I met a man 7 months ago and we began a relationship. We have different views on many things, but also there is a lot of chemistry between us. We have had some bad disagreements and split up several times, only to come back together because we both missed each other so much. Anyway, now he says that we need to work on being friends, because we never really did that in the beginning. He says he will be monogamous to me sexually, but we are not ready for a fully committed, obligated relationship ( like we were engaged or something). He says he cannot give me 100% of himself, but he loves me and he wants to talk to me and spend time with me still. He says I am too possessive. He has a lot of ex-girlfriends he is still friends with and talks to, emails, etc. (although they live out of state). I do have a problem with that. It makes me feel uneasy. He says he is always there for me and he calls me almost daily. What is the deal here? Am I being a fool ?
2006-09-16 06:11:34 · 14 answers · asked by Amber 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My fiance and I have disagreements (I think it is normal cause we're 2 different people), but we also see eye-to-eye on many things too. I love our relationship. In the starting-to-get-serious point of our love, we both agreed not to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex calling us or going out with/hanging with us. That worked for us . We are fully commited to each other. We are best-friends, but we have other friends but we have limitations on how far those friendships go so that we are respectful of one another's feelings. I understand how you feel because you do not know if an ex is mailing him as just a friend or as a old girlfriend that still loves him. However, you can not expect him to give up friendships that existed before you came alone. At the same time, he should have no problem with you having male friends that you talk to and email if you want to, but do not do it not to be petty or get even. Also, I will tell you that you should not settle unless you absolutely want to. This relationship keeps ending and starting over for a reason. I don't think you like the place where ya'll relationship is--sex but no commitment. If you want someone that is going to be committed to you and who gives as much of himself to you as you do to him, that is the type of love you should work on finding. Be fair and true to yourself first. This may be a relationship where the costs outweigh the benefits. You have to decide for you though.
2006-09-16 06:42:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phew - he confuses me and i'm a guy! I can understand when he says he cannot give you 100% as i am in that position, but he has to convince you that he is not seeing anyone else, as that just isnt fair on you.
I am sure you can find someone who is willing to give you exactly what you're looking for if you look around. Don't let him waste your time as life is far too short for that!
Maybe cool down a little with him and it may make him realise what you can do without him and that you have your own life.
Good luck
2006-09-16 13:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by PG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not only foolish but too shallow. you will never control or own another person completely especially a: man
make sure your own life is full of people you keep up with so that you are not jealous of him having friends then decide if you want to trust him or not
If you decide to trust him, then do so and count yourself lucky to have him in your life. Don't jump to conclusions, jump the gun, rush him too much (and drive him away from you). Learn how to be loving in the best sense. Read the 'Art of Loving' by Erich Fromm, and 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray.
Good luck!
2006-09-16 13:18:40 · answer #3 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been through this before, I'm pretty sure he's taking advantage of your feelings for him. The line about "can't give 100% of myself BUT I love you" is a classic giveaway. You're wasting your time with this man! Tell him to call you when he's ready to make you the focus of his life, and start seeing other people who WILL make you number one, and let you know about it. Don't let him disrespect you for even one more day! You're worth so much more than that.
2006-09-16 13:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you guys are in love with eachother but just can't get along.you need to work out your differences and try not to be so controling.Both of you need space and trust to better your relationship.having a relationship is supost to be having a best friend.
2006-09-16 13:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by Casper77mc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HES PLAYING GAMES WIT U . . HE ONLY WANTS 2 SEE U AND HAVE SEX IF HE WANTS TO. IF UR LOOKING 4 A RELATIONSHIP U NEED 2 MOVE ON. IF U LIKE GETTING WIT SOMEONE JUST 4 SEX WELL HES THE ONE 4 THAT.ITS SAIDS IN THE BIBLE NOT TO CALL ANYONE A FOOL, SO I TELL SAY U BEING PLAYED!!!!!!!!!..
2006-09-16 13:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, find someone who will respect you for who you are and can give 100% of himself to you. He's playing games with your head.
2006-09-16 13:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by italiana2683 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try 2 relax just coz hes friends with his x dnt mean nofin
2006-09-16 13:16:58 · answer #8 · answered by martha c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes do the friendship thing and nothing more.
2006-09-16 13:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do the friendship thing and then you will see if you are really suppose to be together
2006-09-16 13:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋