Will the way I raise my son, in regards to the standards I raise him with, harm him ... please read on?

Question

An example: I like films like Mary Poppins, I dont like the part in Toy Story where Buzz says "shut up" My son is 2 and a half and is like a little sponge! I dont think "shut up" comming out of a two year old mouth is a nice thing - its really difucult for a 2yr old to distinguish whts ok and whats not
ie. yes, buzz said that but its not polite so you shouldn't
Another example, I don't like him playing with guns.
And one last example, I dont appreciate my partner teaching him cheeky comments.
So its supposed to be a joke, but I dont think calling aunty a "fatty" is very polite!
Am I being far too over the top? I know I am only a guide and he will grow into his own person, but I feel it is my responsibility to try my best to teach him what is, and is not acceptable. Will he not fit in with society because I am 'sheltering him from the real world' as Im sure some people may take this.
Is it enough that Im questioning myself?? Pls only serious answers.
Thanks in advance

LOL My "partner" IS my sons father!!!
And the "Aunt" is HIS sister

Answer 1

You are absolutely teaching him the right things! I don't like the words "shut up", they are very rude. I also agree with you on the gun issue. Nowadays there is just too much violence with guns and toy guns are not seen in the same way as when I was young. Calling people names is never a good thing, especially when it is someone that is close to him.

Keep up the good work! There are many kids that are not taught proper manners, common courtesy and empathy. It's good to know that some parents are on top of it.

It makes me feel good when I go to a mall or somewhere with my teenage daughter and they comment on her good manners. It makes her feel good also. The "real world" loves manners!

You will find that you question yourself all the time when you are a parent. It's good to seek out the answers if you can't come up with them yourself, or if you just need reassurance.

Answer 2

first relax, and take a deep breath, I have two sons and i know where you are coming from., just as he soaks everything up like a sponge that seems to be negative, so he does with the positive things. Your words and actions speak just as loudly as the other outside influences do. As for your partner, this I am assuming is your biological child, if so, you should have no reason why you cannot tell your partner what you want in your child's behavior and if this person can not comply then this person should not be around your child, your partner is there to support you and your upbringing of your child, I say again SUPPORT you and your raising of this child. Protect your child yes, but do take time to make what seems to be a negative situation into a learning one, Like aunt fatty, people come in all different sizes and it is o.k. to be big or small, but saying fatty can hurt someones feelings. That explanation may need to wait until he is older, two years old may just need to know that it is wrong and to apologize for now. Take care and good luck.

Answer 3

Well, maybe you are....children are like sponges as you say, but they've also got developing brains...they learn by trial an error (read embarassing situations like he cauls the mentioned aunt in the question a "fatty").He'll learn....and he'll learn these things sooner or later eventually. I'd say it was harmless, provided of course it doesn't go to extreme profanity. But words like shut up are barely intelligible when a little fella of 2 and a half says it anyway. Try to remember that the mentality of children aren't parrots - they don't repeat the meaning of words without understanding the meaning or reaction of saying it - they watch the facial expressions of the person saying it and determine whether it was said in a hostile, joking or pleased manner.

Answer 4

I have a two year old also a 3.5 year old.

I would be disgusted if they used comments like shut up, stupid, fatty etc. I do let them watch childrens films etc but I have explained to both what I find acceptable. Lucky for me they have stuck to this my oldest has heard me swear but she understands that when she is an adult that it will then be her choice if she wants to use such words.

I think that once they start school we will be having the conversation again.

Sorry off on a tangant, but I do not think it will affect your son in the real world. I think you have to expect he will use terms that you don't like when he is older but you need to address that when the time comes. As far as calling your aunty fatty I would not be happy with that it is rude and very bad manners.

Answer 5

Always remember this: What you teach a child (any child) will be the measuring stick they take trough life... they will size up things to that measure you have provided. They will make different choices at times, but it will be the guiding principal they have until they pass out of this world. Teaching the gift of manners and polite communication can not cripple the kid but only help in the long run. How many parents do you know who would welcome someone into their home as a friend of their child who swears out loud, helps himself to the food and tosses dirty socks in the house.....while belittling those who live there.

If you do know any ... that is the shallow end of the gene pool that need chlorination!

Answer 6

Right on!... I was brought up this same way (I'm now 22).. I have a 2 year old myself and I feel that I am teaching him the same way you are. I'm teaching him please/thank you. My husband and I tell him what is right and wrong (taking toys from sister, etc.) And if I ever hear him say shut up, or I hate you, then YES, I am going to tell him that's inappropriate. I can't stand it how some parents think it's "so cute" when their kids say "I hate you!", or "I'm gonna kill you!" or swear words. In my opinion, you're not sheltering your child at all, we need more mothers like you in the world!

Answer 7

Your son is two. He will pick up things from others no matter what you want. The best thing to do is just let him know it isnt nice. You are being a little old fashion with the mary poppins thing. I like movies like that too. But he will see the newer movies and needs you to teach him

Answer 8

I wouldn't want my child saying "shut up" or calling people "fatty" either....those are the type of things that you will have to go pick him up from school if he does in kindergarden. I think you are right on track!! :) 2 Years old is a TENDER age....your being a great mom, don't worry!!

Answer 9

You mentioned a "partner?" Maybe you should be more concerned with the example you are showing him by the way you are living more than anything else. We are our children's greatest role models. I have raised 3 children, lost 1 in a car accident @ 22 - still have 2 teens @ home - they copy us, our values, priorities, mannerisms, etc. - he is looking at you more than he is looking at that movie! Take a look at your own life. YOU are the role model, do you fit your own qualifications?

Answer 10

you are doing the right thing, there are enough rude people in the world already. Also if you raise him with manors as i have my son everyone will like him and like to be around him and life in general will be easier for him, in the work place, in a relationship anywhere. all you need to do is teach him to stick up for himself, but teach him to do it with politely