and not boys. Of course, we all know that you'll still hang out and talk on the phone and such but parents need reassurance. They'll come around eventually.

Answer 5

I think that it's nice to see someone who appreciates what her parents are doing for her. Being respectful, like you said, is a step in the right direction.

Would they be willing to meet Matt? If he likes you as much as you think he does, hanging out at your house with your parents a few times shouldn't be too bad. Let them see you two interact.

Just don't go behind your parents' back to do anything because when they find out (my parents always found out) they aren't going to change their minds. They'll just see him as a bad influence.

Answer 6

There is no way to not start a fight, but if you like the guy, go for it. I married someone who was 19 years older than me when I was 18. He is 39 now. My mother hates him, my father and grandfather love him. Go for it if it will make you happy. but three years age difference is NOTHING AT ALL. Go with it. Just talk with them and see what the problem is.

Women mature faster than men, so you are at the same level or higher of maturity as he is.

Answer 7

OMG I had the EXACT same problem. I liked a guy who was 2 years older then i was. You wont be able to change the fact he is older then you---so the best thing to do is invite your parents out to dinner at some resteraunt and tell your guy to come to. Tell him to be like "the perfect boy" funny, intellectual, sweet, and give him money at then end so he can pretend to offer to pay and just pay even tho it will really be your money. Try it, dinner is fun and it relaxes your parents. it will change there mind. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 8

You should first bring this Matt over to your parents house and show them what a nice guy he is. Ask them to give him a chance. Maybe they might approve if he is as nice as you say.

Answer 9

That's a really tiny age difference, so insignificant. Try and explain to your parents that you're an adult and old enough to make your own decisions. Or invite him round for dinner - if your parents meet him and see what a nice person he his, they may change their minds.

Answer 10

That's hardly a big age difference at all.
Maybe just try explaining to your parents that you don't want to upset them or anything, but you like this guy. And ask for them to at least give you and him a chance. Try explaining to your parents what he's like.
Maybe if they knew his personality they wouldn't be so disapproving.

Answer 11

ask your parents if they can come for a BBQ at your place so that you can have all of them together so that they can meet him and get to know him.they may change their minds.after all your 18 and he is 21 that is not a big age difference.