without trying to be rude, i have a 16 yr old son who constantly keeps putting his hand down his trousers?

Question

i asked him not to do it as it is unpleasant. his response is he does not realise he is doing it. it is a horrible habit but he refuses to see the doctor and i dont know what to do. should he go to a physiscarist, although he would probably refuse, i would just like help or ideas please.

Answer 1

Without realizing it YOU are telling him that he is abnormal, and needs to be fixed because there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. I understand as a woman it is very challenging to raise young boys into men, I have two sons. Women are very different in our perspectives, communication, and behaviors. You must try to understand the world and biological processing from their perspective. He is indeed doing what is a very normal behavior. Instead of closing communication by insisting he stop, open dialoge by asking questions and listening with understanding- he will learn to trust you with personal issues, that perhaps he, himself needs guidance or answers for.

Believe it or not boys are more comfortable talking to their mothers than fathers about personal issues if they feel respected and not judged. Without a doubt this is the time in his life he needs the most acceptance and assurance of self-worth- he will get plenty ridicule from his peers and others.

Only from a position of established trust and connection can you effectively communicate to him your concerns or constructive critisisms without wounding his spirit. Please consider this carefully.

We all need advice as parents, it says alot that you asked for it- obviously you care about doing the right thing.

Answer 2

I don't mean to offend, but I think you may be worrying about nothing! I work in a male dominated environment and they constantly are adjusting their tackle or fiddling with it in some way. My boyfriend will happily sit in front of the TV with his hands down his pants until I point out he is doing it. This is a very personal thing and your son is at a vulnerable age. I really think you shouldn't make a big issue about it. The more you have a go at him, the bigger the issue will become. You've tried telling him to stop it and it hasn't worked, why don't you leave him alone? You might find that if you stop having a go at him, he will open up to you and come to you with any problems he's got as you will seem more approachable.

Answer 3

Provided he is not playing with himself in public, males do need to adjust themselves, so this habit may just be the instinct or result of this completely natural and biological need. It does not necessarily indicate he needs to see a doctor for psychological reasons...
Even so, males his age (and much younger and older I might add) are constantly touching themselves and that is not only okay, but perfectly healthy too so long as it a private action.

I would suggest you keep reminding him that while it is so natural (and normal) to do this, he should make a better effort to not do so in public for the obvious variety of reasons.

Above all, DO NOT SHAME him into thinking he is weird...he's sixteen and already feeling so awkward.

Answer 4

Don't worry, I have a husband of 40years old who still does the same thing, I just tell him that before he touches anything in the house, ie- door handles etc to wash his hands! that generally works for a while! Seriously though, buy him some bath oil for dry skin and some exfoliating gloves from the chemist, it removes dead skin and softens the skin too which in turn won't make him scratch as much.

Answer 5

It's normal.... believe it or not.
Usually at 16, boys are developing or are pretty developed. From what my boys have shared with me, it itches sometimes or they just have to move their genitals to a different spot and they really don't realize they're doing it. I think they're finally realizing the purpose and trying to get used to it and control it, if you get my drift. Your son isn't crazy, he's normal.

My boys and I have a known look that I give them and it helps them be aware of what they're doing. It's helped a little bit, especially when around other people.

Answer 6

He might have a medical skin condition, which may cause itch in that area. This could be due to hormonal changes in his body and he could be constantly thinking about girls or sex. This is normal to think about girls at his age and he may need to do some physical activities to get his mind off his privates. It would be advisable to see a doctor.

Answer 7

Hi that would do my head in, in everytime you see him do it let him know. Tell him to stop it when you catch him. I would say you wouldnt like it if i went round with my hands down my pants. Then when he tells you to stop it your excuse to be, i dont know im doing it. Theres no reason to do it and if he doesnt wash his hands afterwards its YUK, I would go mental im afraid. Dont be embarassed to tell him, he shouldnt be doing it in front of you or people.If he wants to do it in his own time then let him, but out of your site and other peoples. Perhaps mention the doctor and see what he says.

Answer 8

I have a 30 year old husband who always has his hands down his trousers, whenever he is relaxing at home. He too says he does not realise he's doing it.

Answer 9

He will grow out of it, all the boys at school used to do that. They don't know, they get socially aware and conscious they will realise that girls don't like it.

perhaps a belt might help! It really will not help if you comment on it etc, like he said, he doesn't realise that he is doing it.

Answer 10

Sounds like his testing you...does he do this at school or in front of friends? Tell him you expect the same consideration as his friends. If he refuses you will need to drag his to see someone about it. You don't want him to grow up being creepy.